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AIBU?

To think I went a bit far?

21 replies

Humbleton · 20/04/2018 01:08

Out for work drinks with new team, I’m junior and they were all pretty senior. A colleague was recently sacked for inappropriate behaviour and one of them brought it up.

OP posts:

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Humbleton · 20/04/2018 01:10

He is someone I know and have worked with so (probably a bit pissed and wanting to fit in), I nodded furiously along with everything and kept saying “that’s what I heard” etc (I did, it was all true). But know feel slightly weird for being gossipy even though I technically didn’t say anything myself? I feel like I should have behaved differently but in honesty didn’t know what to say - I was more taking my cues from everyone else?

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 20/04/2018 01:10

What is your question?

Aquamarine1029 · 20/04/2018 01:11

What's done is done. You can't take the head nods back so don't worry about it.

Humbleton · 20/04/2018 01:12

I know but how do I behave going forward

OP posts:

steff13 · 20/04/2018 01:15

Don't bring it up again?

GinIsIn · 20/04/2018 01:23

Did you just get in from drinks, by any chance? You have The Fear - this is a total non-issue. Drink some water!

AjasLipstick · 20/04/2018 01:43

Forget it OP. It doesn't sound that bad...sounds like you're just an aware person and you'll do better to drink less with that lot in future.

Humbleton · 20/04/2018 01:49

I like them though and want to stay with the team

OP posts:

Aquamarine1029 · 20/04/2018 02:14

Go into work and pretend like nothing happened, because nothing did. You're worrying about nothing.

AjasLipstick · 20/04/2018 08:47

Well stay with the team...but don't get drunk with them.

FASH84 · 20/04/2018 08:52

This is a non event unless you feel they were being mean and the sacked colleague is a friend, in which case you probably feel guilty, but as a junior were can trying to fit in. If that's the case next time it comes up remove yourself from the conversation, go to the bar or talk to someone else, or if you're asked for your view, say 'i know he must've done things wrong to be asked to leave, but he's a friend of mine/was nice and supportive to me when I was working with him and I don't like talking about him when he's not here'.

TheViceOfReason · 20/04/2018 08:54

Say nothing. Next time you are in a similar position either say nothing or go to the toilet / get a drink / be engrossed in your phone.

Not getting involved in any time of work gossip is the best course of action.

Furano · 20/04/2018 08:55

Yeah, you’re just having anaxity after drinking. That happens.

elsmokoloco · 20/04/2018 09:05

The topic will probably never be brought up again. Delete it for your mind and don't worry.

QueenArseClangers · 20/04/2018 09:08

If you shake your head 52 times then this neutralises the drunk nodding you did last night.
FACT.

Scribblegirl · 20/04/2018 09:08

Ah, the fear...

Yeah you're fine OP. It's stuff like that that's meant to bring you closer as a team anyway - common bond. In any event you didn't say anything except to essentially nod along. No one else will be thinking about this today, honest

Scribblegirl · 20/04/2018 09:08

queen that could be quite dangerous advice if OP is hungover 😂

TrudeauGirl · 20/04/2018 09:12

Don't worry, just don't talk about it again. If next time you go out with him they start discussing work gossip that you don't feel comfortable with, just change the subject in a polite way.

Things always seem worse after drinks. It's easier to overthink things. (I've been there!)

WhatsGoingOnEh · 20/04/2018 09:32

I'm totally like this, drunk or not drunk. I'd have been so desperate to fit in that I'd have agreed with anything, even two completely opposing views.

Colleague 1: "He deserved to be sacked, he was way out of line."

Me: [Nodding] "Oh absolutely, terrible behaviour, good riddance, no way could he have stayed on."

Colleague B: "I think it was a bit harsh of HR, to be honest. Other people have got away with worse."

Me: "Totally! Poor man. Complete disgrace. Let's strike till he gets his job back."

🙄

Monty27 · 14/06/2018 02:01

WhatsGoingOnEh that amused me no end
I learned a long time ago not to drink with my team. That took a long time but I got there in the end.. following many cringe making moments

Monty27 · 16/07/2018 06:04

Me to.senior head of department on having joined the team, years of experience in. the organisation
Me: I cannot believe how archaic the way of working is. The online library is ridiculous. The office is a mess it's like something from the ,70s (this was about 10 years ago and I had already worked around the organisation for 20., years) I have never seen anything like it
Her:. My staff are wonderful how dare you blah.blah
Well there you go

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