DP & I were planning on having a large typical wedding with all the frills but two things happened;
- we decided to prioritise buying our first house & sorting out the décor there
- we couldn't seem to keep any of my family happy with anything we suggested or wanted for our wedding.
FYI my sister had to get a loan out to keep family happy with everything they wanted for her wedding.
So we decided we would head off to the registry office with our 2 best mates as witnesses and just get legally married to;
- to get our names the same as our DS and
- to save bothering with a Will, our mortgage advisor said "get married or do a Will"
We will save up for a larger showy off "renewal of vows" celebration in a few years when we have the money to do what we want and keep everyone else happy.
I didn't particularly want to tell our family about it because I knew they would take it out of context and cause drama about it but DP couldn't keep it from them so we had to tell them.
Cue the drama and the tears and the throwing toys out of the pram, e.g.I was told my family wouldn't forgive me if my nan died before we had a proper big wedding day.
I'm not completely soulless and so I had been having many sleepless nights over how upset I seem to have made my family that I told DP that we are going to have to invite them to see this legal joining of us.
Yet when I asked them along to it they then decided to try and change the whole event. They wanted to make us cancel the registry office and hold it at another venue claiming that it won't cost much money because they will still pay for their meal out afterwards (actually it will cost about £1000 extra to suggest where they want us to get married plus want me to get a new dress to be more romantic!)
I told them "no, we are still only getting legally bound together at the registry office with a simple meal out afterwards, the larger showy day will come when we have the money". To which they then decided that now they don't want to come at all and although they are saying that they are really upset that they wont be coming they cant possibly come to a registry wedding when they weren't originally invited.
I feel like pulling my hair out! Especially at my mum's comment of "I feel like you regret not inviting us along to begin with which is why you are now trying to get us to come along" - is it just me or does that seem pretty low? If you think your daughter wants you at her wedding to begin with why would you not go?
Idk what I expect from this thread. I expect to be slated pretty harshly on here for these choices as I am being hounded by my family pretty strongly so I have clearly handled this whole thing badly.
I really just needed to vent. DP cant stand this drama anymore and I don't want him to hate my family so don't want him to see how stressed this is making me.