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To think a 17 year old can get the bus home?

(164 Posts)
makeupbag Tue 17-Apr-18 19:00:35

My mum has an appointment tomorrow at the time she would normally be picking my brother up from school. This afternoon she has asked me, his older sister, to pick him up in my car. Normally I would be happy to do this, but tomorrow I have plans that I would have to cancel to pick up my brother. I've said that at 17 he should be capable of walking down the hill for 15 minutes to the bus stop for a 10 minute bus journey that will drop him literally outside our house. My mum disagrees, saying it would be fine if he was used to it, but he's only done it once or twice before. Who is being unreasonable?

LovingLola Tue 17-Apr-18 19:01:16

Your mother.

RavenWings Tue 17-Apr-18 19:01:29

She's bu, assuming he doesn't have some sort of additional needs that make it impossible. If he's just lazy or she's overprotective, it'll be good for him to walk.

AnneLovesGilbert Tue 17-Apr-18 19:02:14

She is. If he nevet does it he’ll never learn. And it’s not your responsibility anyway.

“Sorry, can’t help”. And don’t discuss any further.

Were you getting the bus at 17?

CheekyRedhead Tue 17-Apr-18 19:02:16

He's practically an adult so she is unless he has some mental or physical difficulties?

Weezol Tue 17-Apr-18 19:02:27

Your mum is being very unreasonable.

Justmuddlingalong Tue 17-Apr-18 19:03:07

Your DM. I'd say it's an ideal opportunity for him to learn a basic skill.

PurpleDaisies Tue 17-Apr-18 19:04:24

Is there some reason why she says he can’t manage that? It would be entirely normal for most 17 year olds to be making their own way back and forth college.

MuttsNutts Tue 17-Apr-18 19:04:43

Your Mum is being ridiculous. And your brother is a lazy bugger if he doesn’t insist on getting the bus himself.

He is 17, not 7.

Bumblesnuff4Crimpysnitch Tue 17-Apr-18 19:04:52

Bit of excessive mollycodling eh?

Remind her that he will be a fully fledged adult in less than a year.

booellesmum Tue 17-Apr-18 19:05:08

Does he have special needs. If so he really needs supporting to learn to be independent rather than it suddenly being forced on him.
Otherwise, yes, he can get the bus. Mine have caught the train to school or bus if trains not running from the age of 11.

Lalliella Tue 17-Apr-18 19:06:05

What?? My DD aged 11 gets the bus home!

GreenVelvetwithfrills Tue 17-Apr-18 19:06:19

Your mother is being very unreasonable, I have relatives who went nowhere ( didn’t meet friends, go shopping etc) as they wouldn’t walk the 20minutes to the bus stop. Can’t say who as it’s too outing. And another relative who collected her late teenage offspring from the bus drop off, which was 10 minutes down the road, with no roads to cross, and she collected him in the car !

SingleAgainThen Tue 17-Apr-18 19:07:01

I was driving myself to Uni an hour away at 17, WTF?!

QueenCity Tue 17-Apr-18 19:07:16

Your mum is completely unreasonable! I was just telling DD how I used to go to the dentist on my own from the age of 12. This involved a 10 minute walk, a 10 mile bus journey and a five minute walk at the other end! Not sure I would want my 12year old to do that but your brother needs to start doing things himself.

Fruitcorner123 Tue 17-Apr-18 19:07:37

Your mum.is unreasonable but even if she wasn't its not your responsibility. She has asked, you have said no, end of conversation.

sonypony Tue 17-Apr-18 19:07:49

Unless he has some additional need your mother is BU and ridiculous. Some people live alone at 16.

makeupbag Tue 17-Apr-18 19:08:39

No additional needs, although to be fair I've just remembered that at the minute he has a broken toe, so although that isn't part of her reasoning, maybe I should pick him up tomorrow.

She says I'm not thinking of her and how she'll be worried about him and not knowing how he's getting home. I told her that she never encourages us to be independent and that he's nearly an adult and it sort of just turned into a shouting match.

GlitterGlue Tue 17-Apr-18 19:09:04

Unless he has a disability which means he can't yet manage a bus on his own your mother is being terribly unreasonable.

Do 17 year olds actually want to be picked up from school by their parents? At 17 I was getting buses to work or to meet my friends at pubs.

BonnieF Tue 17-Apr-18 19:09:35

Your mother is being completely ridiculous.

This lad will be an adult in a few months time. If he’s incapable of getting a bus on his own, his parents need to look at themselves.

30 years ago, most 17 year olds had left school and were working full time, today society treats 17 year olds as children. It’s bonkers.

littleducks Tue 17-Apr-18 19:09:49

Is he not embarrassed to be picked up by his mum daily?

Skatingfastonthinice Tue 17-Apr-18 19:09:50

What does he think? Because I agree that she’s being ridiculous.

Weezol Tue 17-Apr-18 19:12:38

If he can navigate school with his broken toe he can get the bus.

Please, please don't cave over this, it is the start of a slippery slope.

Why are your plans less important than his?

makeupbag Tue 17-Apr-18 19:12:58

My brother didn't say anything when my mum and I were having this discussion, so I'm not sure what he thinks. He's happy enough to be picked up, he doesn't really seem to care what people think of him and anyway I think a lot of his peers are also picked up.

gateto Tue 17-Apr-18 19:13:00

Your mother is being completely unreasonable. If he has no additional needs then surely he should have been getting the bus by himself for around years or so?! Isn't the start of high school the time when this happens. I was at uni at 17 in another city from my parents!

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