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AIBU?

Should adult children pay ‘rent’ if living with parents?

341 replies

Twist89 · 23/04/2018 20:55

When I got a full time job and was living at home I was expected to give my parents money towards bills. Not a huge amount, and way less than I now spend in private renting.

But I’ve come across people who say their parents never made them do that, and others who say they don’t make their 20+ year old children pay anything. Some of these have kids living with them earning around £25k and they still pay nothing.

I find this quite shocking - AIBU?

OP posts:
FissionChips · 23/04/2018 20:57

Those people can probably afford to not charge rent.

LovelySouffle · 23/04/2018 20:57

Depends.

HTH.

YouTheCat · 23/04/2018 20:57

My 23 year old pays me some money from her student finance. Once she gets a job, she'll pay some from her earnings and probably save most so she can buy a house. I can't afford to give her money for a deposit, so hopefully, this will help a bit.

ButchyRestingFace · 23/04/2018 21:00

But I’ve come across people who say their parents never made them do that, and others who say they don’t make their 20+ year old children pay anything. Some of these have kids living with them earning around £25k and they still pay nothing.

I would expect a contribution towards utilities or the food shop. But if the parents can afford not to ask for rent - i.e., perhaps they've paid off the mortgage - then I can well understand not asking the kids for rent and telling them to save the money towards the cost of a house deposit instead.

Everyone's circumstances are different.

notacooldad · 23/04/2018 21:00

We don't charge Ds1 "rent"
He's only on about £18,500 and 22
It's not like we are out of pocket with him being here.

BMW6 · 23/04/2018 21:01

Yes, absolutely.
Children should be taught budgeting by their parents. Paying board is part of that valuable life skill.

Justanotherzombie · 23/04/2018 21:02

I wouldn’t chatge my kids but I also wouldn’t expect them to be living at home at 25.

LVXiii · 23/04/2018 21:04

I think if you don't have a mortgage and are basically just making a profit from your kids living with you, that's a bit crap. A contribution towards expenses would be different.

ItsASairFecht · 23/04/2018 21:04

Yes, they should contribute. They won't get free rent, food etc anywhere else. Being a loving and supportive parent doesn't mean bankrolling your children indefinitely.

immortalmarble · 23/04/2018 21:04

I wouldn’t want mine to pay rent, it’s their home.

Idontdowindows · 23/04/2018 21:04

My mum did, but she put it all in a savings account for me. So I did the same for mine. :)

Waggingmyginger · 23/04/2018 21:04

My parents did. They could afford not to, but they saw it as their responsibility for learning to live on my own.
They charged 50% of my take home wage up to market rate.

QueenofmyPrinces · 23/04/2018 21:05

I used to know a guy who was 30, earned about £30k and still lived at home Grin

I had to pay my dad rent even when I was a student at Uni.

My bursary was about £230 a month and £150 of it went to my dad. My dad earned well over £45k but saw no problem in taking money off me Hmm

Ivgotasecretcanyoukeepit · 23/04/2018 21:07

YABU. I couldn’t imagine ever charging my children to pay ‘rent’ in their family home. My parents never asked it of my siblings and I.

notacooldad · 23/04/2018 21:07

*
Yes, absolutely
Children should be taught budgeting by their parents. Paying board is part of that valuable life skill

There's plenty of ways to teach them budgeting apart from charging 'rent' There are plenty of life skills to learn and I think my lads have.(they are not children anymore but adults)
I don't need the money from them. As payback I have told them I'm not paying when im old and have to live with them!!!

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 23/04/2018 21:07

Mine won't pay rent either, they will always have a home with us.

It seems mercenary to charge children to live at home.

NewYearNewMe18 · 23/04/2018 21:08

Is this thread on the back of the Daily Mail article last week which was n the back of multiple MN threads that week ?

notacooldad · 23/04/2018 21:09

I take the view each family should do what works for them.

Ellapaella · 23/04/2018 21:09

I wouldn't charge rent but would ask them to contribute towards food and bills.

Athrawes · 23/04/2018 21:10

I wouldn’t charge actual rent, but would expect them to pay their share of food, utilities, cleaner etc.

ilovesooty · 23/04/2018 21:11

I think they should make an appropriate contribution to food, utilities and chores.

wowfudge · 23/04/2018 21:12

We paid a third of our wages once we were earning from full time employment. My parents didn't have to have me at home - it was their home they paid for after all. Once I had a stable job, I rented a flat with a friend. I wanted my freedom after having been away at uni for four years.

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EmmaGrundyForPM · 23/04/2018 21:12

We charged our 21 year old money to cover food/expenses. £45 per week. That included use of a car (insurance alone was £850 per year). He earns £23k per year. We felt that was fair.

livingontheedgeee · 23/04/2018 21:12

It's not about the "rent", it's about respect for your parents.

If you are earning a decent salary and still live at home then you should contribute something.

I didn't pay a fixed amount to my parents for the time I lived at home in between jobs but I did buy the weekly food shop and make the majority of our meals.

I certainly wouldn't charge my child if they were a student or earning a pittance in a part-time job. My DD is away at university so I help her with finances but when she's home, she goes back to her part-time job and will always treat me to a nice meal or afternoon tea because she appreciates everything I do for her when she doesn't have any money.

catinapoolofsunshine · 23/04/2018 21:13

"I wouldn't want them to pay rent, it's their home" is hilarious. Most adults under 45/50 (and many life long) pay rent or mortgage payments every month - does that make their home not their home?
Unless you'd be happy for your adult child to sell your house to buy themselves something they prefer it's not really theirs any more than the house or flat any adult paying rent.

Paying rent and it being home are not mutually exclusive!

My answer is yes if they leave full time education.

As long as they are in full time education and under about 23 then I wouldn't want them to give us money out of part time job wages or student loans. However if they leave school they pay 1/5 of the rent as a minimum, their share of bills and food once they can afford to. Anything else is taking the piss and treating adults as children.

Our kids are still at school but know they can live with us as long as they like but that adults pay their way as above. I'm not bringing up perpetual infants.

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