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To wonder if everyone lives in a mess??

(223 Posts)
user1472151176 Sun 18-Mar-18 15:08:07

I'm a SAHM and have been for the past 18 months. I have one child at school and one toddler at home with me. My house is always a mess! I'm sure my house used to be tidier when I worked 4 days a week. I genuinely believed my house would be tidier if I was at home all day but it isn't. My days fly past.
I often wonder what other peoples houses are like and if they would still be immaculate if I spontaneously 'dropped by'.
There is always food on the table and clean clothes to wear but I never seem to be able to get on top of it all.
Tell me I'm not alone confused?!?!
I do have a DH. He works long hours and doesn't do any housework but he does help with the kids and cooking and gardening and tidys up the front room every night when I put the kids to bed.

MsVestibule Sun 18-Mar-18 15:18:24

No, not everyone lives in a mess! I'm sure some people are naturally tidy, or just prioritise tidying over doing other stuff.

Sadly, I'm not one of those people...

Thinkingofausername1 Sun 18-Mar-18 15:36:52

Ours is a tip. I actually hate living here because no matter what I do to declutter etc, I uncover more shit and junksad. I get cross with inlaws; for constantly passing on magazines they pile up around our bedroom, because dh wants to 'hang on' to them

Littlelambpeep Sun 18-Mar-18 15:39:11

Find it hard .. ours looks tidy now because I sent so much to the charity shop and keep up to date with washing etc. But the toilets need a scrub. All floors need scrubbing and good hoovet thoughout. Mostly like this.

fiorentina Sun 18-Mar-18 15:40:01

I hate mess so no my house is always tidy. I do work hard to keep it tidy as I can’t relax in mess. My problem not anyone else’s..

Bluelady Sun 18-Mar-18 15:42:51

We go in cycles. It's a tip and.i can't stand it anymore. Que massive blitz, it's immaculate and I'm exhausted. It gradually degenerates until it's a tip once more. Repeat cycle.

crazydoglady6867 Sun 18-Mar-18 15:44:39

Everyone is different, we both work full time, have no cleaner yet out house is spotless, but that is how we like it, if you and your family don’t mind a mess then why change.

TheQueenOfWands Sun 18-Mar-18 15:44:44

My house is immaculate but my head is a mess.

Grass isn't always greener.

caperberries Sun 18-Mar-18 15:48:14

Our house was fairly chaotic when I was a SAHM with 3 young children. Now the dc are older, the house is much tidier. But lots of our friends (with older dc) have messy/untidy houses. My two messiest friends are very lovely, academic, artistic people, whilst some of the dullest people I know (cough... MIL...cough cough) have immaculate homes.

Unless a house it wretchedly filthy and unhygienic, I don't judge particularly.

pallisers Sun 18-Mar-18 15:49:52

I think it does come down to the person in the end. I hate clutter so am good at getting rid of stuff like newspapers, magazines, paperwork, random crap. Luckily dh is the same. My parents kept all that stuff around so our house was pretty messy.

I also rarely think about tidying/cleaning up, I just do it as I go along. For example I just stuck my coffee in the microwave to heat up. I noticed the counter was sticky so wiped it down while waiting for the coffee. In my mind that isn't cleaning up it is just occupying the time.

I don't think one way is worse than the other unless you hate the mess (my parents quite liked the mess).

It is also easier to keep a house clean if you are out at work and not using the house every day.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Sun 18-Mar-18 15:50:51

Mine has cars, books, pens & Lego, literally, all over it-I do tidy but it really is a pointless exercise 😞 It is clean though.

venys Sun 18-Mar-18 15:50:52

Yep our house is atrocious. Not helped by lack of storage - which we try to sort, but it's complicated and getting builders to do every little bit takes a very long time and energy you could be spending on cleaning. My kids are very very demanding, but I prioritise their welfare over a tidy house as there is only so much we can do without being interrupted - which is demoralising in itself. I don't have anyone around to our house as I can't be bothered being judged.

Mammalamb Sun 18-Mar-18 15:52:18

If I’m not at work for a few days our house gets a mess as we are in it creating a mess. I personally find tidying and cleaning while toddlers and babies are about a bit of a nightmare! X

venys Sun 18-Mar-18 15:52:24

SAHM with three kids including a toddler home 24/7. No childcare or cleaner.

Chocolate1984 Sun 18-Mar-18 15:54:57

It's easy to keep a house clean when no one is there to mess it up. When you've got kids at home you create mess doing activities, cooking, eating & everything else.

I found the house easy to keep clean when I had a baby that took regular naps & when I was working. Once I had two kids I had no spare time to clean properly & the kids could create a mess quicker than I could clean.

ShutUpBaz Sun 18-Mar-18 15:55:08

We can't live in mess and the house is always clean. We both work shifts (me 4.5 days, DH 5-7 days a week) with DD9 and DS7 both at school. Our house is just too small for loads of clutter and we all tidy/clean as we go and are brutal with chucking stuff out. It gets less messy now as we are all out of the house the majority of the day. The kids are involved in the chores and have been since they were small.

CouldYouBeMorePacific Sun 18-Mar-18 15:55:25

You just run around like a headless chicken tidying when they're young. You clean one bit and they've trashed somewhere else whilst you were doing it

PumpkinPie2016 Sun 18-Mar-18 15:58:17

Mine generally falls somewhere inbetween - not a top but not spotless either. I work full time and DS does school hours at preschool sonwe are not there to make that much less in the week. DH is often around though and can be quite messy angry

I can't stand it a total top so try to keep on top of it.

Savemefromthe Sun 18-Mar-18 15:58:46

I can't get on top of it. I am constantly trying to declutter and i have imposed a strict ban on anything coming into the house but i am not making any inroads. I know i have too many clothes but they are all hidden away so its not that. I cant even say what the clutter is. There is just stuff, everywhere, all the time. I am not suited to living in a mess and find it very stressful. I know someone who has an idyllic family life in a cluttered house but she seems to be able to find things. I can't. I also know people with immaculately tidy homes and they seem to have their lives a lot more sorted than i do.

People do have tidy houses but i am not one of them. I do aspire to be one of those people, one day soon.

Heismyopendoor Sun 18-Mar-18 15:58:55

We don’t live in A mess. Of purse our house gets messy in the day but gets sorted as we go as I can’t stand it. I also don’t like clutter so it’s pretty easy to tidy and clean.

Haisuli Sun 18-Mar-18 16:01:10

Same as Bluelady, we have a massive blitz when it can't be coped with anymore, or if friends/family/workmen are expected, but it can be quite bad before it's tackled. We keep on top of washing up and washing clothes and putting them away, but the rest of it is very hit and miss.

SmallBlondeMama Sun 18-Mar-18 16:05:14

If your a neat person, your house will be neat. If your messy, house will be messy. Hire a cleaning lady!

ChardonnaysPrettySister Sun 18-Mar-18 16:07:29

Mess makes me feel unsettled, so I try to keep things relatively tidy.
I must admit though that my standards for things being tidy are not particularly high.

dudsville Sun 18-Mar-18 16:08:01

I've found that while standards may slip with life changes, trends have remained. My friends who used to be super tidy are still quite tidy and my friends who never cleaned now can't be found under the mess.

flippyfloppyflower Sun 18-Mar-18 16:09:15

I'm one of those folk who loves housework. I can sit and stare at it for hours whilst drinking a cuppa and enjoying a biscuit smile

Seriously - I am naturally untidy but my home is clean at the corners and I blitz when I need to. As my old mum used to say "no-one on their death bed has ever said "I wish I had done more housework""

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