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AIBU to be upset over no leaving present?

(18 Posts)
Summer891 Sat 21-Apr-18 13:40:54

So I was made redundant this week. I (and everyone in the office) knew it was coming, but it has now been made formal.

I was the only one to be made redundant so it’s been really crap and horrible. But in times like this we really learn who our friends are. I have been there for years and didn’t even get a leaving present. When others leave they have received lots of things, but my colleagues didn’t bother.

They also went on a night out on my last day. This upset me as I feel they could have done that another time. AIBU?

Awwlookatmybabyspider Sat 21-Apr-18 13:53:34

No you're not being unreasonable.
It's completely understandable that you feel agrieved. I think anyone would do.
Also they could have invited you on their night out.
Why are you the only one facing redundancy. Where you the last one.

Summer891 Sat 21-Apr-18 13:57:11

@Awwlookatmybabyspider it’s a weird situation. My boss says I have a different job title to everyone else, even though what we did was pretty much the same in reality. I think the company just see it as an easy dismissal.

HeyDolly Sat 21-Apr-18 14:04:57

Nobody in my workplace buys colleagues leaving presents if they are made compulsory redundant. They do if they take VR or resign but not for CR. Not sure why, it just seems to be some unspoken and unexplained etiquette.

Hope you find a new job soon. flowers

Phosphorus Sat 21-Apr-18 14:09:42

I think it would be a bit odd for them to make a fuss of someone leaving under your circumstances.

No matter how they go about it, there'd always be can air of 'we know you don't want to leave, but thank God it's you and not us'.

As they are not friends of yours, just colleagues, they are probably trying to avoid anything embarrassing/upsetting for you.

ziggiestardust Sat 21-Apr-18 14:13:46

I would feel awkward buying someone who was leaving under compulsory redundancy a leaving gift actually. Almost like ‘sorry you lost your job... but these flowers make up for it!’
I don’t know.
But if that was me, and we were friends; I would have looked at clubbing together to take you out for a meal instead.

ourkidmolly Sat 21-Apr-18 14:19:07

I think you're more deserving of a goodbye pressie if it's CV! You haven't been dismissed for unprofessional conduct etc.

Ninjamilo Sat 21-Apr-18 14:22:10

In my office anyone made redundant gets a card but not a present - the unwritten thinking is that they're getting a payout so can buy their own 🙈

greenlanes Sat 21-Apr-18 14:27:33

Didnt you already post about this last week and get lots of support?

mirage937 Sat 21-Apr-18 14:32:16

greenlane i thought there was something similar last week too but wasnt sure if i was imagining things !

purplelila2 Sat 21-Apr-18 14:59:01

I think YABU to expect a present.
Where I work if it's someone voluntarily leaving then they get a card and gift, they don't for redundancies.

They aren't your friends they were your colleagues

Hope you find another job soon.

purplelila2 Sat 21-Apr-18 15:00:55

And you've left now and never have to see them again so sod the lot of em, they aren't worth it. And stop feeling sorry for yourself.

Crinkle77 Sat 21-Apr-18 15:04:11

ninjamilo they may get a pay out but it could be months before they get another job. That pay out had got to pay the bills. It's not like a bonus.

Anyway I'm i don't think yabu. I would be upset too. Have you always got on with them before?

Summer891 Sat 21-Apr-18 15:10:25

Before all this they were not just colleagues, we were what I would count as friends. We went out together, chatted outside work and messaged each other on social media.

And my redundant payout is pitiful, I only Received statutory redundancy and it won’t go far at all.

Deathraystare Sat 21-Apr-18 15:15:50

They also went on a night out on my last day.

What? Without you?!!!! Bastards. You are well rid of the miserable bleeders.

DianaT1969 Sat 21-Apr-18 15:29:22

Did you usually go out with them? Were you invited, or they kept it secret?
Were you absent from your job a lot, or do less than them? Although friendly before your redundancy, they might have resented carrying the extra workload. Not saying that's true in your case at all. It happened in my last office. Or perhaps they found it awkward as a previous poster said. When the dust settles maybe you'll feel like they are friends again. But I'd let it go on the leaving gift... life is too short.

ChevalierTialys Sat 21-Apr-18 15:37:38

I hear ya.

Last year, I left a job of 10 years. Didn't even get a card. Would have considered a good few of them friends until then.

It's hurtful but at least now you know what they are, and you never have to see any of those inconsiderate gits again.

Angrybird345 Sat 21-Apr-18 15:54:56

Did you get advice from ACAS about the redundancy?

Your colleagues are nasty.

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