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To be annoyed by judgement when giving my son “junk food” that he needs?

(98 Posts)
TammySwansonTwo Sat 21-Apr-18 17:56:23

One of my boys has a medical condition that causes dangerously low blood sugar. If I’m at home I have prescription methods for treating this but its a faff, requires mixing etc.

If we are out and he starts showing symptoms, I tend to give whatever I can pick up from a corner shop which could be full sugar premixed Ribena if they have it (but Ribena are pulling full sugar versions), a couple of sweets, lemonade or coke, followed by some carbs like breadsticks, until I can get him home and manage it more effectively.

I’ve only had to do this a handful of times and every single time without fail I have people tutting, staring or making audible comments. He’s small for his age so looks probably about 12-13 months old when he’s actually 18 months old. Obviously I wouldn’t normally give these things to a child of that age but needs must.

Part of me wants to explain to these judgemental people that the sugar is protecting him from potential brain damage but frankly my son’s medical issues are his business, not theirs.

AIBU to think it should occur to people that there may be a reason for it, or is it not something that would normally cross people’s minds?

stopfuckingshoutingatme Sat 21-Apr-18 17:58:53

Who are these people ? Do you live in Tunbridge Wells or something smile

That said if I were you I would ensure I leave the house with these snacks to hand always / will make life easier ?

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Sat 21-Apr-18 18:00:29

I can imagine some people would stare, alright... but do they really make audible comments?

MothertotheLordsofmisrule Sat 21-Apr-18 18:03:55

TBH I wouldn't even notice as it's not my kid.

My friends son is diabetic and in case of low blood sugar carries round drinks or glucose tablets.
Haven't yet encountered a tutting busybody.

ihearttc Sat 21-Apr-18 18:06:18

We had first aid training last week (Im a TA) and they were talking about glucose gels in a tube that diabetics carry around with them. I wonder if something like that might be useful to have as well?

TammySwansonTwo Sat 21-Apr-18 18:06:40

Like I say, I’ve only had to do it a few times, twice on a bus - the last time it happened an older lady turned to her partner and said “no wonder kids are fat these days”.

I’ve started carrying an opaque cup with Ribena in it now just in case - much better than having to crack open a can of coke or feed him jelly babies which is what I’ve had to do the other times. But it’s very possible there’ll be times I have to do it again and it makes me really anxious. I don’t want to be testing his blood on a moving bus, but you’d think the sweating, clammy, drowsy child and the panicked mother might give them a clue!

OneForTheRoadThen Sat 21-Apr-18 18:06:59

Mumsnetters always seem to experience disapproving comments from other people. I've never known it to happen in real life.

Just ignore them.

ShapelyBingoWing Sat 21-Apr-18 18:08:39

You're obviously not BU, but I'm very curious about where you live? Because if you've only needed to rely on sugary foods in public a few times and someone has been audibly horrified each time, you may want to move somewhere a bit more normal.

TammySwansonTwo Sat 21-Apr-18 18:08:54

Unfortunately the only time we’ve given him glucogel he was very sick for some reason, which is the last thing you want when sugars are low! Not sure if it’s the gel texture or what but it’s very strange. We have sachets now but they’re huge and would need mixing in advance if we were going out, and then thrown out if not used so would be really wasteful!

TammySwansonTwo Sat 21-Apr-18 18:11:25

I think that’s what I’m wondering - is this a normal reaction you’d get anywhere? I mean, maybe before I had him i would have been shocked but I definitely would have kept it to myself!

Then again, years ago I had a serious injury to my arm and the first time I went out with short sleeves a guy literally shouted “errrrr - look at her arm” across a busy street, no joke! It’s only a scar FFS. Maybe I do live in a town full of weirdos 😂

SauvignonBlanche Sat 21-Apr-18 18:12:09

Mumsnetters always seem to experience disapproving comments from other people. I've never known it to happen in real life.
I’m guessing you don’t have a child with a disability? hmm

Just ignore them.
Easier said than done, it grinds you down after a while. sad

3luckystars Sat 21-Apr-18 18:12:11

I met a man on a training course for parents of children with special needs. He had similar stares, his son had autism, he said he felt like printing cards explaining his son had a condition and that is why his behaviour was bad and handing them out whenever he felt judged.

The others told him to print the cards but just write ‘fuck off’ on the cards.

Rockandrollwithit Sat 21-Apr-18 18:12:45

My son has a condition where he had surgery on his oesophagus and a consequence of that is that food can get a bit stuck.

His surgeon advises giving him small amounts of Diet Coke in that situation, as this really helps to dislodge the food. He may need a further surgery to widen his oesophagus as he grows.

The looks I get if this happens in public 😡

One time someone made a loud comment to who she was with along the lines of my terrible parenting. It's the only time I've ever responded in public.

As hard as it is, try to ignore it. I think people don't know how lucky they are if they have perfectly healthy children.

ShapelyBingoWing Sat 21-Apr-18 18:13:33

OP, my DD is 4. She's had sugary food in public plenty of times and I've only ever had someone comment once and I reckon they'll now rethink ever trying to make a parent feel shitty over food choices again

user1472334322 Sat 21-Apr-18 18:18:02

It's a shame that people don't think about the fact that others may need sugar for blood sugar reasons. I work in a school and there's a child with diabetes in my class. She often has to have a jelly baby or a biscuit if she's low. The other children don't even notice and in fact help make sure she checks her levels and tell the adults if she's low.
I think I'd carry jelly babies and ribena with me and if anyone made a comment I'd just say it's either this or hospital!!
I feel for you op. I see this child in my class having to go through it all day and it must be very tiring keeping an eye on a toddler! The child's mother has told me some stories about what happens if she's too low and after hearing that I'd say give him what he needs and forget all those rude people!

Allmyshilldren Sat 21-Apr-18 18:18:16

Sorry to hear that OP. People can be ignorant, judgemental arseholes. My son has a medical condition where he loses too much salt so I’m constantly stuffing him with salty snacks. I’ve had a few looks but I give less and less of a shit now. I know I’m doing the right thing and frankly everyone else can fuck off!

Hopefully over time you will ignore it but there’s no harm in setting them straight if anyone says anything rude to you.

Calvinlookingforhobbs Sat 21-Apr-18 18:24:22

OP, thanks for sharing. I would probably look over at you TBH. It’s good for me to read about medical conditions and consider this before doing a double take. Thank you. I hope your LO is okay.

TipTopTat Sat 21-Apr-18 18:25:02

Cant you keep glucose tablets with you?

TammySwansonTwo Sat 21-Apr-18 18:28:56

Haven’t tried glucotabs yet - he’s a right one for not chewing and swallowing things whole and I worry he would choke! Maybe when he’s a bit bigger.

TammySwansonTwo Sat 21-Apr-18 18:31:16

Thanks everyone. I’m sorry some of you have to deal with similar.

He’s a tricky one as his symptoms are very subtle so I have to watch him like a hawk - he compensates very well and then suddenly crashes so I’m trying to get better at spotting the tiny signs but he’s a twin so it’s hard!

theDudesmummy Sat 21-Apr-18 18:31:55

People can be judgemental for sure. My DS (aged 8) has to carry a smartphone with him all the time for communication purposes, and we have had plenty of disapproving looks and stares at such a young child having his own smartphone (actually he has three, as the battery won't last all day, good thing they can't see that!). I have not yet had anyone actually say anything though.

Wanderlusting99 Sat 21-Apr-18 18:32:07

Honestly, wouldn't look twice at anything except if you were feeding a very small child coke, but I've been very interested in reading in some situations it's actually prescribed as I would never have realised that, I would always have thought there was a product I perceive as less processed (orange juice, apple juice, even Ribena to an extent) that was better at the job as I feel like every message I've had drilled into me all my life is that fizzy drinks are bad and should never be given to children. My son decided to take a slurp from my can of diet coke in a service station in Italy once, I'm sure every person there was tutting at the insane English woman practically giving him the heimlich so diet coke couldn't sully his poor insides rather than the toddler drinking diet coke they probably hadn't even noticed until that point.

StaplesCorner Sat 21-Apr-18 18:34:18

Where we live kids at the local primary school have a fruit shoot and a twix for breakfast no one bats an eyelid. I'm really surprised at other posters say they'd look and wonder. Here they'd think you were on a health kick what with the fruit in a Ribena an all. Its not as if you're giving him red bull and a fag (I have seen kids given Red Bull, but definitely no fags).

Just do what you have to and ignore them - have a read of that "two oranges after dinner" thread!

phlewf Sat 21-Apr-18 18:34:41

I can believe anything after my son got shoved out the way when he was with his guide dog.
1/2 of me leans towards loud patronising voice “come on Jimmy, since you can’t see I’ll lead you in front of these rude people”
Other 1/2 is holding my head high and pretending I haven’t noticed.
Generally people want the ground to swallow them up when you explain but it’s not nice for kiddos.
Maybe refill a sugar free bag from m and s with sugary sweets.

bluerunningshoes Sat 21-Apr-18 18:36:22

probably silly, but would dried fruit/fruit strings work for your dc?

shitloads of sugar and 'acceptable' enough for many judgey people.

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