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AIBU?

She called me a bad mum

154 replies

upsideup · 24/03/2018 16:35

We took DS2's friend (5) swimming today and are keeping him until 7 because his mum had an emergency with childcare, absolutely fine as we were going swimming anyway, and I like DS having play dates and the boy is well behaved and no real bother.

But I have just been told by him that I am a ''bad mummy'' because DH does all the cooking and the school run for the older children and I do ''nothing''. Also because I make my kids share food, presumably this is from a few weeks ago when we were all at a cafe and I got my 3 and 4 year old a (huge) slice of cake to share as this kids mum did at the time say 'aw, why cant they have a piece each?' And I also don't let my DS cut his hair, I do it gets cut every 6-8 weeks he just prefers to keep it reasonably long and that it has to be 'tied up like a girl sometimes', he was prepared to carry on listing reasons why but I changed the subject.

The 5 year old definately heard all that from his mum right?
Part of me is like sure we all have had a bitch about other parents before but if I was that much of a 'bad mummy' why would I be your second choice of childcare and I also would never make those comments in front of my children to repeat.

WWYD?
AIBU to ask the mum about this(jokingly or not)?
AIBU to distance myself from her?
Or AIBU to just let this go?

OP posts:
Idontdowindows · 24/03/2018 16:37

He'd have heard it from his mother I'd think. Ask her.

Tinkie25 · 24/03/2018 16:39

I would ask as well.

Schlimbesserung · 24/03/2018 16:40

Tell her what he said. Follow with a Paddington hard stare. See what she says, but probably let her do her own childcare from now on.

Chocolaterainbows · 24/03/2018 16:40

That's an awful lot of information to come out of a 5 year old mouth. But yes, I would say he has heard it from his mum. And if that's the case she is very cheeky using you for childcare Angry

Zazzleza · 24/03/2018 16:43

Oops!
That’s embarrassing for her.
I guess it depends if you value her as a friend or not? As you say, we all have harmless bitches about other people but would never expect it to get back to that person.
Personally I’d keep quiet but be on my guard!

littletykeboy · 24/03/2018 16:43

Definitely from his mum!!!

KittenBeast · 24/03/2018 16:43

Oooh what a cow she is, and then to use you for childcare! My oh my. I'd have a word and enjoy watching her scrabble and stutter.

Knittedfairies · 24/03/2018 16:43

Ask her why she's using a ‘bad mummy’ to look after her child for a whole day..

Happymummy1991 · 24/03/2018 16:44

Personally I wouldn't say anything but I certainly wouldn't be helping out with any more childcare Hmm

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 24/03/2018 16:44

No you don't have a bitch about someone who is doing you a favor. If he did hear it from his mother or father that you're a "bad mum"
Where have they left their darling?...Exactly, so . The situation is laughing at its self. You might in theIr eyes be a bad mother but you're good enough for to mind their son, aren't you. I wouldn't do it again. You get no better thought of.
I don't think anyone will blame you for being upset and annoyed.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry · 24/03/2018 16:45

Cheeky cow.

upsideup · 24/03/2018 16:49

Thankyou! I was worried everyone was going to say that its normal to make comments like that and I should just let it go
If I ask she is going to deny though isnt she? I dont want to end up having argument on the doorstep when she comes to pick him up in front of the kids.
Also the kids go to a club together so I will have to see her there and the kids will have to see eachother there

OP posts:
Bramble71 · 24/03/2018 16:50

It has to have come from his mother. She's awful for slagging you off in her kids' presence, yet still wanting you to take care of her offspring.

I don't think you should just let it go. I'd probably distance myself as I wouldn't want the confrontation, but if you want to see her fall over herself with embarrassment, go for it! :-)

Idontdowindows · 24/03/2018 16:51

"I don't think your son enjoys his time with me, as apparently he believes I'm a bad mum, so it's probably best if you find someone he does enjoy spending time with.*

Or words to that effect ;)

NotTakenUsername · 24/03/2018 16:52

Ooops. This mummy isn’t so great herself if she has got to having a 5year old without thinking about ‘little ears’...

If the kids are friends I’d mostly let it go, after embarrassing her slightly for my own sadistic enjoyment. If it is primarily a childcare agreement I’d reconsider my position on that.

Ellie56 · 24/03/2018 16:54

So the "bad mummy" is good enough to look after her child. Hmm

KittenBeast · 24/03/2018 16:55

upsideup don't get het up at her or cause a row by going in all guns blazing, smile sweetly and say something like "isn't it funny the things kids come out with! You don't think I'm a bad mum, right?" and then tell her what a delight her kid has been and hand him back. it'll shit her up.

gillybeanz · 24/03/2018 16:57

Maybe send a message back.

She is a bad mummy for giving her ds too much cake, and rotting his teeth.
He's a bad daddy for not washing up and doing the school run.

kimanda · 24/03/2018 16:57

What a horrible nasty jealous cow this woman is.

Obviously reinforcing the patriarchal bollocks that housework and childcare is women's work.

I would have a word with her and ask her who the fuck she thinks she is!

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 24/03/2018 16:57

Revenge is a dish best served cold

Wait until she asks for a favour - and then laughing say ‘are you sure DS wants to come here ? He said I was a bad mummy because I did A B C . Honestly I got the impression he didn’t approve of the set up here !

Then smile and watch the bitch squirm

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 24/03/2018 16:58

Yes, for sure, let her know. Don't nanny him again.

Idobelieveinfairies2018 · 24/03/2018 16:59

must have come from 1 of his parents and I would be seriously tempted to say "oh that's not a bad mommy, a bad mommy is when mommies say horrible things about other mommies" and then let the chips fall where they may. I'd also tell the mother that I couldn't look after her child anymore as the child thought I was a bad mum.
Let the cf find some1 else to do her 'emergency' childcare

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Andbabymakesthree · 24/03/2018 16:59

Just tell her straight.
Your son said x y z. Clearly he's over heard adults talking. I'm disappointed if that's what you think.

Andbabymakesthree · 24/03/2018 17:00

And what is the childcare "emergency"

Mishappening · 24/03/2018 17:02

I'd just laugh and ignore it TBH. Not worth breaking a sweat over.

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