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To think I went a bit far?

(22 Posts)
Humbleton Fri 20-Apr-18 01:08:29

Out for work drinks with new team, I’m junior and they were all pretty senior. A colleague was recently sacked for inappropriate behaviour and one of them brought it up.

Aquamarine1029 Fri 20-Apr-18 01:10:12

What is your question?

Humbleton Fri 20-Apr-18 01:10:12

He is someone I know and have worked with so (probably a bit pissed and wanting to fit in), I nodded furiously along with everything and kept saying “that’s what I heard” etc (I did, it was all true). But know feel slightly weird for being gossipy even though I technically didn’t say anything myself? I feel like I should have behaved differently but in honesty didn’t know what to say - I was more taking my cues from everyone else?

Aquamarine1029 Fri 20-Apr-18 01:11:04

What's done is done. You can't take the head nods back so don't worry about it.

Humbleton Fri 20-Apr-18 01:12:16

I know but how do I behave going forward

steff13 Fri 20-Apr-18 01:15:35

Don't bring it up again?

FenellaMaxwellsPony Fri 20-Apr-18 01:23:24

Did you just get in from drinks, by any chance? You have The Fear - this is a total non-issue. Drink some water!

AjasLipstick Fri 20-Apr-18 01:43:47

Forget it OP. It doesn't sound that bad...sounds like you're just an aware person and you'll do better to drink less with that lot in future.

Humbleton Fri 20-Apr-18 01:49:49

I like them though and want to stay with the team

Aquamarine1029 Fri 20-Apr-18 02:14:27

Go into work and pretend like nothing happened, because nothing did. You're worrying about nothing.

AjasLipstick Fri 20-Apr-18 08:47:20

Well stay with the team...but don't get drunk with them.

FASH84 Fri 20-Apr-18 08:52:53

This is a non event unless you feel they were being mean and the sacked colleague is a friend, in which case you probably feel guilty, but as a junior were can trying to fit in. If that's the case next time it comes up remove yourself from the conversation, go to the bar or talk to someone else, or if you're asked for your view, say 'i know he must've done things wrong to be asked to leave, but he's a friend of mine/was nice and supportive to me when I was working with him and I don't like talking about him when he's not here'.

TheViceOfReason Fri 20-Apr-18 08:54:51

Say nothing. Next time you are in a similar position either say nothing or go to the toilet / get a drink / be engrossed in your phone.

Not getting involved in any time of work gossip is the best course of action.

Furano Fri 20-Apr-18 08:55:22

Yeah, you’re just having anaxity after drinking. That happens.

elsmokoloco Fri 20-Apr-18 09:05:59

The topic will probably never be brought up again. Delete it for your mind and don't worry.

QueenArseClangers Fri 20-Apr-18 09:08:14

If you shake your head 52 times then this neutralises the drunk nodding you did last night.

Scribblegirl Fri 20-Apr-18 09:08:22

Ah, the fear...

Yeah you're fine OP. It's stuff like that that's meant to bring you closer as a team anyway - common bond. In any event you didn't say anything except to essentially nod along. No one else will be thinking about this today, honest smile

Scribblegirl Fri 20-Apr-18 09:08:52

queen that could be quite dangerous advice if OP is hungover 😂

TrudeauGirl Fri 20-Apr-18 09:12:06

Don't worry, just don't talk about it again. If next time you go out with him they start discussing work gossip that you don't feel comfortable with, just change the subject in a polite way. smile

Things always seem worse after drinks. It's easier to overthink things. (I've been there!)

WhatsGoingOnEh Fri 20-Apr-18 09:32:47

I'm totally like this, drunk or not drunk. I'd have been so desperate to fit in that I'd have agreed with anything, even two completely opposing views.

Colleague 1: "He deserved to be sacked, he was way out of line."

Me: [Nodding] "Oh absolutely, terrible behaviour, good riddance, no way could he have stayed on."

Colleague B: "I think it was a bit harsh of HR, to be honest. Other people have got away with worse."

Me: "Totally! Poor man. Complete disgrace. Let's strike till he gets his job back."


Monty27 Thu 14-Jun-18 02:01:44

WhatsGoingOnEh that amused me no end grin
I learned a long time ago not to drink with my team. That took a long time but I got there in the end.. following many cringe making moments shock

Monty27 Mon 16-Jul-18 06:04:30

Me to.senior head of department on having joined the team, years of experience in. the organisation
Me: I cannot believe how archaic the way of working is. The online library is ridiculous. The office is a mess it's like something from the ,70s (this was about 10 years ago and I had already worked around the organisation for 20., years) I have never seen anything like it
Her:. My staff are wonderful how dare you blah.blah
Well there you go confused

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