Hi All
My oldest DD has lived abroad for approximately eight years now. She married a Latvian man just after she graduated from university and he persuaded her to move there with him. At first she'd come back every Christmas and at regular intervals throughout the year, but five years ago she just stopped. She said that she'd rather spend Christmas with her new family, which I understood although the Christmas table always feels so empty without her. But she has stopped visiting at all and hasn't been back for five years. My mum, her gran, is getting on a bit and isn't really well enough to travel anymore and misses her terribly. We visit her every year and last year I took my mum to see her and it broke my heart to have my mum tell me on the plane back "I'll probably never see DD again".
I try to discuss it with DD and tell her everyone is dying to see her but she refuses to discuss it. We speak on Skype at least twice a week and we're ever so close and she always tells me she loves me but whenever I ask her to visit she just says "I'm not ready" and shuts me down completely. She is very happy with her husband who is a lovely man and her new home but I can't fathom why she's staying away and doesn't even want to come over for the weekend. Money isn't the issue because she's quite comfortable and I've even offered to buy her plane tickets as a birthday present. She did have a very happy life here but I don't understand why she's turned her back on it all. She hinted that she may come back this year but has now changed her mind and just says "It's not the right time". I was ever so looking forward to going to meet her at the airport.
Am I being unreasonable for getting so upset about this? We put the things she left behind (mainly books and music) in the loft the other week to finally redecorate her bedroom and it was devastating.
names edited out by MNHQ
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Daughter never visits me
49 replies
ElizaJessie · 22/04/2018 00:27
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