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To be inwardly screaming.......

(131 Posts)
LuxembergerQueen92 Thu 22-Mar-18 15:39:21

A woman in my office who often refers to her phone as her moby has just gone to a meeting with her "lappy" (laptop) ...inwardly I am going
aaaaaarghhhhhh.........(it's been a long week).angry

UpstartCrow Thu 22-Mar-18 15:41:00

Frozen leg of lamb, eat the evidence. Or, elastic band office gun and an ice bullet. Do it.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo Thu 22-Mar-18 15:42:51

grin

UpstartCrow Thu 22-Mar-18 15:44:17

Arrange to swap hits with another Mumsnetter. no one will ever work it out. You can saunter in with a cheery whistle looking all innocent.
Practice looking surprised and a bit sad.

LuxembergerQueen92 Thu 22-Mar-18 15:49:50

I am practicing my sad/shocked face now at the untimely demise of said co-workersad.......

Mikklehaha Thu 22-Mar-18 15:49:58

😳 I call it a moby too 😳
‘Lappy’ - definitely give her a slap. 🤪

dingdongdigeridoo Thu 22-Mar-18 15:51:39

Only inwardly screaming? You are a much more zen person than me.

Although I did used to sit next to a woman who’d come in every morning and announce ‘only X days until my holibobs!’

OneFineDaye Thu 22-Mar-18 15:53:03

It’s been quite day, but this has really made me laugh 😂, thanks OP.

PinkHeart5914 Thu 22-Mar-18 15:57:06

Lappy, blimey what she needs is a slappy wink

Does she also have a drinky? And of course a biccie?

LuxembergerQueen92 Thu 22-Mar-18 15:59:11

Holibobs!! Fuck me that's another one she uses.....I definitely have to arrange a hit...angry

JustTerfingAlong1 Thu 22-Mar-18 16:00:21

Does she have a hubby as well?

Kill her now. It's the kindest option... grin

giveitfive Thu 22-Mar-18 16:01:37

Omg. This sounds just like someone I used to work with. I had to take the day off on her last day because people would have noticed how overjoyed I was that she was leaving... also a fan of booking her "holibobs" in everyone's diarys and abbreviating people's names to an almost offensive level.... underneath the veneer of of jollity she was actually an utter cunt.

LuxembergerQueen92 Thu 22-Mar-18 16:03:33

And...And...she doesn't approve of swearing! Bollocks to that - if I've had a trying day my language can become a little bit coarse.....grin

cjt110 Thu 22-Mar-18 16:08:35

I hope to god she doesn't use "Famalam" for family....

Just call her cuntychops and be done.

dingdongdigeridoo Thu 22-Mar-18 16:09:07

Oh god, doesn't like swearing. One of THOSE. Does she also get really passive aggressive? We had one who thought she was the office mum and would tell you off for swearing. She was lazy and useless at her job.

It made me laugh when, out of her team of five, four of the people she managed quit within a month of each other.

minionsrule Thu 22-Mar-18 16:09:32

Spready for a spreadsheet. ... new one i learnt today 😕

ikeepaforkinmypurse Thu 22-Mar-18 16:10:13

what she needs is a slappy
gringringrin

I'd go for the ice bullet, you just need an alibi.

TheVanguardSix Thu 22-Mar-18 16:11:24

Moby... haven't used that term since the turn of this fucked up century. How very '99!
Lappy? She just signed her own death warrant, right there.
A big slappy for lappy.
Moby is cringe enough on its own.

ikeepaforkinmypurse Thu 22-Mar-18 16:11:31

don't start a thread about swearing in the office, there was one about a complaint made against a shouty swearer, that turned pretty nasty pretty quickly!

BustopherJones Thu 22-Mar-18 16:13:45

@minions that is the worst one yet. Who wants to give spreadsheets a nickname?

helpconfused Thu 22-Mar-18 16:14:05

My cousin (let's call him bob) had a girlfriend who referred to his parents as 'mummy bob bob' and 'daddy bob bob'. His sister was guess who... 'sister bob bob'

She was in her 30s. hmm

LuxembergerQueen92 Thu 22-Mar-18 16:14:14

She is actually quite passive aggressive.......hmm does indeed have a hubby but no children...her cats are her babies..........hmm

PlausibleSuit Thu 22-Mar-18 16:15:15

I used to work with someone who called their phone a 'mobbelly-bobbelly'.

UpstartCrow Thu 22-Mar-18 16:16:23

Remember not to make an appeal on Crimewatch, they are usually the one wot done it.

coolcahuna Thu 22-Mar-18 16:21:25

One of my contacts at work used to call a spreadsheet 'a spreadie'. It literally gave me the rage!

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