Over the lack of contact when he's away?

[CurlyRover]

DP travels a few times a year with work for a week at a time. Every time he goes away we have very limited contact as he very rarely messages me and if he does it's a very short text. I know there's a time difference of 5 - 7 hours depending on where he goes but it's not that difficult to drop someone a few texts surely?

Every time he goes away I get a one word text to say he's landed yet he can update his Facebook status with a lot more. But when he's in the UK he barely goes near Facebook.

Then throughout the week I end up with a one word text at bedtime saying Night (but not the first night) and maybe one or two texts during the day.

AIBU to think this is a pathetic amount of contact and to feel he really does not prioritising talking to me?

[MadRainbow]

Perhaps he's worried about roaming charges? WiFi is free in most places now which I imagine is why he'll update Facebook as opposed to texting especially if he rarely uses it at home. Plus it could be a 2 birds 1 stone kinda situation? It is also a work trip maybe he feels he can't be too personal

Does he use whatsapp? If not perhaps that would be a way for him to get you a more personal message?

[CurlyRover]

He does use WhatsApp MadRainbow.

The first few times he went away he said he had difficulty finding a Wi-Fi point and didn't want to end up with charges - but then got lots of charges by texting his ex!! Then after a year or so he ended up getting a work phone. Since its a one off daily fee for using his work phone abroad and he would need to use it for work purposes anyway, he said he'd use that to text me.

But he still doesn't much. I feel Facebook is so impersonal especially as he doesn't use it very much at all in the UK.

[NeeChee]

YANBU if he is still texting his ex. Do they have children together though?
I get a phone call every night when DP is working away, unless he finishes really late. He does tend to work as long as he can so he can set off home in good time, so I let him ring me. 95% of the time he manages to fit in a quick phone call between getting back to the hotel, getting dinner, a bath and bed.

[YoumeandlittleP]

Is his job demanding? Is he there to partially socialise?

I ask because my dh has a job which means he's away a lot and very rarely has means to contact us at all. He checks in when he can but essentially he's away working, not having a fun time so I don't expect to hear from him very often. It would be a bit different if he was somewhere with adequate signal and not putting in many hours but I see it that he talks when he can.

[MadRainbow]

Then as NeeChee said YANBU if he's run up charges texting his ex, unless they have children together?

Have you told him how impersonal you find Facebook? Some people put far more weight to it than others and he may feel he is still getting you a decent message through that?

[CurlyRover]

He knows I find Facebook impersonal.

It was just the one time he went away he was texting his ex and not the one he has DC with. In his defence she was texting him a barrage of abuse which cost him to receive due to being away and then he increased his charges by responded. Personally I would've just waited until I'd returned but may be that's just me.

NeeChee I wish we had a phone call every night.

His job can be demanding, he generally goes away for conferences so depending on how busy the booth is, what talks he goes to etc depends how busy he can be and then sometimes it's for customer visits which I completely understand he can't talk much then.

I understand he's knackered when he gets there, normally he's been awake for 24 hours by the time he arrives but I just wish we spoke more during the rest of the week

[user1471459936]

What does he say when you ask him about the lack of contact?