It can be the only explanation for the things that have suddenly, rudely and determinedly started sprouting near the corners of my mouth. They are certainly not human. These bristles have a diameter of about a millimetre. If I let them grow out I reckon I could paint walls with them. I know I had a lot of champagne on my 40th but you'd have thought I'd remember a boar.
My ones like that grow out my chin. And they appear from no where! Check in the bathroom mirror in the morning - nothing. Check at lunchtime - 1cm thick black hair sprouting! One of the last ones looked like a dark luxurious eyelash, and I swear it left an open hole where it came out.
I have one, very fair one, that emerges coyly from a freckle on my jawline. For what seems like ages it's dainty and short, and then all of a sudden my mother is drawing me aside and trying to set about me with her fifty-year-old tweezers...
Apart from that, the most mysterious hair is the one I occasionally find growing on the back of my knee. I swear to God I shave carefully and yet every few months there's a dark hair about an inch long mocking me.
Got me some doozers. They like it on my chin so much they brought mates to enjoy the fun.
I have started cryptically marking on my wall calendar when I pull them. Capital V equals my chin (which in RL isn't this shape, more pudding shaped) then a capital i underneath but to the right, left or middle to indicate area of bristle. When I started this they appeared every 8 weeks or so, now it is every week.....they know don't they? They know I am watching them....
Anyone else got cryptic symbols on their work wall planner? Are my workmates on MN and going to be sniggering at me now?