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To tell friend/bride her choice in shoes is terrible

(256 Posts)
TheWonderfulCat Thu 08-Mar-18 04:00:04

So my friend is getting married in 6 months and has just told us bridesmaids (im the MOH) that she wants us to wear converse shoes with our lovely dresses.

The shoes will look terrible with the dresses and Im dreading wearing them.

Should I say anything? And if so, what?
Or should I just suck it up?

PremierNaps Thu 08-Mar-18 04:02:22

I think you have to suck it up. End of the day it's her wedding not yours. It would be disrespectful to say anything about it.

BoamFananas Thu 08-Mar-18 04:02:38

If she's paying and that's what she wants then I'd not say anything.

Though to be fair it all depends on the relationship you have with her and if shes open to others opinions.

BoamFananas Thu 08-Mar-18 04:03:01

If she's paying and that's what she wants then I'd not say anything.

Though to be fair it all depends on the relationship you have with her and if shes open to others opinions.

DinoToes Thu 08-Mar-18 04:03:29

I (and DH) wore custom converse for our wedding. They were brilliant grin Sorry, probably not the response you were looking for.

beardedlobster Thu 08-Mar-18 04:07:25

I wore converse under my wedding dress! It was a long dress so no one could really see them but I just wanted to be comfortable. I put really pretty ribbon laces in them to make them more ‘bridal’.
I’ve known a lot of bridesmaids and brides wear them! At the end of the day it’s the brides choice!

TwoShades1 Thu 08-Mar-18 04:08:40

I think it’s completely appropriate if it fits in with their overall tone/type of wedding and the people they are. On the plus side, no spending hours in uncomfortable heels!

Callamia Thu 08-Mar-18 04:09:39

Oh wow, bridesmaid shoes you can actually wear more than once! You can walk, run and dance in then, they won’t make your feet ache, and I’m hoping you get an excellent colour. I’m kind of envious tbh.

SallyVating Thu 08-Mar-18 04:12:53

At least you'll be comfy. Better than stiletto mules or some blister inducing ridiculousness

Bobbiepin Thu 08-Mar-18 04:27:30

I wanted wedding converse and bridesmaid talked me out of it. Had endless shoe problems & wish I'd ignored her.

TheWonderfulCat Thu 08-Mar-18 04:37:14

I find converse terribly uncomfortable, my feet are weird and theres just not enough arch support grin

We have to pay for our own shoes and theu have to be white. I guess ill just suck it up and maybe ask her if she mind if i wear something else after the ceremony

WilyMinx Thu 08-Mar-18 04:53:30

I hate Converse as well. They look alright but are horribly uncomfortable. I have short, wide feet, and they tend to be quite narrow. Still, it's only for one day, so I would just grin and bear it. I think you could ask her if you can wear different shoes but to leave it if she is insistent.

TheDowagerCuntess Thu 08-Mar-18 05:00:18

Oh God, I'd hate that!

ChangingStates Thu 08-Mar-18 05:03:19

It would be a very happy bridesmaid,

Oldbrook Thu 08-Mar-18 05:07:13

I suppose if you are wearing converse with dresses the 'look' you're going for isn't 'beautiful' anyway?

PeerieBreeks Thu 08-Mar-18 05:08:23

You can buy orthotics very cheaply from amazon that will give you the arch support you are looking for.

Personally I like the look of converse for the bride and bridesmaids.

annandale Thu 08-Mar-18 05:14:12

I can't wear converse at all as they are sheer agony on wide lumpy feet. Find a version that looks similar that you can wear (leather would be much easier) and explain the problem. The look is her choice, I think you have to go with that.

buttfacedmiscreant Thu 08-Mar-18 05:23:15

with you, I have wide feet and they don't fit at all.

noenergy Thu 08-Mar-18 05:27:10

If you are close to her have a word with her and tell her they won't fit u properly.

Especially since u r paying for them.

FrancisCrawford Thu 08-Mar-18 05:30:46

Another one who finds Converse incredibly uncomfortable. I don’t think they look good with any outfit.

If she is determined to go for canvas flats, there are loads of makes you can go for that won’t hurt your feet.

BedtimeTea Thu 08-Mar-18 05:39:33

Does she know they cause you pain? You should let her know. I can not wear any flat shoe and would have to gracefully bow out if she insisted on the converse. Can you wear Nike? Or another brand?

Corblimeyguv Thu 08-Mar-18 05:52:05

When I clicked on this thread I thought it would talk about the bride choosing bridal shoes which were slightly the wrong colour or an unflattering look- still definitely fairly standard bridal shoes but just not a great choice style wise.

What you describe is different, this is a very clear style choice by the bride which is simply not to your taste or comfort. As it’s such a statement by the bride then I don’t see how you can get away with alternative footwear for the ceremony and photos. Hopefully she will be fine with you changing for the rest of the day though?

So yes, I think you are right that you will have to smile and nod on this one OP. It’s her choice.

babypossum Thu 08-Mar-18 05:52:58

I also find Converse much too narrow for wide fit. I like the look of them though and find the Kurt Keiger ones suit my feet better so have several pairs. I can only wear them with my orthotics though as like you, they offer no support otherwise. Take a look at those ones to see if anything is suitable; other than the converse star, I don't think they look much different.

GoBigOrange Thu 08-Mar-18 05:53:02

Converse are the most evil shoes ever. They look comfortable, but leave my feet in burning agony in no time at all. I would honestly rather wear six inch heels than converse - I'd be in less pain.

I wouldn't bring it up from a 'they will look stupid with our pretty dresses' view point, as presumably that is the look she is going for and likes. But I would be asking her if less painful alternatives would be acceptable.

ZoeWashburne Thu 08-Mar-18 05:54:54

I think she is being a cheeky cow for saying you HAVE to buy certain shoes. If she isn’t paying for them she can’t dictate how you spend your money. Is the dress long or short?

For £1000 I couldn’t tell you what shoes the bridesmaids were wearing at the last wedding I was at a few weeks ago. The only time I remember the shoes was when the bride bought nude heels the wrong size for a friend of mine who was a BM (2 sizes too big!). Bride wouldn’t let my friend wear her own nude heels as it would stand out (eye roll). We stuffed them with tissue to make them work but she walked town the aisle like a scuba diver wearing flippers because she was going to walk out of them. THAT stood out more than any mismatched shoes. Put it this way- if guests are staring at BM’s shoes, the wedding is not going well!

I’d just say ‘sorry friend, I don’t have the budget to spend on shoes that I will only wear once. Converse really hurt my feet. I have nude flats, silver strappy heels, or white smart sandals that could work. Which would you prefer?’

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