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AIBU?

To wonder if everyone lives in a mess??

222 replies

user1472151176 · 18/03/2018 15:08

I'm a SAHM and have been for the past 18 months. I have one child at school and one toddler at home with me. My house is always a mess! I'm sure my house used to be tidier when I worked 4 days a week. I genuinely believed my house would be tidier if I was at home all day but it isn't. My days fly past.
I often wonder what other peoples houses are like and if they would still be immaculate if I spontaneously 'dropped by'.
There is always food on the table and clean clothes to wear but I never seem to be able to get on top of it all.
Tell me I'm not alone Confused?!?!
I do have a DH. He works long hours and doesn't do any housework but he does help with the kids and cooking and gardening and tidys up the front room every night when I put the kids to bed.

OP posts:
MsVestibule · 18/03/2018 15:18

No, not everyone lives in a mess! I'm sure some people are naturally tidy, or just prioritise tidying over doing other stuff.

Sadly, I'm not one of those people...

Thinkingofausername1 · 18/03/2018 15:36

Ours is a tip. I actually hate living here because no matter what I do to declutter etc, I uncover more shit and junkSad. I get cross with inlaws; for constantly passing on magazines they pile up around our bedroom, because dh wants to 'hang on' to them

Littlelambpeep · 18/03/2018 15:39

Find it hard .. ours looks tidy now because I sent so much to the charity shop and keep up to date with washing etc. But the toilets need a scrub. All floors need scrubbing and good hoovet thoughout. Mostly like this.

fiorentina · 18/03/2018 15:40

I hate mess so no my house is always tidy. I do work hard to keep it tidy as I can’t relax in mess. My problem not anyone else’s..

Bluelady · 18/03/2018 15:42

We go in cycles. It's a tip and.i can't stand it anymore. Que massive blitz, it's immaculate and I'm exhausted. It gradually degenerates until it's a tip once more. Repeat cycle.

crazydoglady6867 · 18/03/2018 15:44

Everyone is different, we both work full time, have no cleaner yet out house is spotless, but that is how we like it, if you and your family don’t mind a mess then why change.

TheQueenOfWands · 18/03/2018 15:44

My house is immaculate but my head is a mess.

Grass isn't always greener.

caperberries · 18/03/2018 15:48

Our house was fairly chaotic when I was a SAHM with 3 young children. Now the dc are older, the house is much tidier. But lots of our friends (with older dc) have messy/untidy houses. My two messiest friends are very lovely, academic, artistic people, whilst some of the dullest people I know (cough... MIL...cough cough) have immaculate homes.

Unless a house it wretchedly filthy and unhygienic, I don't judge particularly.

pallisers · 18/03/2018 15:49

I think it does come down to the person in the end. I hate clutter so am good at getting rid of stuff like newspapers, magazines, paperwork, random crap. Luckily dh is the same. My parents kept all that stuff around so our house was pretty messy.

I also rarely think about tidying/cleaning up, I just do it as I go along. For example I just stuck my coffee in the microwave to heat up. I noticed the counter was sticky so wiped it down while waiting for the coffee. In my mind that isn't cleaning up it is just occupying the time.

I don't think one way is worse than the other unless you hate the mess (my parents quite liked the mess).

It is also easier to keep a house clean if you are out at work and not using the house every day.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 18/03/2018 15:50

Mine has cars, books, pens & Lego, literally, all over it-I do tidy but it really is a pointless exercise 😞 It is clean though.

venys · 18/03/2018 15:50

Yep our house is atrocious. Not helped by lack of storage - which we try to sort, but it's complicated and getting builders to do every little bit takes a very long time and energy you could be spending on cleaning. My kids are very very demanding, but I prioritise their welfare over a tidy house as there is only so much we can do without being interrupted - which is demoralising in itself. I don't have anyone around to our house as I can't be bothered being judged.

Mammalamb · 18/03/2018 15:52

If I’m not at work for a few days our house gets a mess as we are in it creating a mess. I personally find tidying and cleaning while toddlers and babies are about a bit of a nightmare! X

venys · 18/03/2018 15:52

SAHM with three kids including a toddler home 24/7. No childcare or cleaner.

Chocolate1984 · 18/03/2018 15:54

It's easy to keep a house clean when no one is there to mess it up. When you've got kids at home you create mess doing activities, cooking, eating & everything else.

I found the house easy to keep clean when I had a baby that took regular naps & when I was working. Once I had two kids I had no spare time to clean properly & the kids could create a mess quicker than I could clean.

ShutUpBaz · 18/03/2018 15:55

We can't live in mess and the house is always clean. We both work shifts (me 4.5 days, DH 5-7 days a week) with DD9 and DS7 both at school. Our house is just too small for loads of clutter and we all tidy/clean as we go and are brutal with chucking stuff out. It gets less messy now as we are all out of the house the majority of the day. The kids are involved in the chores and have been since they were small.

CouldYouBeMorePacific · 18/03/2018 15:55

You just run around like a headless chicken tidying when they're young. You clean one bit and they've trashed somewhere else whilst you were doing it

PumpkinPie2016 · 18/03/2018 15:58

Mine generally falls somewhere inbetween - not a top but not spotless either. I work full time and DS does school hours at preschool sonwe are not there to make that much less in the week. DH is often around though and can be quite messy Angry

I can't stand it a total top so try to keep on top of it.

Savemefromthe · 18/03/2018 15:58

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Heismyopendoor · 18/03/2018 15:58

We don’t live in A mess. Of purse our house gets messy in the day but gets sorted as we go as I can’t stand it. I also don’t like clutter so it’s pretty easy to tidy and clean.

Haisuli · 18/03/2018 16:01

Same as Bluelady, we have a massive blitz when it can't be coped with anymore, or if friends/family/workmen are expected, but it can be quite bad before it's tackled. We keep on top of washing up and washing clothes and putting them away, but the rest of it is very hit and miss.

SmallBlondeMama · 18/03/2018 16:05

If your a neat person, your house will be neat. If your messy, house will be messy. Hire a cleaning lady!

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 18/03/2018 16:07

Mess makes me feel unsettled, so I try to keep things relatively tidy.
I must admit though that my standards for things being tidy are not particularly high.

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dudsville · 18/03/2018 16:08

I've found that while standards may slip with life changes, trends have remained. My friends who used to be super tidy are still quite tidy and my friends who never cleaned now can't be found under the mess.

flippyfloppyflower · 18/03/2018 16:09

I'm one of those folk who loves housework. I can sit and stare at it for hours whilst drinking a cuppa and enjoying a biscuit Smile

Seriously - I am naturally untidy but my home is clean at the corners and I blitz when I need to. As my old mum used to say "no-one on their death bed has ever said "I wish I had done more housework""

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 18/03/2018 16:11

No, I don't live in a mess, but everything has a place and everything gets tidied up as we go along.

When the kids are playing, there are toys everywhere,it's lived-in. However, there's no clothes/shoes/paperwork/laundry lying around.

It's much easier to keep the house tidy when you are not at home! If you take the kids out all day, no one messes up anything. It's when you are all home that you need to keep on top of it.

I am happier and a lot more relax in a tidy house, so it is tidy: coats get put away when we come in, and so on. It takes just as long as throwing then on the floor.

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