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AIBU?

DD 17 has gained 2 stones in 9 months AIBU to be worried ?

93 replies

Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 09:43

My DD 17 yr old has gained 2 stones in 9 months. She has always been healthy, sporty and satisfied with her appearance and has had a good relation with food. In April last year though due to persistent facial acne we went to the doctors who advised she started taking the pill to see if that helped, which it did and at that time she weighed 8 stones. By August, acne was back, not as bad but doc put her on antibiotic tablets as well. Big improvement after that, but not sure which of the 2 things was helping the most. By September, weight gain was apparent but we put it down to having moved to the UK (lived abroad before August) and she has a lot more choice of foods here. I mention this because 2 1/2 years ago she was diagnosed with various food intolerances (before diagnosis it was very scary for her - intermittent pains in joints and muscles all over her body).
By September we were noticing a lot of mood swings in her and she also started to say she couldn't stop eating, she never felt full and didn't feel in control of herself around food. Her weight gain was noticeable in her clothes but she didn't weigh herself during all this time. I took it lightly, because I know she only eats and home and I know what's in my cupboards or else when we are out as a family and I couldn't really see that she was binging that much, so I told her not to worry, do more exercise as she wasn't being as active and chill about it. Finally though came to the conclusion ourselves that she should stop the pill to see if this helped with moodiness and weight. This she did in October. Since then moods are a lot better though she hasn't had a single period (which I find worrying too) though she has continued to gain weight to the point that on 3rd Feb at the doctors she weighed 10 1/2 stones. Doc not too concerned but we asked to get to see a diet specialist DD herself thought this external help would be positive for her. Still waiting for the appointment. Lately she is being very careful with what she eats and being more active but feels bad about herself and she is plagued by stretch marks all over her legs and bum. (btw no acne, but still on antibiotics). I want to help but I don't know how to. Her mental health concerns me the most. Any suggestions will be very welcome. Thank you very much.

OP posts:
needmysleep75 · 19/03/2018 10:45

How tall is she? Was she technically underweight at 8st? A lot of girls put on weight at that age, but it does depend on if she is still a healthy weight or not

NancyDonahue · 19/03/2018 10:53

Assuming she's fully grown and an average height, 10.5 stone is a perfectly normal weight. Did she have a growth spurt in the 9 months?

If she's not happy then the usual good diet and exercise is all that's needed to maintain or lose weight if that's what she wants. Can you join a gym together or find a class? As a family try and make your diet healthier.

l think insisting on seeing a dietician could be making her feel that she's got a problem when she's a perfectly normal young woman.

The periods are a worry but I don't think it's that unusual to be a bit messed up after coming off the pill.

Graphista · 19/03/2018 10:56

May seem odd but are you absolutely sure she's not pregnant? Weight gain, mood swings, lack of periods...

Seeline · 19/03/2018 10:57

Could the food intolerances mean that she is not eating a healthy, balanced diet?

No periods and weight gain - there is no way she could be pregnant is there?

JintyandtheJs · 19/03/2018 10:57

Consider PCOS. Get a blood test.

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 19/03/2018 11:05

I would ask her to go see a dr, that's a lot of weight to gain for such a short space of time...there are conditions that can cause weight gain and/or acne (Ovarian Cysts, or even PCOS for example), she really should get it checked out

Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 11:07

She is 1,65 cm tall, at 8 stone I don't think she was underweight at all, she was average size and well proportioned. Now with the extra 2 stone she has filled up all over. 100 % she is not pregnant.
She is exercising and walking instead of taking the bus. We eat healthily too.

OP posts:
Annabelle4 · 19/03/2018 11:11

Gosh OP, I think you need to be careful. It might have just been a growth spurt and she's reached her adult weight?
I remember my weight and shape changing quite suddenly as a teen.

WazzitCalled · 19/03/2018 11:15

I don't think this is too much to worry about. It's easy to put weight on quickly especially when your hormones/medication are telling you that you are starving. It also doesn't help that it's been winter so easy to ignore the bulges under clothes
I'd just tell her that you will help her lose the weight slowly and carefully.
You often get stretch marks st that age even without rapid weight loss.

LaurieFairyCake · 19/03/2018 11:16

Both weights are healthy. If she stabilises at 10st 7lb then that is a perfectly healthy adult weight

DD 17 has gained 2 stones in 9 months AIBU to be worried ?
DD 17 has gained 2 stones in 9 months AIBU to be worried ?
TempusFugitive · 19/03/2018 11:20

I'd say nothing negative for now.

As a teen I ate rings around myself and then one day I noticed blimey I'm a bit plump. I had to readjust things, snack less, think about what I'd eaten more and I did that, but I always HATED it when my mother commented.

I've a teenage daughter and I think she's heading towards being overweight. It's a tough one.

Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 11:21

I will see about getting an appointment with a gyno
She eats lots of fruit and veg and pulses,lentils, quinoa, brown rice, homemade soups. Fish and meat (though we are cutting down) etc. Has the odd GF treat like pizza or cookies but nothing OTT. What she eats doesn't seem to be so excessive for the amount of weight gained (I know she doesn't have any cheat food stashed away either). I snack far more than her (crisps, biscuits, chocolate) and I've never gained weight at such a fast rate.
I don't want her to obsess about it but she is feeling unhappy all the time. Did think
a dietician could result supportive.

OP posts:
Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 11:22

No growth spurt, has been same height since she was 15

OP posts:
iLoveABiccy · 19/03/2018 11:22

I'm 165cm and if I was 10st7lb at 17 I would have felt very uncomfortable with my weight. I reckon the medication is affecting her hormones & maybe it'll subside afterwards, just becareful with what she eats

RidingWindhorses · 19/03/2018 11:22

One of my best friends put on a huge amount of weight with the pill.

whampiece · 19/03/2018 11:25

Omg she has grown Hmm

Seriously, let this one go. She is a healthy weight.

DobbyisFREE · 19/03/2018 11:27

I went on the implant and all of this happened to me, I'm so hungry all the time and getting so big none of my clothes fit me. I hate it but there's not really much out there that doesn't have similar side effects. I think I'll probably go on the copper coil when I can get the time off work.

My mood swings are awful and my periods are just confusing. I've had 8 months off followed by 8 weeks on and I've had 3 days off followed by 2 weeks on. It's really so over the place that none of what you have said sounds unusual - I wish it was though Sad

FancyNewBeesly · 19/03/2018 11:27

Please tread carefully OP. The last thing you want to do is give her a complex about her weight and at that age it’s easily done.

If her weight genuinely seems disproportionate to her intake and exercise levels, have doctors run some blood tests to be sure her thyroid and other things are okay?

Does she have any other symptoms (pelvic pain, increase in facial / body Hair)?

I got awful stretch marks about that age and I was significantly underweight. It’s not uncommon sadly.

Graphista · 19/03/2018 11:28

She hasn't grown in height AT ALL in 2 years? If you're certain of that I'd be pushing for a referral to an endocrinologist

MyNewBearTotoro · 19/03/2018 11:29

According to the NHS bmi calculator 7st 13ibs to 10st 11ibs are all within the healthy range for someone 165cm. So at 8st she was really at the very lowest healthy weight for her height. I would be concerned that she feels negative about her body image when she is still at a healthy weight - it sounds like her perceptions of what constitutes as healthy might be skewed. I agree the problem seems to be with her mental health and I would be working to make her feel good with her body as it is now, at a healthy weight, rather than striving to go back to her body a year ago. It’s usual for people put on some weight as they move out of their teens and into adulthood but so long as your DD is healthy don’t focus on getting back to her old weight and focus on her learning to love her body as it is.

That said, if her acne has cleared up I would be looking at why she is still on the antibiotic. Some medications can effect metabolism/ appetite etc and long-term use of antibiotics isn’t ideal.

Annabelle4 · 19/03/2018 11:29

Graphista, I don't think it's unusual for girls to reach their adult height at 15.

Floofborkboopandsnoot · 19/03/2018 11:32

If the doctor isn’t worried then why are you? Surely he knows more about what’s healthy and what’s not? You say she herself is unhappy but are you sure this isn’t down to you obsessing over how much weight she’s put on? I’d just let it go, if actually becomes an unhealthy weight then start worrying then but leave the poor girl alone before she develops some serious body issues.

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Humptyabouttofall · 19/03/2018 11:36

She is conscientious about all important factors - sleeping well, exercising, good diet even doing yoga and wants to start meditation. I'm personally about it being an underlying hormonal problem. She's had loads of blood tests in the past before detecting her food intolerances. Thyroid and hormone screens have always been ok.

OP posts:
RidingWindhorses · 19/03/2018 11:38

That said, if her acne has cleared up I would be looking at why she is still on the antibiotic

Because you need to be on the for a long time and it can come back if you stop.

Happymummy1991 · 19/03/2018 11:38

Have to say I find this all a bit odd. At 17 my mum had absolutely no idea how much I weighed. I think you should try not to be concerned in her weight at all as I'm sorry to say I don't really think it's any of your business. You may well be making her worried about it when she shouldn't be. Loads of reasons weight could fluctuate at that age it's totally normal. At 17 she is pretty much an adult and you seem to be overly involved in what she eats and does etc. Maybe that is just my experience of my relationship with my mum at that age and that was unusual?

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