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AIBU to think that people who post on a thread without reading the OP are arrogant?

(69 Posts)
Tankersome Sat 21-Apr-18 20:54:34

... as are those who post on a multi-page thread without at least reading the OP's updates.

Not a thread about a thread BUT definitely inspired by my frustration over years of posting on here (under various names) where I've seen this happen.

Sooooooo many posters will not take the time to either read and comprehend an OP but decide to post their opinion anyway (based on what they simply believe the OP to be about). Or they will come on to a ten-page thread and post something in direct response to the initial post, not even bothering to use their common sense and realise that it's quite likely the conversation has moved on a bit.

Fair enough, people don't have the time to read loads and loads of posts. But why the hell would you take the time to respond in the first place when you haven't at least read what the OP has posted???

Absolutely drives me bonkers how arrogant some people can be. They will speak their opinion regardless of whether or not it is relevant.

EventNotInData Sat 21-Apr-18 20:58:34

I know what you mean. It’s the people who post 500 posts in to say “cancel the cheque” or whatever because they think that none of the previous 498 posters can possibly have come up with this brilliant insight.

PurpleDaisies Sat 21-Apr-18 20:59:45

It’s a pet hate of mine too.

Tankersome Sun 22-Apr-18 11:30:53

Have no idea how these people function in every day conversations.

Have no idea if these people even know how to communicate in everyday interactions.

Almost every thread I have posted on over the years, there is a good number of people who deem it their right to spout their opinion on something they don't quite understand or can't be bothered to read any updates from the original poster.

It's actually completely ruining Mumsnet for me. I'd never be so self-absorbed to behave in this way even on an internet forum.

HollowTalk Sun 22-Apr-18 11:34:20

I've just read one thread where the OP says, "We've been together three years and I have a five year old child..." and then a number of posters start shrieking, "He had a child with you..." I don't think some read beyond the heading.

But the ones I really dislike are those who say, "I came on here to say you were unreasonable..." - they'd clearly only read the heading, formed an opinion and rushed in to tell the poster off.

QuinionsRainbow Sun 22-Apr-18 11:41:56

Possibly irrelevant (although I HAVE read the OP, and the rest of the thread as well), but I have always felt that a proper threaded discussion structure, where one can respond directly to a post half-way down, or wherever, would be better than the present 'flat' arangement.

MyRelationshipIsWeird Sun 22-Apr-18 11:42:15

Yes and the worst ones where the title asks about a health issue, people pile in at the end of 10 pages without reading updates, saying it’s probably nothing to worry about, meanwhile the OP has been diagnosed and is coming to terms with their illness.

Insensitive at best, downright lazy at worst. I’m not sure I’d say arrogant in most cases, but sometimes yes, thinking they are the only one who can possible have had that same thought. Even on threads like the one line of poetry thread, I read it all before adding mine, in case it had been mentioned several times already, as I didn’t want to be so unoriginal without acknowledging that!

Tankersome Sun 22-Apr-18 11:42:23

I read that post, too Hollow

It was blatantly obvious the age of the child exceeded the length of her relationship. Why? Because she said so. With actual words.

How on earth could that be misunderstood by anybody unless they really didn't know that three was smaller than five? In which case, how do they manage to do other basic things in life like buy a carton of milk?

What is it?


Lack of imagination?


I'd really love it if somebody guilty of doing this would come and enlighten us to their rationale.

Tankersome Sun 22-Apr-18 11:44:23

You'd have to be a downright fool to behave in this manner on a long-running health-related thread.

OneNameToRuleThemAll Sun 22-Apr-18 11:45:05

I post very rarely because anything I would say has already been said. I don't feel the need to inflict my opinions on others ad nauseam.

SaucyJane Sun 22-Apr-18 11:47:04

I think people just get over excited to have their say.

I get annoyed by people falling for the Piss Troll - yes troll hunting is fucking annoying, but that dude has some very worrying issues around children and piss and punishments, and by the time the millionth thread has been zapped, he/she has already got plenty of wank fodder angry. How hard is it to do a quick advanced search before pouring out details about your/your young child's toilet habits?!

T1M2N3T4 Sun 22-Apr-18 11:48:03

Some threads are such a massive dripfeed though. I've often wanted to add my 2 pence worth but it's been at 10 pages with the op added details that are relevant and I read the first few drips then lose interest and shuffle off to find another

LineyHasntLeftTheBuilding Sun 22-Apr-18 11:49:29

It is a rule of Mumsnet that in any thread where the age of a child or children is clearly mentioned in the actual thread title or the OP, a poster will ask early doors, 'How old are the DC?'

Maybe it's just ingrained habit.

IntoTheFloodAgain Sun 22-Apr-18 11:50:37

Oh god, I read a thread the other day that went something like:

OP: Issue related to finances. DC aged 3 and 7, he pays the mortgage, I pay this bill. (This was around the second paragraph)

Literally the second poster: What’s your living situation? Rent or mortgage? Any dc?

I’m pretty sure it was a regular poster, so don’t think they were taking the piss.

I get very tempted to reply to these people with the answers, but I know I’m not being very helpful to the OP as I cant give any advice myself.

CheeseyToast Sun 22-Apr-18 11:52:54

Not sure that it's arrogance so much as ignorance. Comprehension is not a strong point in MN talk.

Lacucuracha Sun 22-Apr-18 11:54:47

I post very rarely because anything I would say has already been said. I don't feel the need to inflict my opinions on others ad nauseam.

I do wonder why people bother posting the same thing as a hundred others, unless it's just a way of placemarking.

It also annoys me when I've seen someone make a great point/ suggestion and then someone else makes a similar suggestion without acknowledging that a PP had made that point too. I know they may have not read the thread but it is annoying.

AuntieStella Sun 22-Apr-18 11:57:25

Any poster can bog up the reading of a thread from time to time.

I do think that as the norm people should read first page, most recent posts towards the end and updates from OP.

I agree it's very self-centred to jump in without checking - I remember TwitterQueen's ovarian cancer thread where people still jumped in with a response to title/symptoms, missing that she's had a cancer DX so weight loss tips and/or menopause advice were seriously misplaced at that point.

And it takes a special sort of arrogance to begin your post with 'I haven't RTFT'

HateSummer Sun 22-Apr-18 11:57:39

What do you suggest we do about this problem? I want a plan of action.

lidoshuffle Sun 22-Apr-18 12:00:48

And the "don't want to read an run"s. Often followed by a fulsome comment anyway. Why comment just to say you haven't got time to comment?

RoseAndRose Sun 22-Apr-18 12:00:58

If you want a plan, suggest one!

EveningHare Sun 22-Apr-18 12:04:49

I have the op highlighted and will sometimes scroll through large threads, so sometime miss other updates but always try and read the Op posts

Tankersome Sun 22-Apr-18 12:05:58

Oh god. Poor TwitterQueen. I hope at least those guilty posters have learnt a hard lesson and know better going forwards.

Plan of action?

Make it automatic that the OP's posts are highlighted in some way?

On a multi-page thread, at the bottom where you go to write a new message, it could say in BOLD something like "The OP has posted ten updates since the original post" to better inform those lacking in common sense that the conversation might have moved on a little bit.

A final resort would be that posters need to pass a basic comprehension test before gaining posting rights on Mumsnet? Sort of just joking

Ariela Sun 22-Apr-18 12:10:04

Actually what they might be doing is this:
Open a load of posts and read through one at a time. Get interrrupted, go back to it later , add my comment, which appears long after 500 people have said the same thing

TheElementsSong Sun 22-Apr-18 12:11:31

It's not that difficult to highlight the OP's posts is it? I have it set up on my laptop and my phone. Also I wonder why we are able to post from any page, other fora I'm on only show the posting box right at the end of the thread.

I saw a parking thread yesterday complete with diagram clearly showing a dropped kerb, and the very first reply was "is there a dropped kerb?" grin

IntoTheFloodAgain Sun 22-Apr-18 12:12:19

I don’t think there’s much you can do really.

The only option is to make it part of the talk guidelines, but this then means that posters who are genuinely trying to be helpful but just make a mistake could get penalised (or if they don’t want to sit through pages and pages of ‘he’s a knob op get rid’ and do have something valuable to add)

I agree with a pp, at least people should read the first and last page.

Actually, it might be nice to have a ‘collapse/expand’ option, to show either only OPs updates or the full thread, especially on the threads which have descended into ‘cancel the cheque’. But I don’t think that would make a difference to those who only seem to read the thread title and nothing else.

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