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Friend bought the same dress for wedding

(105 Posts)
felicitous Mon 12-Mar-18 20:41:41

My friend from university is getting married this summer, I bought my dress about a month ago now (very organised for me! haha) and sent pics to a couple of friends.

One of them has now gone and bought exactly the same dress as me for the wedding. It's definitely noticeable that it's the same dress and she was a close friend from uni too, so it's likely that we will be sat together and spend a lot of the evening talking to each other etc.

AIBU to be a bit pissed that she's bought this dress? I sent her a pic of it recently saying I was wearing it for the wedding and she goes and buys an identical one.

What should I do? I do really like the dress and it's now too late for me to return it. I'd never outright tell her she can't wear the dress she bought, but I don't want to be sat right next to her in matching dresses. Maybe I'm petty but I think we'd look ridiculous - like fake bridesmaids!

pawpatrolearworm Mon 12-Mar-18 20:43:25

there isn't anything you can do, other than choose whether or not to wear your dress.

specialsubject Mon 12-Mar-18 20:45:14

Never get why this matters. Just laugh it off.

Whatshallidonowpeople Mon 12-Mar-18 20:45:24

Have you pointed out to her it is the same? She may not realise

Gemini69 Mon 12-Mar-18 20:47:29

Wear it well.... flowers all the people that you sent a photo of your dress too.. will now she's a knob... hmm

AHedgehogCanNeverBeBuggered Mon 12-Mar-18 20:48:07

That's v weird. Message her to ask did she mean to buy the same dress because you'll look a bit odd... confused

SlowTango Mon 12-Mar-18 20:49:35

That is totally bizarre! Think you need to either bite the bullet and point out that the dresses are very similar or change your dress (and not show her a picture of it!) That would really annoy me too

Avasarala Mon 12-Mar-18 20:49:50

If she's a close friend then just talk to her! Bring it up in a funny way if you need to but just talk to her. Honestly - why make it into some big deal when you could just go "oh, that's the same dress I bought and shoes you - won't that look a bit odd?"

Avasarala Mon 12-Mar-18 20:50:13

*showed you

shouldaknownbetter Mon 12-Mar-18 20:50:17

Message her to say 'hey we can be twins! let's get matching fascinators and shoes and everything. It'll be fun!' and see what her response is....

li1972 Mon 12-Mar-18 20:50:41

She may have forgotten.... I'd msg her and remind her that you had informed SEVERAL of your friends that you had bought / would be wearing this dress and would hate for her to look silly!

Aprilmightmemynewname Mon 12-Mar-18 20:50:52

Get to the venue an hour early - you will be the guest wearing 'the original' and they are the copycats!!

Bluntness100 Mon 12-Mar-18 20:53:47

Could she have bought it before you and you were thr one who bought the same dress as her unknowing? It would be very unusual for her to,plan to dress identically to you, so I'd suspect she bought it first and is now letting you know it's the same.

gabsdot Mon 12-Mar-18 21:01:19

I went to a wedding last years and 4 women wore the same dress. They all got together and had a photo taken.
It's no big deal. Wear your dress. Your friend is BVU to do this.

LeighaJ Mon 12-Mar-18 21:03:07

That's weird, I'd just go ahead and wear it though. Try to personalise it a bit maybe with a bolero, some fancy gloves, and/or a unique fascinator. If you get vintage accessories off of ebay or othe sites it's very unlikely she'll be able to copycat that as well. Different hairstyle too then what you can guess she might wear.

Although I obviously wouldn't be sharing any of those ideas after the dress thing.

felicitous Mon 12-Mar-18 21:03:36

Haven't said anything to her yet as she just sent me a pic of it about 20 mins ago and not entirely sure how to respond!

The dress itself has a fairly unique pattern on it (I think, at least) so I would have thought she would have realised... Perhaps she had forgotten though. I would have expected her to tell me sooner if I'd bought the same dress as her? Particularly as it's now been long enough so that I can't return it.

Think I will mention it to her, though shouldaknownbetter your suggestion definitely made me laugh grin

I could have laughed it off it it was just some coincidence and we found out when we got there, but seems a bit weird to knowingly buy the same dress as someone else.

LeighaJ Mon 12-Mar-18 21:03:45


felicitous Mon 12-Mar-18 21:05:20

Maybe I should take it as a compliment that she got the same dress.

Or maybe I should bill her for my time and expertise in finding that dress grin I will be starting my new job as personal shopper next Monday.

Foodylicious Mon 12-Mar-18 21:06:01

I would reply saying "um, do you not remember me sending you this pic?" and re send the previous pic.

BlackAmericanoNoSugar Mon 12-Mar-18 21:06:31

Send her a message saying that you tried the dress on to show someone and the entire side seam ripped open when you bent down to fasten your shoes. You can't imagine how embarrassing it would have been to have that happen in public at the wedding. You hope it doesn't happen to her, it was probably just a random fault in your dress, not a design flaw that affect them all. Perhaps she should be careful how she moves and sits at the wedding ... just in case. grin

Is it too late to return your dress for something else? If you do buy another dress don't tell anyone.

Haircutdilemma Mon 12-Mar-18 21:06:58

Did she think you were offering suggestions perhaps?

Can we see the dress please?

Foodylicious Mon 12-Mar-18 21:07:02

Link to the dress pls grin
I have a wedding to go to next month

beigepattern Mon 12-Mar-18 21:07:18

Bluntness, wouldn't she just have replied to the OP's photo with "OMG, that's the dress I've bought!"?

cucaracha Mon 12-Mar-18 21:07:58

be honest, who's got the best body, who will wear it best?
If you win hands on, go for it! If you think your friend won't really make you look phenomenal, you should wear something else.
Be careful, it can be tricky, I remember a dress that Paris Hilton wore better than Kate Middleton, and no one would have put a bet on that.

I don't really understand the need to buy new outfits for a wedding to be honest.

pawpatrolearworm Mon 12-Mar-18 21:08:05

I could have laughed it off it it was just some coincidence and we found out when we got there, but seems a bit weird to knowingly buy the same dress as someone else

You don't know that she did. How long ago did you send the pic? I wouldn't remember the dress someone showed me a photo of a month ago...I might vaguely think I'd seen it before but that's all.
Don't assume there is anything actually to it (and definitely don't take advice from aibu on how to deal, some of the answers will make you look like an utter twat! wink

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