Context: OH proposed in July last year. We wanted to be married quickly so set a date for December last year. Was going to be the “big” wedding. Then, 4 days later, found out was pregnant so postponed until September this year.
However, had a missed miscarriage at almost 10 weeks end August. By this point I was a month off being aged 39 so we decided to forget wedding and try for another baby instead (we have no living children).
January this year we happily found out we were pregnant again. So once hit 12 weeks booked for September next year.
However, we don’t really want to wait to be married as by that point, will have been engaged 2.5 years. Also, given my age, I suspect we will want to get trying for a second (I’ll be 40 when I give birth) straight away (lady part damage permitting!)
We live offshore so wedding anywhere nice will be at least 20k. And that’s only around 50 guests.
We are now thinking we’d like to be married before baby born and we both earn decent amounts but 20k is not something we can spend without really grimacing. We want to buy a holiday home in France (subject to what effect Brexit has on ex pats purchasing) and can’t help but think money would be better spent there.
We’ve thought about just having parents and siblings at a small day but feel it would be awkward as my parents are very difficult socially.
So now we are thinking of just getting married the 2 of us in next month or so and having a big party next year which can act as wedding celebration, my 40th and baby’s naming day - we can have it in our garden (hire caterers etc) and think will be more intimate and much cheaper.
Think OH’s parents will be ok but think mine will be upset - mainly because my dad likes to show off and is hoping to invite some of their friends (he was paying for reception).
AIBU to just go off and get married?
Please or to access all these features
Please
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AIBU?
To sneakily get married and not tell anyone
119 replies
coastalchick · 17/03/2018 08:23
OP posts:
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