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Is it weird that FIL partner only texts me?

(17 Posts)
Greekyoghurt83 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:20:26

My father in law has a new partner of maybe one year. Anyway she has now taken control of all family contact and only texts me and asks me to forward info onto my DH, on matters such as visiting, Xmas presents, updates from their holidays. She is ok as a person and I get on with her but her actions means that my FIL and DH have hardly any contact. Plus I find it a bit annoying that she is expecting that I act like a secretary to my DH. Surely my FIL should be contacting my DH on all this stuff or AIBU?

Pengggwn Tue 13-Mar-18 14:22:43

Your FIL and DH are adults with phones, right?

Theresasmayshoes11 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:24:30

Why doesn’t your dh phone to speak to his dad?

Trinity66 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:24:54

No you're not, if i were you I'd just start forwarding all her texts on to your DH and let him deal with her

Greekyoghurt83 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:25:47

Completely! DH has text and called his dad back , to hint to the new partner that it's bloody annoying but she keeps on. Also I feel for DH, it's a bit hurtful his Dad doesn't pick up the phone or want to text him don't you think? It is just weird! !!

pawpatrolearworm Tue 13-Mar-18 14:26:08

her actions means that my FIL and DH have hardly any contact

No, don't do that. THEIR actions mean that they hardly have any contact. If they wanted to talk to each other, they could do so easily.

PNGirl Tue 13-Mar-18 14:26:39

YANBU. Because you are not in possession of a penis you have been designated official "wifework" manager. I have always been careful to ignore MiL's "It's DH's cousin's birthday, can we send a card" texts, or say "OK, I will pass on tbe message" so she now asks him directly!

Pengggwn Tue 13-Mar-18 14:29:34

She sounds annoying, but this is only happening because your FIL is letting someone pick up after him. Every time she contacts it, say you'll get DH to ring his dad. Just don't engage with it.

Piffle11 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:30:18

My MIL is like this. She only contacts DH if she wants him to do something for her - otherwise she texts me re. visits, etc. She's not to blame for your DH and his DF not being in touch - they are. Also, if I ring my DParents my DF nearly always answers the phone ... and the first thing he says? 'I'll just get your DM'. Or I'll start talking and try and arrange something/tell him something, and STILL he'll insist on getting DM.

Greekyoghurt83 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:31:22

Pengggwn - thanks that is good advice.

Twogoround Tue 13-Mar-18 14:36:24

Is your FIL ok health wise ?
They could be hiding something ?

Greekyoghurt83 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:37:51

Twogoround - yes that's what we thought at first but no he is definitely fine!

Emma198 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:38:28

It's how in works in our family mainly because nothing ever gets organised properly if left to my husband and father in law. Maybe that's her experience too.

Greekyoghurt83 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:39:42

I would just add it just feels really strange because we have met her a handful of times and only known her a year! obviously she has a strong matriarch role in her own family so probably just doing what she always does...

WinstonlovesJulia1984 Tue 13-Mar-18 14:54:01

She belongs to the school of thought that believes all family-related matters are dealt with by women. Your DH should firmly take the matter in hand and re-establish direct contact with his father

BarbarianMum Tue 13-Mar-18 14:55:42

I agree with pawpatrol. There is nothing stopping your dh contacting his dad or vice versa. Don't blame her for your FiL's lack of actions.

hmcAsWas Tue 13-Mar-18 15:02:11

My SIL (dh's sister) does this. If she wants to see us she always goes through me rather than him to make arrangements, she only ever asks me what the dc want for birthdays and Christmas etc. Its not a big deal but I find it mildly irksome that she doesn't liaise with him at least some of the time

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