Almost divorced, middle aged with children, haven't socialised much in quite a while.
I have been in touch with a couple of old friends. One I was very good friends with for a long time but have seen little of each other past 10 years.
We're meeting up next weekend and he suggested he'd cook and we'd hang out at his with lots of good wine.
Id mentioned not having lots of money for big nights out which is why he suggested this.
Am I being unreasonable completely ridiculous to wonder if that's appropriate? I feel so silly asking but I'm not used to socialising as a single grown up. Stupidly I'm nervous about it seeming in anyway date like but I know that it's only as friends.
Only inappropriate if one of you behaves in an inappropriate manner. Both DH & I have friends of the opposite sex with whom we 'hang out' have dinner and so on. Sometimes independently, sometimes as a couple, but more frequently independently.
I wouldn't have questioned it when younger or with ex. We both had friends of opposite sex. I've been a bit cut off and it feels completely different getting back to socialising as a single person after nearly 20 years.
It sounds like a date to me! He may not be thinking that it is, but then again he may be hoping for something to happen between you. If that’s not your intention then you need to make that clear, either beforehand or on the night.
I would go, enjoy yourself and if he suggests anything other than friends at the moment tell him you are not ready for that and sorry if you gave him the wrong impression but at the moment you just need a good friend and some adult company, he will then decide if he wants the same, if he asks to see you again you are both on the same page, if not, you haven’t lost anything and he is not too upset. You never know he may be a good friend going forward and you don’t want to miss out on that. I think you are just a bit nervous, but just enjoy yourself and make sure you both know where you stand at all times so you can both relax.
Lay out your expectations beforehand Ie lots of chat about “can’t wait to catch up with an old mate” / “be lovely to have an evening of two friends together” / “Sally told me to try OLD but I’m definitely not up for dating anybody right now” etc