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AIBU?

To think she should have been pissed off with herself rather than us?

118 replies

Tailfeather · 25/03/2018 07:06

Just flew back from a lovely holiday with our baby.

We booked our flights 11 months ago and paid to pre-book the bassinet seats.

When we checked in online, the seat next to us was still free.

We were sat in our seats when the lady sitting next to us arrived. She looked at our baby, hissed 'oh for fuck's sake' and rolled her eyes. She tried to see if there was elsewhere to sit. There wasn't. So she returned, tutted and hurumphed a lot and sat next to me immediately turning her back to me after telling me that my baby had better not throw anything at her.

He was actually brilliant on the flight. Never cried once, slept for most of the journey and the worst thing he did to get was smile and wave at her. So he was less of a problem than a noisy older child or a chatty adult. I have spent flights next to snorers, smelly people, space invaders, people who talk too much, get too drunk - and they were all adults.

Now, I get that many people don't want to be near the baby on the aeroplane. I'm not offended by that. But if you are SO anti-children then surely she should have pre-booked her seat as far away from the bassinets as possible? She was obviously allocated this seat at the airport. So she should have been angry with herself rather than take it out on us. Or at least wait to see if he had been a pain before tutting and shooting us death stares. It was such an awkward journey!!

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Bumblealong1 · 25/03/2018 07:10

You are totally right.
What a tool!

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DonkeyPunch88 · 25/03/2018 07:11

You're right, she sounds like a knob

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Bumblealong1 · 25/03/2018 07:12

I imagine it’s the kind of thing that plays over in your mind after..
seems you didn’t say anything to her. I would spend weeks thinking of a witty, pithy comment I wish I had made to her.

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PurpleDaisies · 25/03/2018 07:12

Her behaviour was rude.

I inwardly grumble a bit if I’m sat next to a child for a long flight (bad experiences before) but I’d never dream of acting like that.

What is a “bassinet seat” by the way?

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Tailfeather · 25/03/2018 07:14

@Bumblealong1 TOTALLY! I can't sleep as keep wishing I'd said something and fantasising about what I would have said! ! I'm not a confrontational person though, so I probably wouldn't have, even if I had thought of something clever....

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KC225 · 25/03/2018 07:15

That is so rude.

Where is the projectile vomiting when you need it in a stranger's ear.

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MissionItsPossible · 25/03/2018 07:15

What is a bassinet seat?

I would have been tempted to throw something at her myself had she talked to me and my child like that.

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GettingAwayWithIt · 25/03/2018 07:16

She was definitely a tool! Presumably she's had a bad experience with a baby on a plane before, hopefully sitting next to you and yours and realising every baby is different she might change her attitude.
Glad to hear you had a lovely holiday with your baby, he sounds lovely Smile

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AuntieMay · 25/03/2018 07:16

Maybe because the bassinet are also in the extra leg room bit? But she was rude
Dd2 at 9 month old screamed for a whole 8hr flight from Riyadh to Heathrow- that would have given her something to be rude about to be honest!!

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Tailfeather · 25/03/2018 07:16

@PurpleDaisies It's the seats at the front where they can attach a cot for babies up to 2 years! Definitely best avoided if you don't want to be near little ones! On the seating map it shows little pictures of babies at those points. X

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Poppins2016 · 25/03/2018 07:17

You're right. She was an idiot. She was also very rude.

I love children and babies. However I admit that if I'm flying over 3 hours I tend to book a seat as far away from the (very obviously indicated) bassinets as possible. I like my peace and quiet when flying!

I suppose it's a possibility that she checked in at the airport and was therefore not given a choice of seat... But that's easily avoided by checking in online.

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MissionItsPossible · 25/03/2018 07:19

@Tailfeather
TOTALLY! I can't sleep as keep wishing I'd said something and fantasising about what I would have said!

In hindsight, I am always witty, cutting and can discard any nasty comment with a withering remark. At the time, however, not so much (although I do have my moments) Smile

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rocketgirl22 · 25/03/2018 07:20

I would have definitely stood up and spoken to the cabin crew and refused to sit next to someone who swore and my baby and I like that.

No need to say anything to the vile creature, just stand up and ask to be switched elsewhere if it ever happens again.

I very much doubt anyone would have complained, esp the cabin crew whom do all they can to avoid serious tension like that escalating.

My friends dh nearly had a full on fight with another passenger after their twin babies cried all the way to Australia where my friend lives. Flying is a nightmare sometimes!

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Pleasebeafleabite · 25/03/2018 07:28

OP couldn’t switch seats as she needed the bassinet

YANBU OP obviously the row she booked was likely to contain a baby

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DarkRoomDarren · 25/03/2018 07:28

Yanbu.

Being generous, maybe she was having an absolutely terrible day and has had bad experiences sitting beside babies in the past. She still behaved like a cunt though.

I’ve had someone be rude to dd and me on a plane before, when she was being perfectly behaved and I did confront him actually, (I am a bit like that when the occasion calls for it - classy Grin). I confronted him twice actually, as I saw him again in the passport queue, so I publicly shamed him there, (not sorry at all - he was rude).

It’s only happened that one time and we’ve flown a lot with dd. Normally people are absolutely lovely, even on the rare occasions when she cried a lot on the plane, people were lovely. We even had a retired Pediatric nurse beside us once who was advising us on how to stop her ears hurting on landing.

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Esspee · 25/03/2018 07:33

I loved having my babies in a bassinet. Breast fed during take off and landing they tended to sleep most of the journey leaving me hands free to relax on the flight. By the time DS1 was 2years he had clocked 25,000 miles and happily toddled off to join the pilot to fly the plane. I still have his Junior Jet Club passport somewhere!

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punchyKate · 25/03/2018 07:36

You get a little more legroom in the bassinet / bulkhead seats so it's a gamble and she was stupid to think she was wronged.

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PeachQueen · 25/03/2018 07:59

This happened to us.

We had pre booked the bassinet when our DD was 16 weeks - it was our honeymoon. On the way home we had the middle two of the four randomly & the bassinet was to the left so my wear and the empty one were in front of it.

A couple got on having clearly asked for leg room as they were both very tall. They took one look at the seats and were like "oh no way, no way are we sitting with a child!" I was shocked and tried to explain to her that we needed the bassinet and she had actually slept all the way there (genuinely had!) so was hoping for the same.

They sat down and all through the flight every time I moved to attend to DD she huffed and puffed & tutted! I was apologizing as I could see she was annoyed, silly woman! DD didn't cry once and slept 80% of flight! She was making more noise!

She asked the cabin crew if they could move and was moved to 'normal' seats and we got the 4 to ourselves!

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AustrianSnow · 25/03/2018 08:36

We arrived at the row of four bassinet seats with our dc and got much tutting and filthy looks from two women already there. It was so uncomfortable. The air steward then told them they were in the wrong seats and moved them into the row behind where they were nice and squashed and looked even more sour and we got the whole row of extra leg-room seats to ourselves. I love it when life works out so well.

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MardAsSnails · 25/03/2018 08:44

She should have booked away from the bulkhead.

It's always a toss up for me - extra leg room and near bassinets, or cramped up and unlikely to be near babies. Second option would win every time

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CatMuffin · 25/03/2018 08:47

She was ridiculously rude

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swingofthings · 25/03/2018 08:47

I do sympathise with her feelings as having travelled next to babies on long hauls, it really is hell. I had my hair pulled, baby staring at me repeating hello a zillion times, and non stop kicking. The thing is, because it's usually is a stressful experience for the parents, any distraction aimed at an another passenger is a bit of a respite for them, so often, there is this underlying attitude that you should be either finding them cute and want to engage with them, or engage to help the poor parent.

However, her reaction was over the top, especially since your baby hadn't done anything annoying by the time she kicked off (and indeed not for the rest of the journey anyway) and indeed, she shouldn't have taken her frustration on to you, you had has much right as her to be sitting there with your baby.

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swingofthings · 25/03/2018 08:50

or cramped up and unlikely to be near babies Well you can't guarantee that as indeed, you might avoid the smaller ones, but not the 12months + who are too big for the bassinet and can be as annoying.

Flying is rarely a nice experience unless in business/1st class, so might as well expect it.

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WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 25/03/2018 08:51

I would have the exact same reaction as her, however I wouldn’t make it known either verbally or on my face. I think this goes for the majority of people; nobody wants to be near a baby/toddler/child on an aeroplane.

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DarkRoomDarren · 25/03/2018 08:54

You’re right @whattodo - loads of people would THINK what this woman said, but it was really rude and unkind of her to verbalise it.

Maybe she was having a terrible day though, as I said. Sometimes things just come out when you’re in a terrible mood. If I’d done an involuntary “ffs” in those circumstances though, I’d have apologised and explained myself. It’s not the op’s fault.

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