To think this is a bit rough?

[MrsMaxwell]

DS1 did his Silver D of E practise this weekend in the snow etc.

I am quite proud of him doing this as his has high functioning ASD but I have always treated him like my other kids and had the same expectations of him and he has always accepted this and actually coped well with most things. I am not really inviting opinions on that I just don’t want to drip feed.

He was responsible for bringing the tent home and washing it. He was at his dads sat night (his dad collected him with said tent and washed his clothes so he’s not a twat) and when DS got home last night our outside tap was frozen and he couldn’t wash the tent off (we have a tiny patio garden).

The tent has to be back today.

I told DS I would email the teacher and explain and it would be brought back tomoz, he didn’t want me to but took the tent back today unwashed (as in his literal thinking the tent needed to ba back today - whatever - but I don’t think DS explained about the tap).

He had to take his backpack back this morning and he gets the bus (another massive achievement in yr 11) and I was starting a new job so could not give him a lift.

Anyway he had got in the shit for the tent, his whole group have had to take their backpacks back home tonight and have to take them back again tomorrow when DS needs to produce the clean dry tent.

He has hoses it down and it’s currently spread out drying over our dining room table as he hung it on the line and it froze.

AIBU to think this is a little bit fucking unfair?

🙈

[OwlinaTree]

Yes, it's not really fair to expect the tent to be dry in this weather. I would not have room in my house to spread out and dry a tent.

[user365241987]

Well done to your son. YANBU

[MrsMaxwell]

I don’t really want it over my dining room table but DS has been out there in the bloody freezing cold trying to do it as he hates breaking rules

[MrsMaxwell]

I kind of feel like an exception could be made as a) the tent isn’t needed this week and b) the weather is rather extreme for March!

[Idontdowindows]

You are not being unreasonable. Washing a tent in this weather is stupid.

[OwlinaTree]

They could spread it out in the school hall I expect

[MrsMaxwell]

You think I should suggest he suggests that if it’s still damp in the morning and he says we don’t have anywhere to dry it?

[MrsMaxwell]

I don’t want him to fail or feel he’s let the group down as it’s such a big thing for him to socialise like this - but we have also never asked for special treatment.

[flowerslemonade]

Oh gosh, you'd think they could make an exception under the circumstances.

[MrsMaxwell]

Right the heating is up full whack and dining room door closed and tent now feeling less frozen and pretty dry - phew!!

[BackforGood]

I suspect something has got lost in translation here.

1. 'washing' a tent sounds odd
   
2. clearly you wouldn't be able to have dried it, in this weather in time
   
3. The school won't be needing it during the week.
   

I think you should have over-ruled him and e-mailed the teacher, offering a choice of either returning the tent as it is, or waiting until the weather improves and you can dry it on the line (if you don't have a garage / conservatory you can dry it in). There's no way I would be either washing a tent in the snow, nor drying it in the dining room - at any time (and I've been a Scout Leader, and parent of Scout for more years than I care to remember).

[blueskypink]

I don't think it would be asking for special treatment if you emailed the teacher and explained what has happened. The weather and poor drying conditions have nothing to do with your DS's ASD. Any child could have faced the same problems getting a tent washed and dried at the moment.

I'd be asking the teacher if they had any advice on how to dry a tent overnight.

[cherish123]

The school is being ridiculous. It would be easier if the tents were laid out in the school hall and cleaned there.

[blueskypink]

Also you should be extremely proud of him - not quite proud.

[MrsMaxwell]

I know it is nuts and we don’t have anywhere to dry it other than our dining room table where it is actually drying!!

I am really trying to help him navigate the world independently (he’s nearly 16) and he has actually found a solution with a bit of help from me.

I do feel bad that he feels responsible for his team members having to traipse homecwitu their backpacks but hopefully their parents will also feel it is a bit

[MrsMaxwell]

I am extremely proud of him honestly - he is also doing NCS in the summer.

[tootiredtospeak]

Id be sure this was the exact message. My 16yr old DS with high functioning autism says stuff all the time how he has to do stuff. If this was him what would have been said is maybe fetch it back when its dry. He would interpret it differently. Causes so many conversations with him and school ect we always get to the bottom of what was actually said in the end.

[SpringNowPlease2018]

YANBU
Who's got space to wash and dry a tent in this weather?
I would tell the teacher to check their privilege if they think everyone's got those facilities!

[MrsMaxwell]

He was panicking it would blow away outside but I said I would be more worried about it freezing love which is when we came up with the dining table solution as clothes dryer covered in damp clothes.

It clearly had frozen and I really wish I could have delivered it back to school like that

[MrsMaxwell]

He was out there with his head torch on bless him 😂

[Spookle]

Numpties. Them of course.

Will DS have to do a write up of the weekend? If so then try to get him to look at the positives. He applied initiative and energy in solving a problem under difficult conditions to a tight timescale and under duress. A job done in fine style. Tell them he has been inspired to write a blog called 50 uses for your hairdryer.

Well done DS, you should be proud.

[LittleLeaseQuery]

That’s ridiculous. If they were that worried, one of the adults with suitable drying space should have taken it to wash it.

We’re pretty anal with our tent and it generally ends up getting unpacked when we get home to make sure it’s clean & dry - but we’re not 16 and we have a good drying space. I’d never expect anyone to dry it in their house. I’d never dry it in the house as it’s bound to ruin something (table, floors etc).


You should be proud he’s doing so well 😊

[MrsMaxwell]

I am very proud of him.

He hates being “labelled” and wants to try to do everything - but double edged sword sometimes with the stickler for the rules and fighting against himself.

I love him to bits he had a friend round the other day for the first time ever (he is 16 this week). I asked if he though said friend would come over again. He said “hopefully not” - this is his best friend!

[AnnieAnoniMouse]

Sorry, my punctuation was off there. It should have read ‘You should be proud, he’s doing so well’. Agreeing you were right to be proud, not telling you that you should be.

The ‘stickler for rules’ does my head in 😖 as I’m not one for petty rules myself and can be, ermmm, picky about which I follow 😂. It is hard.

I asked if he though said friend would come over again. He said “hopefully not” - this is his best friend!

🤣😂

I love the honestly - most of the time, occasionally it’s at a tad brutal!

I often wonder what it would be like if we all had HF ASD.

[Allgirlskidsanddogs]

That’s an unfair expectation from School given the weather. I have a big enough house to have the room to dry a tent indoors, but I couldn’t afford the heating in this weather to whack it up on High to get the tent dry.
I’m hoping you’ve got it sorted by now. I’m also aware that some of the message is likely to have been lost in translation as often happens between School and home.