I have name changed as I know this isn’t going to make me popular but here goes.
I absolutely hate my life but I have no reason to and no idea why I do.
I messed up at school but was the funny one so had loads of friends and didn’t care about grades or exams but unbelievably after messing about for a couple of years I have managed to carve out a career in a really good industry and earn well above the average way salary as does my dh so we have no money worries at all.
My dh is amazing one of those men who every woman wants to be married to and we have 6 year old twins (1boy, 1 girl). He is British but grew up in South Africa and deep down I always think he would rather be over there than here. This was everything I thought I wanted when I was younger but I hate it. I cook, clean, cuddle my kids and make sure they know I love them but inside I’m screaming. If I could walk away right now and know it wouldn’t hurt them I would do it.
I have lost all my friends as I was the first in my age group to have children where I am (London) and I’m so jealous when I see them all out together via Facebook pictures and I’m sat at home reading bed time stories. I hate parents evening, I hate making lunches, I hate the paintings my kids do me that I have to stick of my fridge but most of all I hate that I hate it, I want to love it , to feel proud of what my children are achieving to really mean it when I tell them I love them, most of all to not resent them because they have their whole lives ahead of them and mines gone.
So here I am at 38 wondering where the time went, why I made so many mistakes and what I can do to make this right? I know I’m going to be judged but if anyone has any actual advice or knows how I feel I would be grateful to hear it?
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AIBU?
To absolutely hate my life?
80 replies
itwillbeok12 · 24/03/2018 23:42
OP posts:
MirriVan ·
25/03/2018 02:17
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Message withdrawn at poster's request.
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