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to think my boyfriend should stop vaping around me?

(44 Posts)
EvadneBadne Mon 12-Mar-18 21:50:03

That's it basically. I'm 5 weeks pregnant. Boyfriend thinks the use of e-cigarettes is harmless, I think my enough research has been done. Asked him numerous times not to do it around me but he seems not to care. He will sit and fill the room with e-cigarette smoke whilst I sit there worrying about baby and having to sit on my own upstairs. AIBU to wish he would just stop doing it around me?

Idontdowindows Mon 12-Mar-18 21:52:30

When people tell you who they are, you should listen.

EvadneBadne Mon 12-Mar-18 21:52:36

'not enough research', as opposed to 'my enough research' - sorry!

EvadneBadne Mon 12-Mar-18 21:53:13

@Idontdowindows not sure I follow?

Idontdowindows Mon 12-Mar-18 21:55:51

He's telling you that despite the fact that you have valid misgivings about the health issues surrounding vaping, and despite the fact that you do not wish to sit in vape smoke in your own home, he's going to ignore your misgivings and your wishes just so he can get his jollies on his addiction.

He's telling you where his priorities lie. Baby is going to be sitting in smoke.

EvadneBadne Mon 12-Mar-18 21:57:42

@Idontdowindows sorry, I was a bit slow there. So I'm not being unreasonable. I don't know why he can't just do it outside. There's so little research on it. I feel like I can't even walk through my own house.

Idontdowindows Mon 12-Mar-18 21:59:03

And he's perfectly fine with you feeling that way. Couples counseling might be a good idea.

You are not unreasonable at all. There is no long term research into vaping and the consequences for your health.

I have COPD. I can handle cigarette smoke. Vape smoke gives me an attack. I know, I know, anecdata.... still.

EvadneBadne Mon 12-Mar-18 22:00:29

@Idontdowindows thank you. I don't think this should require couples counselling. I may leave for a few days and tell him I'll come back if he will stop vaping around me. If not, I'm gone.

BertieBotts Mon 12-Mar-18 22:01:18

Yes HIBU. DH vapes but since I've been pregnant he goes outside. He's cutting down the nicotine so that hopefully he'll be totally off it by the time the baby arrives.

I am much happier with the vaping than smoking but it's not fair of him to make you feel uncomfortable, it doesn't matter how unreasonable he thinks you're being.

Idontdowindows Mon 12-Mar-18 22:02:01

Ah, a bit more going on perhaps than the vaping. Take care of yourself and that little one first smile

Lucyccfc Mon 12-Mar-18 22:04:37

It's not 'smoke'. It's water vapour.

If you are not happy with it though, he should do it outside.

Creambun2 Mon 12-Mar-18 22:05:54

People who vape display the same type of anti-social behaviour as when they smoked. Sick of people smirking as they puff out a huge loads of vile, synthetic shit in pubs or on buses etc. I'm glad most places ban it now.

FranticallyPeaceful Mon 12-Mar-18 22:07:01

He’s being a selfish arse. Tell him to do it outside. Take it off him and put it in the garden if he doesn’t, if he still continues to ignore you then just break the tank.

That or leave. I don’t usually say leave, but it’s a pretty big deal that he won’t stop vaping around his pregnant Mrs when she has expressed her opinion on it

Idontdowindows Mon 12-Mar-18 22:08:31

It's water vapour.

That is patently untrue.

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ProseccoPoppy Mon 12-Mar-18 22:08:43

Whatever it is it makes me choke and, since I’ve been pregnant this time the smell makes me heave. So DH only ever does it outside, and towards the end of the garden so I can’t smell it near the kitchen door. Even that was a big compromise for me - if it was cigarettes I would have insisted he give up altogether. You are joy being in any way unreasonable - he should go outside.

FittonTower Mon 12-Mar-18 22:09:06

I don't actually think vaping will do you or your baby any harm at all. I know there's a lot of stuff about there not being enough research but actually there's been a fair bit and all the larger studies are showing its pretty harmless in general. BUT, its a small ask for him to leave the room when he's vaping, you're pregnant and even if it was known to be 100% completely harmless then it wouldn't be massively unreasonable to ask him to leave the room. When i was pregnant i asked my partner not to drink tea next to me - weirdly just the thought of a cuppa made me feel sick and with freaky pregnancy sense of smell i could smell it and it made me feel so ill. Probably all in my head but he did it because i was pregnant and i asked.

CollyWombles Mon 12-Mar-18 22:09:19

OP, I manage a vape shop. I have done thorough research into the studies, articles, customer experiences, I'm always checking news and so forth.

YANBU. No one knows yet whether there will be health risks from vaping. If he is filling the room with ecig smoke, he must be a sub ohmer (big cloud vaper) in which he is just plain rude doing that with anyone else in the room, never mind his newly pregnant girlfriend.

The amount of passive vaping has actually been tested with confirmed results that it is very low, much much lower than cigarette smoke. It does happen though, passive vaping and even if it was in the most minute levels, he should not put you in the position he is.

Tell him to take it outside and don't accept a no.

For the record, I vape, not a big cloud kit however and I would absolutely stop vaping the moment I found out I was pregnant. Same as I stopped smoking the moment I found out with my dc.

EvadneBadne Mon 12-Mar-18 22:09:21

@Lucyccfc it's far, far from 'just water vapour' - it contains nicotine, flavourings (which could be anything), propylene glycol, glycerin, and traces of formaldehyde, acetaldehyde, and acrolein (amongst other things). It's not just water vapour.

FranticallyPeaceful Mon 12-Mar-18 22:10:39

The “it’s just water vaper” comment comes from those who googled it when they first became a “thing”. It was a widespread lie, obviously not at all true

Whatshallidonowpeople Mon 12-Mar-18 22:10:55

It's not smoke though

EvadneBadne Mon 12-Mar-18 22:11:15

@FranticallyPeaceful what was a lie?

zzzzz Mon 12-Mar-18 22:12:04

Buy a fan and open a window?

Ontheboardwalk Mon 12-Mar-18 22:12:20

I don’t understand why some men I know (well ok two of them) can’t seem to go without vaping for 10 mins in pubs. Sneaking a vape under the table when everyone can see the vapour all around them. They used to go for hours without a smoke at work.

OP doesn’t matter what he’s doing, nothing to do with vaping, but if it’s making you feel uncomfortable in your own home and he’s not taking your feelings into consideration something is not right.

lovebipolar Mon 12-Mar-18 22:12:23

He needs to start and respect your feeling and wishes, YANBUthanks

EvadneBadne Mon 12-Mar-18 22:12:59

@CollyWombles thank you. That's really helpful. I used to vape too so understand the risks and chemicals it contains. Whilst a lot better than smoking, it hasn't been studied enough to know it is harmless.

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