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To be upset about this wedding...

(149 Posts)
TheWeddingSeason Mon 23-Apr-18 16:32:52

I'm a long time member but name changed as I'm fairly sure parties involved are on here...

So DH has a friend who is getting married soon.

He told my DH that our DS was invited.

Now we have received the official invite and it says kids can't be accommodated (except family - the bride and groom have 3 kids!)

It's not close to where we live so would have to stay overnight and I have never been away from DS that long & I have anxiety disorder so would only fret so I don't want to go now.

DH is upset with me.
I am upset with his friends.

Who is bu?

BritInUS1 Mon 23-Apr-18 16:34:39

How old is DS?
Have you got someone that can look after them?

PotteringAlong Mon 23-Apr-18 16:34:53

You are.

Trinity66 Mon 23-Apr-18 16:35:31

What age is your son? I think YABU though, it's only one night

NerrSnerr Mon 23-Apr-18 16:36:21

It’s their choice if they want children at their wedding. It’s your choice if you want to go. No one is being unreasonable.

kissthealderman Mon 23-Apr-18 16:37:04

DH friend shouldn't have suggested DS may be invited if he then wasn't. That's a bit annoying, but doesn't change the situation.

It's their wedding and their choice to not invite children, very common these days to have immediate family only.

You either decline the invite, DH goes alone, or you and DH go and get a babysitter.

PinkSkyAtNightAngelDelight Mon 23-Apr-18 16:37:08

How old is DS?

Dozer Mon 23-Apr-18 16:38:07

How old is DS, how far away (time and distance) is the wedding, and what are the childcare options?

PortiaFinis Mon 23-Apr-18 16:38:12

It’s up to them who they invite to their wedding. If you don’t want to leave your child that long then don’t go - or see if you can get someone to look after your child at the hotel you are staying in.

Some people love having children at their wedding and others don’t. It must have been a bit disappointing if you thought that you would be able to take him but it is their choice and I don’t think you should get too upset about it.

MrsHathaway Mon 23-Apr-18 16:38:23

Nobody unreasonable. Just unfortunate.

As DS gets older he will be easier to leave. At that stage, resist using him as an excuse to avoid social gatherings and other events that you'll actually enjoy and/or benefit from.

TheWeddingSeason Mon 23-Apr-18 16:38:42

DS is only 2. He's only stayed overnight somewhere else once and we dropped him off at bedtime and we were back for breakfast.

I wouldn't have agreed to go in the first place had the groom not told my DH our DS was invited as well.

Dozer Mon 23-Apr-18 16:39:11

YABU to be upset with the friends: they may have initially said DC were invited but on reflection decided against it, which is fine as it’s their wedding.

elQuintoConyo Mon 23-Apr-18 16:39:21

So DH goes alone.

TheWeddingSeason Mon 23-Apr-18 16:39:38

Also it's not a child free wedding as their kids will be there and so will their nieces / nephews.

TomRavenscroft Mon 23-Apr-18 16:39:41

I'd be upset too, not at it being child-free per se but at being told the DS was invited and then that changing.

Dozer Mon 23-Apr-18 16:40:00

How far away is the wedding, and what are the childcare options?

NerrSnerr Mon 23-Apr-18 16:40:04

If you don’t feel comfortable leaving him then don’t. It’s your husband’s friends wedding so just send your husband.

kissthealderman Mon 23-Apr-18 16:40:27

Ah, he's 2, he'll be fine being left for a night. He's not a newborn.

Up to you though, if you don't want to leave him then don't go and let DH go alone. No other choice really if you don't want to go without DS.

(Please don't be one of those people asking if their child can go when it's no children but family).

FuzzyCustard Mon 23-Apr-18 16:41:18

Agree that no-one is being unreasonable. It's all down to personal preferences.
We had a declined invitation fro our wedding because the parents couldn't find a sitter...for their 16 year old! Now that is some excuse!

Dozer Mon 23-Apr-18 16:41:18

YABU to object to specific DC being invited: again, that’s the couple’s prerogative. Big difference between just a few DC of closest friends/ relatives and loads of DC of guests.

Babyplaymat Mon 23-Apr-18 16:41:19

It's annoying that it has changed but they're not being unreasonable. Likewise you're not if you don't want to leave him, but you don't have the right to be cross with anyone about it as they're not wrong.

Amaried Mon 23-Apr-18 16:41:27

Honestly lots of couples have family kids only at their wedding. It's not a Summons, just don't go if you don't want to leave him.
Not sure there is a need for drama.

SomeKnobend Mon 23-Apr-18 16:41:28

Just don't go, Yanbu. There was a woman on This Morning who's spent thousands on attending weddings. I'm gobsmacked people go tbh when you have to spend so much on travel, hotel, 24hrs or more of childcare, gifts and all the rest. Weddings are fucking expensive to attend, if you're not going to enjoy it because your ds isn't there, then just don't go!

AllTheUserNamesAreTaken Mon 23-Apr-18 16:41:43

If you've only just received the invitation then you haven't already agreed to go. Now you know DS isn't invited, just decide whether you want to go or not.

user1483387154 Mon 23-Apr-18 16:42:27

YABU it is irrelevant whether children of their family members are there or not.

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