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DP's Stag Do

(13 Posts)
ThereIsAlwaysDrama Mon 23-Apr-18 19:15:58

NC as this is outing and long so I do apologise in advance!

We're getting married soon (yay) but DP is feeling like shit over his stag do.

Backstory: MIL and FIL are separated. FIL left MIL when DP was a young boy and moved away. FIL returned a few years later and remarried. He married DP's best friend's mum. So DP's best friend also became his step brother as well as other step siblings.

FIL left his wife a couple of months ago for another woman (was having an affair for a year) causing a lot of upset obviously.

Now: DP's best friend/step brother is his best man and organising the stag do. It's DP and his 2 DBs, cousin, friend and 2 step brothers going. A young lads night out. DP has said to his DF that he doesn't want him to come. This is because he'd feel on edge all night incase anything kicked off. At the end of the day FIL cheated on the best man's mum so adding alcohol to the mix, it might not end well.

FIL seemed to take this well and DP is going to go for a few drinks with him and his grandfather another time before the wedding. Tbf the best man and his brother said they had no problem with FIL going but DP would rather not be on edge all night.

MIL (why its her business I dont know) has phoned DP this evening saying how upset FIL is. How DP is putting his step family before blood etc. I've reassured DP this isn't the case. Apparently they should all just get over it, easier said than done when alcohol is involved.

Was DP BU not to invite his DF? I don't think he is but after speaking to his mum he's really upset and doubting himself angry

Nanny0gg Mon 23-Apr-18 19:18:42

He's absolutely doing the right thing and why on earth does she care?

PretABoire Mon 23-Apr-18 19:20:28

What does it have to do with his mother?

ThereIsAlwaysDrama Mon 23-Apr-18 19:20:54

Exactly that's what I've told him. She has form for interfering!

Chillyegg Mon 23-Apr-18 19:21:04

I think your DP is absolutely doing the right thing! It seems your MIL is not only a meddling nitwit clearly she has some weird insecurity about her son prioritiseing another “mums” family feelings over her own. YANBU at all and your FIL sounds like an absolute nightmares .

HollowTalk Mon 23-Apr-18 19:21:23

It was "his blood" that gave him a step family, ffs. His father should have thought of the consequences of his actions. Tough shit now.

Scribblegirl Mon 23-Apr-18 19:23:12

No advice but following. DPs stag is in a couple of months and all the male inlaws are trying to get in sad

expatinscotland Mon 23-Apr-18 19:23:39

He needs to tell her to sling her hook.

Scribblegirl Mon 23-Apr-18 19:23:40

Sorry - caveat - not great relationships there either.

Returnofthesmileybar Mon 23-Apr-18 19:24:18

Tell mil to do one, your dp nbu

ferrier Mon 23-Apr-18 19:25:19

I've never understood inviting parents to stag and hen dos so your dp is being perfectly reasonable to invite his stepbrothers and not his father.

Idontbelieveinthemoon Mon 23-Apr-18 19:25:53

It's nothing to do with anyone but your DP and his Dad. If they're adult enough to come to a compromise then it's of no concern to MIL. Ignore her and if she persists in getting involved, show her this thread.

Smeddum Mon 23-Apr-18 19:27:29

I think your DP has done the decent thing and that his father has a bloody cheek whinging to anyone about anything after his disgusting behaviour.

Not quite sure why his Mum got involved? She should be told to keep her nose out.

And as for “just get over it”, it’s funny how it’s always the dickhead who caused the pain in the first place that is usually the one shouting this the loudest!

Hopefully they all behave in the run up to the wedding.

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