Day off work for MH reasons?

[tiredand44]

Just that really. I have the odd day now and again where I just struggle to even get out of bed. I have a senior position in a company and not being at work is conspicuous, but if I had the flu or food poisoning I wouldn't go in.

I just feel guilty taking a MH day off.

[Missingstreetlife]

If you are not well, you are not well, but are you getting any help?
Gp should rule out physical cause, then think stress management, work life balance, counselling, excercise, diet etc. Even medication if it is often.

[LifeBeginsAtGin]

Can you work from home?

[tiredand44]

I'm on antidepressants, thyroxine for underactive thyroid, plus HRT. So medicated to the hilt.

I just have days of wondering what it's all about.

[tiredand44]

@LifeBeginsAtGin I can work from home, I'll log on shortly. It's just hard to say I'm at home because I'm feeling really down, rather than I've got a bad cold!

[whatshappening1]

Try seeing if you can work from home and do some work in bed, you should consider seeing a counsellor or someone to talk to about all of this

[tiredand44]

I think it's my job that causes my anxiety.

[whatshappening1]

In that case find another job, no job is worth destroying your health over, its only going to get worse, please find another place to work

[Inkstainedmags]

This is what is wrong with our attitude to MH. If someone had a stomach bug or the flu, no one would suggest they work from home. They would say call in sick, get some rest and take good care of yourself.

And that's what you should do OP. Hopefully one day of self care and you'll be back on your feet but just as with any other illness, if you start to feel worse or don't feel better in a reasonable amount of time, see your GP.

We really need to change our attitude to mental health, which is becoming such an epidemic.

[Onlyjoinedforthisthread]

Do work know about your depression? I had to tell mine in the end and they couldn't have been more helpful, little things like extended lunch breaks, making sure I didn't stay at my desk at lunch times, helping me with my back log then helping plan work, little things like tick lists so you could see progress through out the day and fresh air. The little things really helped. We are all different and it may not work for you but it might be worth a try

[CurlyRover]

Don't feel bad OP. Before I left my most recent job (it was making my MH a lot worse) I used to take days off because of my depression and anxiety although like you I felt awkward about it and most of the time would give another reason for being off.

As ink has suggested, I think it may be more helpful to get some rest rather than work from home unless of course you feel it would be beneficial

Is there anything work can do to help such as allowing you to work from home?

[FormerlyFrikadela01]

Inkstainedmags

This is spot on. Our whole attitude to mental health sucks. I don't have a diagnosed mental health problem but a few months ago took a day off because I just couldn't face going into work, I needed a day to just reset but I had to lie and say I had a migraine becasue I knew it wouldn't be taken seriously.

Worst is that I'm a mental health nurse. The ideas about mental health are just so ingrained. It's sad.

Take the day OP. You need self care every now and then.

[NellysMami]

I'm in the same situation. I am now terrified of having another day off because I've already been threatened with formal absence procedures. I haven't had a day off since the Feb half term (teacher) and feeling quite proud of that. I have to say that nine times out of ten once I'm in work I feel okay - but I make allowances, don't push myself, cut corners where I can. In that time I have been unwell - migraines, chest infection - but I hate the thought that management will be thinking ooh she's just depressed, or whatever it is they think. I'm leaving at the end of this term so that's making it easier. I completely understand your worries about MH disclosure - I've told some bizarre lies in the past to cover up that I was depressed / suicidal / struggling with my ptsd.

[Idontdowindows]

It's just as legitimate to take a day off due to MH issues as it is to take a day off due to a flapping great big cold.

Mental health is a HEALTH issue. Unfortunately it is still seen as something only for weak people who can't human properly :(

[Littlechocola]

FormerlyFrikadela01 I hear you! I am also a mental health nurse and also feel like I wouldn’t be taken seriously.
Work says the right things but the support doesn’t ever come so I don’t say anything. Then theirs the added ‘embarrassment’ (I feel) that if I can’t look after me how can I support others.

[Fruitcorner123]

I'm with others in saying have the day to rest not work from home . Try and take some time to think about how you could change your job if you think it is that that is causing the anxiety. No job is worth it and a small change can make more difference than you might imagine.

[tiredand44]

The perception of MH issues in the workplace just doesn't seem to be supported. Work are aware but haven't done anything to help me, if anything they've made it worse and increased the pressure on me (and I put enough pressure on myself not to need any more from them!).

I'm torn, I'm up and showered so could go in, but I'd love a day away from all the crap!

[Caulk]

I’ve taken MH days in the past. However, I would highly recommend having psychotherapy or similar, as sometimes I can feel possible to deal with work anxieties (or whatever) if you know you have a safe space to talk during the week too.

[Mary1935]

Take the day off - look after yourself - I take time off when I've not slept very well and I wouldn't function at work. I'm not fit for work.
Hi little and others - I'm a mental health nurse and we aren't good at looking after ourselves. My organisation would bleed you dry. I see colleagues that are dedicated and hard working carrying on when they are unwell. I've seen colleagues very stressed and I let the team manager know - he ignored it!!!
We have caseloads of 30 in the community - psychologist have 8!!! It pisses me off.
When good workers retire or leave they are never mentioned.
Look after yourselves first - I'm trying to head my own words.

[LemonysSnicket]

@Inkstainedmags yes they would, when my DP is I’ll with a chronic gastric issue they make him work from home .... I had to WFH with tonsillitis .... never understand why people think that everyone even gets days fully off sick even with physical illness.

[Mookatron]

If you have a senior position in the company are you in a position to do something about how mental health days are perceived in the company?

What would you think of one of your staff did what you're doing today?

[Morphene]

I'd be wary of taking a day off due to depression, simply because this is unlikely to leave you feeling better.

Whenever I cave to the depression stimulus saying 'I just can't face it today', I almost always feel worse as a result.

Depression thrives on disengagement, and staying in bed is just that. You lose personal contact most significantly, which again is feeding the issue.

On the flip side if you are filling your day with joy filled activities and people you like instead of drudgery and personal conflict at work then obviously it could be a real boost!

[Missingstreetlife]

Are you taking enough thyroid medicine, levels can fluctuate and tests not always a good indicator. If it's just the odd day it sounds like you are tired and stressed. Do you take planned leave often enough, a nine day fortnight/long weekend is sometimes better than waiting all year for a big break.

[chestylarue52]

Lots of people suggesting working from home



In my own experience, in a senior position and with anxiety, this just makes things worse. Your phone/laptop is still on, no one covers your work, it still piles up, you have the vague sense that you’re skiving, you can’t bring yourself to do any work and be productive. Its just as isolating and scary as being in the office. Plus you have to go back at some point, which can be worse, if you’ve had some time off.



Take a sick day, you don’t have to say why, just say you’re ill.



What I did was go to my management with a plan – I’m ill, I can’t work out how to get better. I applied for flexible working, and started on reduced hours. I told them I would go and see a cbt therapist, and I did. I took hour lunch breaks. I replied immediately if I didn’t think I’d be able to cope with an event or schedule. My managers were fine about it – I wouldn’t say they were ‘warm’ or ‘brilliant’ or ‘understanding’ but they accepted my plan. They have to, it’s the law.



Now I’m much better I’m back working at full speed.

[latebreakfast]

"If someone had a stomach bug or the flu, no one would suggest they work from home. They would say call in sick, get some rest and take good care of yourself. "

Depends how serious it was. I have often worked from home because I was (physically) too ill to go into work but still able to do something useful. Other members of our team do the same.

[tiredand44]

@chestylarue52 That's exactly how I feel! It does feel like I'm skiving yet people don't see when I'm working at weekends or until 11.30 as it was last night.

I think I need to be more resilient to conflict at work, this causes my anxiety to increase and I just want to curl up.

@Missingstreetlife I think I do need to get my thyroid levels checked. I've been feeling so tired in the afternoon, plus random bruises appearing. These are my classic signs, along with the depression.

Thank you all for being lovely