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To ask you to cheer me up with funny things your kids say?

(169 Posts)
smileygrapefruit Thu 15-Mar-18 16:52:32

I'm stuck at home struck with the flu trying my very best to care for 3 DC under 4. To say I'm struggling is an understatement. My 2 year old just cheered me up though. I'm in pj bottoms and a zip up hoody (no bra- relevant) and have just breastfed baby. As I went to zip my hoody back up 2 year old asks, shocked, "where your boobie lid?!" Please cheer me up with some funny things your kids have said when they haven't known the name of or mispronounced something. Oh another one, prawn crackers are known as knackers in our house as that is what now 4 yo called them when she was little!

Bananamanfan Thu 15-Mar-18 16:56:21

Instead of relaxing, my dd & ds2grin "belax" DH & I often wish we had more time "belaxing" Hope you feel better

TurtleCavalryIsSeriousShit Thu 15-Mar-18 16:56:22

Ah sorry to hear you're sick.

We still call spaghetti 'basghetti' in my house after my little sister couldn't say it.

And DS2 couldn't say Marlene, so called her Aunty Money. We still call her that. I'm sure there's more...will have a think.

Hope you feel better soon flowers

PodgeBod Thu 15-Mar-18 17:03:42

My daughter just turned 3 last month. Earlier today I was telling her about St Patrick's day on Saturday and asked her if she knew what Ireland was
She said "yes it's a tortoise and you tie a rocket to it and go to the moon" I'm thinking she's going to be a bit disappointed on Saturday when we just make some soda bread!

Handsfull13 Thu 15-Mar-18 17:05:05

Mine aren't talking yet but we were playing peek-a-boo with a muslin and one twin took it from me and instead on putting it on his head it went over his back and now he is walking around with a cape on.
The other loves to chat down the phone (Baby gibberish) he pinched my phone while I was FaceTiming my mum so she was treated to the sight of in his ear and being shouted at.
For some reason he sounds more aggressive when he's got a real phone.

MereDintofPandiculation Thu 15-Mar-18 17:06:38

In tears on being told his part in the nursery school nativity "I don't want to be a shepherd's pie and be eaten"

Yecartmannew Thu 15-Mar-18 17:07:21

Gladiators (Radiators)
Testicle (Technical)
and egg and shoulders (soldiers) are the 3 we still use now, kids are 25, 23 and 21!

holyshitdude Thu 15-Mar-18 17:11:31

My 2 year old ds said the babas at nursery took his train so he squashed them shock and when he was babbling on about fireman Sam, he said what sounded like "sam's on crack"

Guardsman18 Thu 15-Mar-18 17:13:10

When my son was 3 ish and having a bath, there were little bits of his woollen sock in there.

I said - oh it's just a little bit of fluff. He then said - oh, is that what they look like after they come out of your bottom?

I could've eaten him!

NomsQualityStreets Thu 15-Mar-18 17:13:39

DS (2) absolutely loves any kind of berry, you name it he eats it. He's always called blueberries BUBUs and from there for some reason strawberries are now called BOOBIES.

I often half die half giggle when I've got a toddler following me around the supermarket fruit aisle frantically shouting "BOOBIES!" at strawberries.

superlibrarian Thu 15-Mar-18 17:13:54

16mo has very few word's yet but he can proudly announce “BURP!!“ very loudly every time he has burped blush

Marmite27 Thu 15-Mar-18 17:15:55

My 2 year old has been asking her to ‘ghost me’ for the past few days and it’s had us flummoxed.

Until this morning when I put a really bright light on and she pointed at her shadow and shouted ‘my ghost is here!’

There’s also been a hungry ghost in her tummy - but he only wants things like biscuits, chocolate and crisps to eat, so I’m not sure how authentic he is grin

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom Thu 15-Mar-18 17:16:33

Pegwigs are penguins
Molarmolar is a lawnmower
Most food items were bisgusting.
Could go on forever really.
Hope you're feeling better soon.

justbinthefeckinbyebyebox Thu 15-Mar-18 17:17:08

Ds aged 3 learned the nursery rhyme Old MacDonald first, and now calls McDonalds
Old MacDonalds, doesn't sound as bad, hopefully! wink

BillyAndTheSillies Thu 15-Mar-18 17:17:44

DS (2) has lots of ones which I love. His key worker at Nursery is from Boston and he's picked up her twang. Sounds a bit strange coming from a toddler in the east end though.

Glasses are "gwasses" at the moment. Every dinosaur is a "dodocus" because diplodocus are his favourites.

A few weeks ago, I had a bottle of water and said "would you like some" and now every drink which isn't in a sippy cup he calls "some". "I have that some please mummy?".

FloControl Thu 15-Mar-18 17:20:52

Once when I was about three, I boldly answered the telephone with a very bright, "Trumpton Fire Station, Captain Flack speaking !" Our caller was most amused.

lanbro Thu 15-Mar-18 17:22:06

Eldest dd was learning about painters at school, weeks later Dd2 4yo randomly pipes up with "I can't believe Vincent Van Gogh cut his own ear off "!!

Nomad86 Thu 15-Mar-18 17:22:17

2 favourites of mine...

"why is it called a moo-seum if there aren't any cows there?"

Pointed out a disabled sign to DH and told him it's for people in pushchairs or wheelbarrows.

morningrunner Thu 15-Mar-18 17:22:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nomad86 Thu 15-Mar-18 17:26:24

Oh and babloons (balloons)

sockunicorn Thu 15-Mar-18 17:29:34

when my DD was 5 and we were on holiday she told me she was going to come on holiday to Canada again when she 18. I asked if mummy could come too. She replied "if youre not dead by then". If alive I would only have been early 40s when shes 18

MajestyRoyale Thu 15-Mar-18 17:29:34

DS likes cars. DS also likes the colour red, so, naturally, he loves red cars. Only he can't pronounce his r's too good. So each trip on the bus consists of me trying to stop him pointing out the 'wankers'.....

lookingforaline18 Thu 15-Mar-18 17:30:41

My toddler shouted "dick!" really loudly when he saw a stick the other day grin

Same toddler used to be obsessed with "buggers", meaning diggers.

MrsWhirly Thu 15-Mar-18 17:30:52

when Dd was about 2 I explained to her that if anyone touched her privates, showed them theirs or asked to see hers, she was to tell to straight away. About a week later on a quiet train, she loudly - and concerned - said “ Mum, if anyone ever touches your private parts - you tell me!” Queue lots of hysterical and some flabbergasted London commuters. She was so cute at that age though, I could have eaten her x

Nanasueathome Thu 15-Mar-18 17:32:29

I took my grandson to have his injections
He told his Mum and Dad that the nurse had stuck nails in his arms

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