my DD is 2.5, there are a few other mums we've known since they were 3-4 months old from a baby group. they all go to the same nursery in our village so we mums bump into each other there, and we often go to a play group one day a week when not working. sometimes arrange a soft play date. so not great friends, but on reasonably good terms until now. should also say i am the poorest by far, and in a different situation to the others as a lone parent, but that hasn't been a problem so far.
today i took DD to soft play, had paid to get in, DD was playing ok but we were on our own and it was quite quiet. got a message from one of the group of mums, her and another were taking their DDs to a specific place and did i want to join. i said yes and that i was on way. so we left the soft play - after having paid about £5 to get in and for a drink, and having been there about half an hour.
i had to drive for about 20 minutes to get to where they said they would be, and paid to get in - cost was about £10. texted them to say i was there and where were they. DD had fallen asleep in the car so i couldn't get out and look around. waited 5 minutes, messaged again. after 10 minutes then 20 minutes tried calling them quite a few times, no answer. DD was still asleep and i didn't quite know what to do at this point. They had known i was on way, and had invited me, so i had thought they would be looking out so we could find each other.
after 25 minutes I was a bit upset at just sitting there, i couldn't get a refund and if i woke DD to drag her all over the place half awake knew she would be grumpy/wailing, I'd have to carry her as well as all our stuff, i didn't have a pushchair with us. drove away.
after another 20-30 minutes got a call, this time from the other mum (not the one who invited me, but they were together). i answered and it was like she was laughing at me. she asked why i hadn't come to find them - and told me where they had been, but as i didn't know the place i still doubt i would have found them, i do't think i would have. she asked if i was coming back and i said no. then - she seemed pretty accusatory, as though it was my fault i hadn't gone looking. was absolutely not apologetic that i had waited nearly half an hour trying to contact them. as though it was all my fault. there were big long pauses without saying anything and then she seemed to be laughing, and i was so uncomfortable.
the one who actually invited me didn't say anything then and hasn't contacted me since.
i ended the call and just burst into tears, feeling really alone and crappy, like i don't matter to anyone. an over-reaction i know. partly due to spending quite a bit of money today essentially on nothing. we would have been better off staying on our own at the soft play centre in the first place - except it was lonely and i think i jumped at the idea of some company, we do so much on our own.
AIBU for feeling upset? i don't know how to react the next time i see them.
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AIBU?
how would you react to this?
51 replies
newsparklythings · 24/03/2018 21:27
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