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SIL wants her baby to 'catch a tan'

(379 Posts)
LocksHear Sat 21-Apr-18 17:08:19

AIBU to be fuming?!

She refuses to cover him up and isn't applying any sun lotion. Baby is 10 months.

Apparently no one puts sun lotion on their kid's in her country, and they're just kept out of the sun when it's at its strongest (between 1.30/3) confused

She's adamant he doesn't burn, and she doesn't. Which is true. But burning isn't the only sign of skin damage by the sun. So is a sun tan. Any change to pigmentation is, isn't it?

I was at the park with her and all the kids yesterday, I made a point of putting sun lotion on all of mine, and made sure I had loads in my hands when I said "Oh I've loads left. Let me do yours. Might as well, loads left smile"

She was very hmm and said I'd rather you didn't. I didn't know what to say to that. 5 minutes later she claimed to have a migraine coming on and left.

I've been advised to report her to her health visitor but I know she doesn't have one.

Deshasafraisy Sat 21-Apr-18 17:10:28

I’d rather my child got a bit of sun than douse them in chemicals.
You have no right to interfere with her parenting.

Fruitcorner123 Sat 21-Apr-18 17:11:13

Why doesnt she have a health visitor? I have no idea what you can do really. Is she your brothers wife? If yrs speak to him. To be honest whoever her partner is I would be speaking to them. The only other thing you can do is get hold of some online information and email it to her or print it off for her and ask her to look at it.

LocksHear Sat 21-Apr-18 17:11:32

Desh Not using sun lotion is absolutely fine, providing you don't let the child in the sun (direct exposure).

Fruitcorner123 Sat 21-Apr-18 17:11:52


Do you know about skin cancer?

Lacucuracha Sat 21-Apr-18 17:12:04

You can't reason with stupid.

Is she dark skinned? Skin damage from UV rays can happen to dark skin as well.

kaytee87 Sat 21-Apr-18 17:12:16

Who has advised you to report her to her HV?
On one hand I agree with you and always put lotion on my ds if it's very sunny but on the other hand you have no right to try and rub cream on someone else's baby.
Have her children ever burned?

NewYearNewMe18 Sat 21-Apr-18 17:12:51

Apparently no one puts sun lotion on their kid's in her country

Gwan gwan gwan tell us what third world back water she's from, you know you want to.

As far as I'm aware sun lotion isn't a legal obligation, and sensible parents keep children out of the heat of the day. And nicely, I wouldn't want you smearing my child with cream either. It's her choice.

Picklepickle123 Sat 21-Apr-18 17:13:43

Hmmm...what country is she from? My parents (from India) never put sunblock on me as a child, because they would have had the same thought process. I do however put sunblock on my own 10 month old son. Is your niece/nephew dark skinned? He will have naturally occuring melanin that will prevent his skin from burning but there are other benefits of sunblock that perhaps need to be explained to your SIL. I don't know whether a HV would really intervene in this kinda scenario.

LocksHear Sat 21-Apr-18 17:14:20

I can't believe people think it's okay to let children 'tan' in the sun...

She's from Gibraltar. Olive skin.

No, her baby isn't burnt but again, 100% not the only sign/inclination skin has been impacted negatively sad

Mightymucks Sat 21-Apr-18 17:14:30

There is a school of thinking that she is right and a lack of vitamin D from all the covering up and sun lotion is going to cause children more damage than the sun. It’s implicated in a lot of diseases like MS.

I prefer to let my children out at times when the sun is less dangerous without cream for vitamin D benefits.

Fruitcorner123 Sat 21-Apr-18 17:14:32

To be fair the OP offered she didn't try and run it in without the parents' permission.

DairyisClosed Sat 21-Apr-18 17:15:13

I come from Australia. If you aren't out in the sun between 1 and 3 (which you really shouldn't be on hot days anyway) then suncream isn't necessary so long as you aren't in direct sunlight for longer than 20 minutes. You are overreacting.

LocksHear Sat 21-Apr-18 17:16:19

Dairy I'm not overreacting. She is leaving him out well over 20 minutes at a time, in direct sunlight

Babdoc Sat 21-Apr-18 17:16:46

I hope you allow your kids at least 15 mins of unprotected sun a day to let them get their vitamin D requirement.
There is a theory that the reason multiple sclerosis is more common in northern latitudes is the lack of sun (and therefore vit D) in the winter months.
I worry there may be an increase in cases when the present generation of kids, slathered in sunscreen or staying indoors playing computer games, reach adulthood.

LocksHear Sat 21-Apr-18 17:17:51

Bab of course but they aren't in direct sunlight playing with no protection etc, it's dangerous

AssassinatedBeauty Sat 21-Apr-18 17:18:17

They were in the park, so presumably planning on being there for longer than 20 minutes.

It's absolutely parental choice, and letting children get some sun before applying suntan lotion or staying in the shade is clearly a reasonable choice. Just letting your 10 month old "tan" is something else.

LocksHear Sat 21-Apr-18 17:19:37

It's absolutely parental choice, and letting children get some sun before applying suntan lotion or staying in the shade is clearly a reasonable choice. Just letting your 10 month old "tan" is something else

Exactly this. She isn't shading him or protecting him with creams. She's just letting him get direct sun light for as long as he's out

I feel uncomfortable going out with her and I'm often thinking how long the poor baby is in the sun

Tartanscarf Sat 21-Apr-18 17:21:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pinkkahori Sat 21-Apr-18 17:22:08

What temperature is it?

BubblesAndSquarks Sat 21-Apr-18 17:22:55

You said shes from a different country, she may have grown up with it as the norm or not think the amount of sun that we have is enough to warrant needing it.

I know a mum who is Spanish and she never uses sun cream on her DC, who are both naturally not very pale, she said they don't burn and that she thinks its worse for them being covered in sun cream than being in the sun especially as there's so little of it in the UK.

PercyPigAddict Sat 21-Apr-18 17:23:00

I feel like I've slipped into the twilight zone reading this thread. Do lots of people genuinely believe it's perfectly fine for a parent to let her 10-month-old "tan" or are you just being contrary for the sake of it?

You're right OP, like it or not a tan is a sign of skin damage. sad

LocksHear Sat 21-Apr-18 17:23:25

Tart We were out in the park from 11ish to 1.30

Baby wasn't covered or creamed the whole time and said she thinks "he will be a lovely colour by next week"

PercyPigAddict Sat 21-Apr-18 17:23:49

Thank fuck for "chemicals" in sun creams is all I can say hmm

Tartanscarf Sat 21-Apr-18 17:25:02

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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