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DH going away close to due date

(39 Posts)
Cheeseandapple Tue 24-Apr-18 21:55:22

I'm 38 weeks pregnant with first baby and DH is planning a night away at the weekend. He'll be over 2.5 hours away visiting PIL. I have no family nearby & DM will be out if the country (otherwise she would come stay). AIBU to feel anxious that he's going away so close to DD and to feel sad that he's going away at all? Can't tell if I'm just really hormonal and need to chill or if it's legitimate.

Ps had midwife appointment yesterday and the baby's head is not engaged yet.

Sally2791 Tue 24-Apr-18 21:57:48

I wouldn't be impressed. Why doesn't he feel he should stay close?

NapQueen Tue 24-Apr-18 21:58:53

He is 2.5h away. If you call him on the first contraction he will still arrive before the hospital even let you go in!

Its one night.

couchparsnip Tue 24-Apr-18 22:00:24

Definitely him BU.

firstworldproblems2018 Tue 24-Apr-18 22:01:34

Ooh tough one. Is it your first baby?

ChaChaChaCh4nges Tue 24-Apr-18 22:01:54

I had DC1 in 3 hours (from very first contraction) at 38+0 weeks. And DC3 in 2.25 hours at 38+1 weeks. DC2 was 2.5 hours but kindly waited until a week after we’d moved house, and came at 40+1 weeks.

You’re term, it could happen any time now, and it could be quick.

eurochick Tue 24-Apr-18 22:02:35

Why does he need to go?

Emma198 Tue 24-Apr-18 22:03:17

What's his reason for going away? Random trip or something important?

Fruitcorner123 Tue 24-Apr-18 22:05:03

Unless he has a really good reason I think he is BU. Surely his parents will be coming down to meet the baby shortly after the birth anyway?

Bodicea Tue 24-Apr-18 22:07:58

No way should he be leaving you at this stage for something none essential. My waters went in bed at 38 weeks with my first. My contractions came thick and fast and I was in agony quite quickly. I didn’t have the baby for andother 24 hours but I still needed him there from the start as I was scared, in pain and couldn’t drive myself. Why would he want to leave you on your own at this stage?

pastabest Tue 24-Apr-18 22:09:52

Completely understand how you are feeling but if you look at it unemotionally the chances of you going into labour in the next 4-5 days are relatively slim given it's your first and the head isn't yet engaged.

Also labour is rarely like you see on TV, most of the time (especially with your first) you tend to get a fair bit of notice, certainly usually more than 2.5 hours.

Despite all that, in your position I would expect him to have an extremely good reason for visiting PILs when you are 38 weeks pregnant.

Cheeseandapple Tue 24-Apr-18 22:12:09

@firstworldproblems2018 yes first baby.

KadabrasSpoon Tue 24-Apr-18 22:12:17

Is it important? Can he go another time?
You'll get posters saying labour will be slow but there's no guarantee of that.

Aprilmightbemynewname Tue 24-Apr-18 22:14:19

Why does he want /need to go?

Homemenu1 Tue 24-Apr-18 22:15:55

What’s his reason for going?

Leeds2 Tue 24-Apr-18 22:16:44

I wouldn't be impressed. Unless he has a really good reason to be away. Tbh, I am surprised he would want to be away and potentially miss the birth of his first born.

Cheeseandapple Tue 24-Apr-18 22:17:04

It's for a birthday - the birthday was a couple of weeks ago but he bought tickets to something on the weekend and wants to go with them.

Thanks for all your replies - feeling validated. I think, as it's our first and he's not experiencing pregnancy he's just more removed from it than me. He's been very involved and really excited, not sure why this has become an issue.

AfterSchoolWorry Tue 24-Apr-18 22:17:11

Just tell him no.

lindyhopy Tue 24-Apr-18 22:17:11

he is BU surprised PIL is encouraging this.

Cheeseandapple Tue 24-Apr-18 22:18:33

I've told him I don't want him to go and he won't but he's a bit sulky now.

Emma198 Tue 24-Apr-18 22:23:22

Did he buy the tickets before you were pregnant? X

Aquamarine1029 Tue 24-Apr-18 22:24:42

I am a very independent, secure person, but even I would have been furious at my husband if he pulled this shite. His first responsibility is to YOU and your baby, not some fucking birthday celebration. You are heavily pregnant and need his support. Obviously, the chances that an emergency concerning your pregnancy are slim, but what if it did? You would need him by your side immediately, not in 3 hours. I would tell him in no uncertain terms that this is not happening. I'm shocked that his family would expect or encourage him to leave you at this time.

MadeForThis Tue 24-Apr-18 22:25:22

I'm assuming he would be more sulky if he missed the birth.

Aprilmightbemynewname Tue 24-Apr-18 22:29:15

Just thought, if he goes there would it put the ils off coming to you when the baby arrives?

Iloveacurry Tue 24-Apr-18 22:30:02

You’re not being unreasonable, I wouldn’t be happy either. He’ll get over his sulk.

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