AIBU to not leave London?

[aperol]

Have NC.

Knife crime has been awful, latest stabbing not far from us, it is worrying I won't lie, but we love London and couldn't imagine moving out. Dh born & bred, I've been here 20 years. We have no space issues 4 bedrooms, a big garden with parks, shops, entertainment, transport etc nearby so no incentive to move further out and be mortgage free, start commuting, drive DC's to school, see less of DH blah blah

We have 2 dc who are in year 7 and year 5, both at great local schools (walking distance) doing really well and despite the recent stabbings we have no intention of leaving London, in fact we think the dc will appreciate being a teen in London. (Hard hat on!)

Over the years many of our good friends have moved out (mostly due to space, family & maybe safety?) we enjoy visiting them but usually look forward to getting back to London.

I totally get the raising kids in a safe, low crime location, less pollution environment... I'm sure there are a gazillion reasons more why moving away is great for you but I just love the freedom of London.

AIBU to not want to leave London? Asking this as I have been getting a few "why would you still live in London?" vibes from non London friends and family.

[Ozgirl75]

If you’re happy, then why even consider it.

I grew up in the countryside and it was brilliant until about 15 when I realised I was rather bored, always had to rely on lifts or taxis and would have moved to London in a heartbeat! So if you’re nearly through the younger childhood days, I think it’s teens when London really appeals and the country options can seem rather dull.

[Waggingmyginger]

I live in a sleepy village where there was a machete attack recently. Moving away is no guarantee of safety.

[CallMeOnMyCell]

Who is asking you to leave?

[Fridasfridgefreezer]

You’ve answered your own question really.

[LoveYouTimMinchin]

Quite clearly millions and millions of families have judged it fine and safe to stay in London as witnessed by the chronic shortage of school places. So, no, yanbu.

[surferjet]

Op: unless your dc join a gang then they’re just as safe in London as anywhere.
It’s the ‘gang culture’ that have the vast majority of murders in London.
But if you’re also worrying about getting mugged & general other crimes, yes, you’re more likely to be a victim living in a big city.

[LaurG]

No! I am pregnant and also live in London. People (family I should say) have started to ask when I will be returning home. They see London as some sort of overpriced, dangerous hell hole for kids. Plus we live in a flat which isn’t how my parents saw their grandchildren being brought up.

But I live in s lovely area with great schools. There is a huge park at the bottom of my street. There’s so much to do for free that’s good for me and the baby. It’s a stimulating place to live with people from all over the world and I think a fantastic place to grow up.

Crime happens everywhere. It’s just as bad if not worse in other big cities.

The only reason I would leave is because we ge priced out. Money is an issue here.

[MojoMoon]

Crime happens everywhere.
Teens in rural areas drink and take drugs too. Possibly drink even more than city kids - not much else to do! Studies show teens are drinking less and taking fewer drugs than they did a generation ago particularly in cities.

Assuming your kids are unlikely to get involved in gangs or gang cultures, then their chance of getting murdered is no different from a teen in a dormitory town. There was one horrible murder a few years ago of a lovely girl very near me who got accidentally caught in some cross fire while in a takeaway but that is like being struck by lightning.

I grew up in London, it was great as a teen. Almost any sport or activity is available to you somewhere and you can get there yourself. Friends and I did climbing, horse riding, BMX ing, music groups etc and could get ourselves there and back.
We used to hang out in the south bank or tate modern aged 14 rather than a shopping centre. It was free and there was always something going on to see/watch. I still don't get modern art but I've seen a lot of and still enjoy excellent modern dance and circus stuff!

Plus London state schools on average outperform many other areas.

[namechangealerttt]

OP, you come across a bit smug and self satisfied. There are a lot of people with kids that move out of London, but would love to stay, because they do not have a secure affordable tenancy let alone a comfortable 4 bed house. Some people are not in a catchment of any local school let alone a good one. YANBU for staying in London, but don't expect a bravery medal. You sound like you have a decent set up. Kate and Wills are bringing up 3 kids in London too. I don't actually know anyone that moved out of London with kids due to crime, I know a number that left with a heavy heart forced out for financial reasons.

[TammyWhyNot]

I have teens and we live in a notorious S London postcode. It is sickening when something happens and one fatal stabbing in the last 6 months was very ‘close’ to us by location and connection. (Same school).

And yet my kids have no connection to any of this, and are no more at risk of the other ‘random’ crime than they would be if they lived in other parts of the country.

Well-peopled streets, a busy and comprehensive public transport system give them a huge safety and independence. They go all over the place, taking advantage of museums, talks, free music events all over London. They find it easy to see friends without needing a lift. They can join music, dance and theatre projects run by famous national artists (usually for free or v modest cost), they can volunteer at city farms...

They are in good state schools, and walking distance means everyone knows everyone. I recognise teens on the street from when I was at the Primary school gate. This creates both community and surveillance.

It is a great life for those of us SO lucky enough to have bought or secured social housing tenancies before the great price rises.

People like to validate their own choices by persuading others to do likewise.

If you are happy, settled and thriving, why worry what they think?

[Fridasfridgefreezer]

I also live in London. (Scene of two recent shootings). I fully intend to stay here with my three children as we are settled. If you’re happy, ignore those people.

[TammyWhyNot]

The pollution worries me though.

[flowerslemonade]

You sound happy there, good for you. OF course you should stay if you're happy.

[Jaylabelle]

Personally, I think I have the best of both worlds - we moved out of London to a small town, but it takes only 30 minutes on the train to get to central London.

So we have London accessible to us, but equally we can cycle for 5 minutes and then be surrounded by fields and woods.

And the air quality is so much better - you don't realise how bad it is in London until you leave and then come back. It really is disgusting. Plus zero crime rates.

But that was my family's decision, it might not be right for you.

[TabbyTigger]

We live in zone 2, I have 6 children aged between 18 and 1 month. We’ve lived here for 15 years and I can’t imagine living anywhere else. It’s been, and will continue to be, the perfect place for my family. If it works for you, don’t give it up!

[marchin1984]

Even with the recent spate of knife attacks, London is very safe for a city its size.

[DairyisClosed]

If you actually like living in London you are unlikely to like living in most other places. Most people move because London is so horrible but if you like it then I don't think that the crime should put you off. It was the last thing to put me off when I lived there. I would seriously Co side moving into a smaller house/flat as children get older though. I wouldn't want my teenahed children living in a high crime area.

[DairyisClosed]

Smaller house in a nicer part was what I meant. Not just smaller.

[fontofnoknowledge]

I live in rural East Sussex 1 hr from London. There isn't enough money in the world that would induce me to live there. Working there is bad enough. My children would be devastated to give up their animals, riding, country walks, camping in local woods.

In the exact same way that you would probably hate our life.

There is no right or wrong. You are either a town or a country person. Both have their benefits. I just prefer mine.

[manicinsomniac]

You live in a 4 bed house with a garden in London with access to good state schools and you're happy. Why on earth would you give that up?!

You aren't any more at risk of gun and knife crime than affluent families living in nice areas in any big town or city, I don't imagine. And tragedies can happen anywhere.

It is my absolute dream to live in London and have the money to make the most of what the city can offer children, teens and adults. But it won't happen.

YANBU to stay!

[formerbabe]

I feel the same as you op. Maybe if I didn't have a home with enough space I'd be tempted to move out but luckily we have a reasonably large house by London standards. Like you, we have lovely parks near us. Plenty of cinemas, shops, museums etc. I love it. I also agree it's great to be a teenager in London. Good transport and plenty to do. Yanbu!

[MissCharleyP]

No, as there is so much more opportunity there. I lived around (Herts, Kent, Beds) and worked in London for five years. Last year both of us were made redundant and moved back to my hometown as we cold afford a house without a mortgage, had we stayed then a 2-bed flat was the best we cold have done. However, I've been unemployed since August (had a p/t job at Xmas) and wish we'd stayed. There are no jobs here (well, no decent paying ones anyway), public transport isn't great (more expensive and doesn't run as late - my local station has no service after 1900 and nothing on Sundays) and there's just less to do. I used to love going into London on my days off, visited so many different areas (not just touristy bits) and occasionally would go further afield to the coast. I really, really, really miss it and I'm trapped now as I'll never be able to afford to move back :(

[Londonwriter]

My husband was brought up in London (in an area that was dodgy at that time), as was his father before him. We are lucky enough to have a home in Zone 2/3 and intend to bring up our DS here.

In contrast, I was brought up in a village of 1,000 people in open countryside with a bus every two hours. It was utterly miserable. It took all day to get anywhere by public transport and, otherwise, I relied on my mum to act as a chauffeur service. There was nothing to do apart from walk across muddy fields. I wouldn't inflict that on my poor DS if I had any chance of avoiding it. Bringing up kids in rural areas is always portrayed as this romantic, wonderful experience, but the reality is not as great as it's cracked up to be.

[RoadToRivendell]

My youngest finishes primary in 1.25 years, then we're off to the countryside.

I could cry just writing this, but I can no longer face how dreadfully ASBO London is in the warmer months.

[HateTheDF]

OP I live in London and there have been two knife crimes that made the news near me recently.

My DP and I don't have children but will want to start soon and the same thing has crossed our minds. I don't want to move and we've decided not too. We moved to London 6 years ago and fell in love with it and would want our children to have the same experiences we have been having.