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AIBU?

To not give ball back until his mum comes round

74 replies

NumberFrame · 22/04/2018 10:18

Neighbour problems-
Have discussed this before but in a nutshell a few of neighbours dcs but one in particular decided the perfect place to play football was again msg the side of my house 😡
Anyway for weeks I asked them nicely please don’t do that find somewhere else to play. Until I one time the boy kicked it against the house and I opened the window and said ‘don’t let that ball touch this house again’ he looked me in the eye and booted it against the wall.
Obviously I went straight round and spoke to his mum and told her to not let it happen again.
Yesterday we were in the garden with friends and the boy came and shouted over ‘I’m really sorry but I kicked my ball into your garden earlier can I have it back’
I’ve not gave it back I think his mum needs to come and apologise that he’s obviously not listening and still balling ball against my house still.

OP posts:

Report

bonbonlavie · 22/04/2018 10:19

Don’t give the ball back.

I can understand if they’re playing in their garden and it’s a mistake but it sounds like total defiance on the boy’s part when kicking the ball against your house.

insancerre · 22/04/2018 10:22

Don't give the little sh1t his ball back

ZanyMobster · 22/04/2018 10:23

Did he kick the ball over when kicking it against the side of the house? If so you YANBU and I don't think you should give it back till he knocks the door to ask for it. Not sure about the mum apologising although maybe you can say he can have it back if his mum comes to ask for it, then explain nicely why it is an issue him kicking against the wall etc.

If he was playing in his garden when he did it then YABU.

ZanyMobster · 22/04/2018 10:23

When I say 'nicely' I probably mean passive aggressively

NumberFrame · 22/04/2018 10:24

He would have been in the street playing not in his garden

OP posts:

twinkletoedelephant · 22/04/2018 10:27

My mum lived next to a small play area and use to say kids could have ball back when a parent knocked and asked for it......

She use to get far less balls over her fence when the parents were having to stop what they were doing and come and ask for it ;)

Did get a lot of abuse, but most kind of saw her point

siblingrevelryagain · 22/04/2018 10:30

Just be careful this doesn’t escalate into full on neighbour wars-most come from small misunderstandings that blow up out of proportion.

People will no doubt jump in and say “why should the op have to”, but my suggestion would be for you to take the ball round, speak to the parents and nip it in the bud. This might ensure good relations going forward.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 22/04/2018 10:30

If he was actively not booting the ball against your house, I think you should give it back.

If he was booting it against your house, I think you should puncture it.

WhatsGoingOnEh · 22/04/2018 10:33

Well no, not puncture it. But don't give it back.

Not getting the ball back is a natural consequence of the boy's kicking it against your house - something you have clearly asked/told him not to do for AGES.

Feeling this consequence is the best way of getting him to change his behaviour. He won't do it again if he loses a ball.

RestingBitchFaced · 22/04/2018 10:33

Has it happened again since you spoke to the mum? If not, just give him the ball back

LakieLady · 22/04/2018 10:34

I'd do it. And I'd puncture it and tell them your friend was visiting with her dog, and the dog got it.

I was nearly driven mad two summers running by the girl next door and her mate who used to stand outside next door bouncing a ball on the pavement for hours (literally hours - they'd start before seven and go in just before 10). They should have been on the "at risk" register, I was likely to kill the pair of them!

If I was looking for a house now, I'd be asking lots of questions about the ages of neighbouring children and I wouldn't buy a house within 100 yards of one with a basketball hoop on the garage door!

ZanyMobster · 22/04/2018 10:34

If he was just playing in the street I think you should just give it back, if he was kicking it against the wall then no

MadMags · 22/04/2018 10:35

I’m confused. Was he playing against your house again?

Aprilmightbemynewname · 22/04/2018 10:35

Deflate it and return. Every time.

Tomboytown · 22/04/2018 10:37

Oh just give it back

BillywilliamV · 22/04/2018 10:38

life's too bloody short, give the ball back

purplelila2 · 22/04/2018 10:39

WhatsGoingOnEh you can't puncture his ball!!

Op to be playing ball games on a public highway is illegal so that child shouldn't be there.

I wouldn't give the ball back id leave it there.

I was in a similar position to you OP my garden fence and side of my house are next to a communal car park. I'd have the neighbour opposites kids playing ball games against my fence . I asked them and their mother for it to stop but she got really arsey with me.

I didn't want their ball damaging my fence or going through my conservatory roof! Not to mention people's cars parked there.

There are plenty of green spaces where they could have played too.

She was really rude to me but they ended up moving a couple of years later.

NumberFrame · 22/04/2018 10:39

I don’t know if he was actively kicking it against the house the first I knew was when he asked for the ball back iyswim but he must have been playing next to my house for it come over the wall.
Anyway relations are strained between me and his mother since I went round and told her to sort his behaviour out.
The only thing that worries me slightly is aggravating him as he’s at my eldest school although he’s last year and she’s just started so wouldn’t want him to be nasty to her at school.

OP posts:

Flutterbyeee · 22/04/2018 10:40

Are you for rek? Children have no concept of boundaries. That is why they barge into the toilet when you are in the bath/on the loo/shaving legs/removing moo muff.

Flutist · 22/04/2018 10:47

YANBU. He will soon be told to stop kicking the ball when his mum has to keep coming to get it back. Does she know he was rude to you? I'd appreciate being told if my DS had done that because he would get in trouble for not respecting adults.

Lacucuracha · 22/04/2018 10:49

I sympathise OP, the neighbour's kid wrecked my mum's fence with their football. We told them they have to replace the fence.

Definiteky keep the ball.

Penfold007 · 22/04/2018 10:49

Is it really worth the aggravation? Just give him his ball back

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ReanimatedSGB · 22/04/2018 10:50

FFS. Do you want to spend the rest of your life being 'that' neighbour? Give the kid his ball back and stop whining.

Tistheseason17 · 22/04/2018 10:52

I would not give it back unless mum came round - and if she spoke to me in a shitty way, she would not get it either. But, then I'm a bit like that when people are arseholes.

Mrsmadevans · 22/04/2018 10:53

Give him the bloody ball back OP.
I know it's annoying but he is only playing footie , this stage will pass very quickly and then he will be off doing other stuff and leaving you alone. I doubt very much he will try being horrible to your DD.

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