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To be fed up with people taking things to heart on social media

(48 Posts)
Midlandsmummmy Tue 13-Mar-18 12:18:01

On Sunday OH and I wrote the obligatory fb posts to our mothers for mothering Sunday. Visited both mothers with the kids and gave nice gifts including some personalised things. All fine we thought, was a lovely day.

OH gets a call from MIL saying she is really upset that I didn’t ‘like’ his fb post to her on mother’s day- I didn’t see it, fb seems to display posts in a random order. She is also very offended that in my post to my own mother I wrote ‘to the best mother and nana’. I didn’t literally mean best, as in the best there ever has been, it’s just a phrase.

OH tells his mother to stop overreacting and ends the call.

Am I in the wrong here? Have I been really offensive?

Oooeeeerrrrrindeed Tue 13-Mar-18 12:20:34

You're right it is social media etc. But. You are very wrong to use "just a phrase" saying your mother is a better GP publicly. No wonder she's pissed. Expect shitty gifts at Christmas.

BetterEatCheese Tue 13-Mar-18 12:21:20

The 'like' issue is her being a plum. The throw away nature of your comment however I can see could upset her.

Brakebackcyclebot Tue 13-Mar-18 12:23:12

FFS. There are no "obligatory" FB posts to mothers on mothers day. Why plaster it all over FB at all? If you'd written those exact words in a card, no-one would be offended.

Living through FB like this is ridiculous.

Titsywoo Tue 13-Mar-18 12:25:59

Eh? Just give her a card like normal people. Why does is need to go on social media?

NerrSnerr Tue 13-Mar-18 12:26:45

I agree it's not 'obligatory'. Why the need to put it on FB if you're visiting? You could just tell them to their faces.

Midlandsmummmy Tue 13-Mar-18 12:27:41

Thanks for your input but I don’t live my life through Facebook. Both OH and I rarely post anything. Our parents use it a lot though so we put posts on there so they didn’t feel ‘left out’.

I’ll take on board that I should think more carefully about wording rather than using what I see as a ‘throwaway phrase’.

rinabean Tue 13-Mar-18 12:28:12

It really takes a special level of childishness to get offended when someone else proclaims they have the best mother.

You're fuelling the fire a bit by acting like any of this is obligatory though. It's not, especially if people are going to react like that.

I would have done the same as your OH.

rinabean Tue 13-Mar-18 12:29:08

You don't have to think as carefully about the wording of a mother's day sentiment to your own mother as your MIL does. You really, really, really don't. Don't get dragged into her nonsense. She's unreasonable, you don't need to fall to her level.

GreenTulips Tue 13-Mar-18 12:31:38

Not obligatory at all! Nobody feels the need to write such posts

Walk away from FB !!

Totally unneccessary to post anything - use a card or phone call in future

Shadow666 Tue 13-Mar-18 12:31:54

I just sent mum a message through Messenger. It doesn’t have to be a public post.

Midlandsmummmy Tue 13-Mar-18 12:32:13

Thank you rinabean. My OH could call his mother the best and I wouldn’t find it offensive, it’s just a comment.

For what it’s worth, I won’t be posting anything like that again. We wrote them as we worried our mothers would feel left out given they use Facebook a lot and would see other children posting messages to their mothers. That backfired.

cucaracha Tue 13-Mar-18 12:33:52

I never realised that people were genuinely having tantrums about their "likes" on social media, I thought it was reserved to z-list Essex "celebrities" who use social media as a business.

HollyBayTree Tue 13-Mar-18 12:35:22

You MIL is touchy and over reacting. Any normal person would accept that a child writes those word to his/her parent. It isnt a slight against every other parent in the world. Your MIL needs to grow up, sharpish.

The question, folks, wasn't on uses of social media. It was on peoplesl hysteria and looking to be habitually offended where no intent to offend happened.

LagunaBubbles Tue 13-Mar-18 12:37:09

I don't think it will be best Mum comment that has upset your MIL but the best Nana.

Tiddler7 Tue 13-Mar-18 12:37:45

Why would you not say best mother? My mother is the best for me, better than MIL, and I am not afraid to say it wink

hatetosayitoldyouso Tue 13-Mar-18 12:38:28

Some people shouldn't be on social media. I am glad I came off it, the drama I had with not 'liking' the million pictures my sil put on a day.

Shadow666 Tue 13-Mar-18 12:43:35

The best nana post was a bit insensitive.

LeighaJ Tue 13-Mar-18 12:43:56


"It really takes a special level of childishness to get offended when someone else proclaims they have the best mother."

I think it was the best Nana bit not best Mother part that upset MIL, otherwise that would be strange.

I don't see the point of posting on FB if seeing them in person either but some need their ego stroked more than others I guess.

DeleteOrDecay Tue 13-Mar-18 12:48:34

I would not bother posting anything like that in future, far too much hassle.

I had similar a few years ago when I deactivated my account for a while. Mil phoned me that evening, just as I was heading to bed, demanding to know why I had 'deleted' her from Facebookhmm

Midlandsmummmy Tue 13-Mar-18 12:49:09

I guess what’s annoying me is that if this was the other way around, my mother would not care about what my OH had written and would understand that he would use the word ‘best’ to describe his own parent.

LagunaBubbles Tue 13-Mar-18 12:56:02

Again I think its the best Nana comment, people seem to be focusing on the Mum.

Shadow666 Tue 13-Mar-18 12:56:12

I do agree peopl can be overly sensitive about stuff posted on FB.

Somerford Tue 13-Mar-18 13:03:49

I won't speculate about your friends and relatives OP, but I often found that people who got upset about comments and likes on Facebook were the ones who felt the need to broadcast some kind of imaginary life. They were insecure people who wanted everyone on their friends list to believe that they had the perfect life so they'd spend absurd amounts of time window dressing. They 300 hundred near-strangers to believe that they are happier than they really are, that they earn more money than they really do, that their family is closer to perfect than it really is. The amount of work involved in maintaining this façade makes it exhausting but they plough on with it anyway and they expect you to play your role without them having to ask. It's a never ending and altogether pointless task.

Midlandsmummmy Tue 13-Mar-18 13:26:09

I think there’s a lot of truth in that Somerford.

Thanks all for the input. There won’t be any more social media posts on any occasion to avoid the risk of offending. From now on, I’ll just stick to cards and write what I want on there.

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