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‘Women who dress like slags cheapen the rest of us’.

(343 Posts)
Eltonjohnssyrup Sun 25-Feb-18 22:43:49

Said by my mother who is as left wing as Trotsky, a Corbynista and a self identified feminist.

I did say to her at the time that I thought using the word ‘slag’ was wrong. But my sons were there at the time and although two of them are too young to understand I find it worrying they might internalise that kind of thing.

We have a fractious relationship anyway (she used to call me promiscuous as an older teenager because I’d had a snog and a grope). So I don’t want to cause a lot of friction. But I wonder if I should send her an email saying that isn’t acceptable.

JeffsNewAngle Sun 25-Feb-18 22:50:55

What a lot of labels, eh?

Slag

Trotskyite

Corbynista

Self identified feminist.

How charming you all are at flinging the mud.
Better than Wimbledon from the cheap seats here.

I think lobbing an email her way is the least of your worries actually.
Why don’t you learn how to communicate with respect? Your sons are watching what you do.

Italiangreyhound Sun 25-Feb-18 22:52:32

@Eltonjohnssyrup do you think you will change her views? If so, then go ahead. If not, save your breath to cool your porridge!

Teach your son's to judge others by the way they treat people, not how they dress. My parents may well have had similar views, but to be honest my kids don't listen to my views a whole lot so not sure they would have listened to grandma!

Italiangreyhound Sun 25-Feb-18 22:53:12

JeffsNewAngle weird response!

condepetie Sun 25-Feb-18 22:56:05

Talk to your mother! Unless you don't see her much, an email is a bit impersonal.

At least for the sake of your kids - they don't need to be hearing that kind of thing.

Eltonjohnssyrup Sun 25-Feb-18 22:56:15

Er, I’m not the one giving people labels. It is my mother who labels herself as a Corbynista and a feminist but calls other women ‘slags’ because of their clothes.

ghostyslovesheets Sun 25-Feb-18 22:57:10

well your mum is an idiot

but do not assume the rest of us are

Argeles Sun 25-Feb-18 22:59:13

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with referring to some women as slags.

My Mum and I have certainly always done this, as have my friends. Some women do look like, and/or act like slags.

I wouldn’t necessarily agree with your Mum’s comment that women who dress like slags cheapen other women though. I think it makes those of us who dress and act like ladies stand out for the right reasons.

NotUmbongoUnchained Sun 25-Feb-18 23:01:09

How do you look like a slag?

overskyandshire Sun 25-Feb-18 23:02:45

I think you’d be justified in pointing out that the word slag is distinctly anti feminist.

Eltonjohnssyrup Sun 25-Feb-18 23:03:09

@Eltonjohnssyrup do you think you will change her views? If so, then go ahead. If not, save your breath to cool your porridge!

That’s great advice. It won’t change her views. There’s no point me bothering.

It does frustrate me though, that she spent my teen years calling me a slag yet on the other hand pretends she is tolerant and a feminist.

greendale17 Sun 25-Feb-18 23:03:30

**I don’t think there’s anything wrong with referring to some women as slags.

My Mum and I have certainly always done this, as have my friends. Some women do look like, and/or act like slags.**

^I agree

overskyandshire Sun 25-Feb-18 23:07:47

There’s a lot wrong with it.

Eltonjohnssyrup Sun 25-Feb-18 23:08:01

How do you look like a slag?

I have hair which is a bit out of the ordinary. Blonde dreadlocks and plaits or extensions. I do wear fairly heavy make up (smokey eyes) and foundation (which she really disapproves of).

I wear jeans and tops or (short to mid) thigh length dresses with tights.

MayFayner Sun 25-Feb-18 23:09:23

Your mother made derogatory comments about "slags" in front of your DC? Ok...

Just shut it down, or if that doesn't work, leave. You don't need your mother's approval at this stage of your life.

DalekDalekDalek Sun 25-Feb-18 23:10:25

I don't think sending an email is the best way to deal with an issue between immediate relatives. Particularly considering how easy it is to misinterpret meaning when things are written down.

I agree that what your mother said was a bit inappropriate (particularly in front of children) but if you want to discuss it with her you really should do it verbally!

NotUmbongoUnchained Sun 25-Feb-18 23:10:47

elton

I definitely look like a slag haha! No ones ever been brave enough to say that to me though.

Eltonjohnssyrup Sun 25-Feb-18 23:12:40

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with referring to some women as slags.

Why, what are they doing to you? Why do you feel better than them? I would much rather be friends with a ‘slag’ than you.

My Mum and I have certainly always done this, as have my friends. Some women do look like, and/or act like slags.

So sad you weren’t my mother’s daughter. She would love having a daughter who was prepared to sit and judge with her.

AnUtterIdiot Sun 25-Feb-18 23:14:55

Calling other women slags is doing the patriarchy's job for it. Tell your mum so when she brings this up again, as she plainly will.

JoJoSM2 Sun 25-Feb-18 23:17:20

She sounds like a nasty piece of work and a hater.

LassWiADelicateAir Sun 25-Feb-18 23:19:57

I would not want to have anyone in my life who thinks "slags" is an acceptable word to describe a woman or a woman's appearance.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 25-Feb-18 23:21:38

What’s a slag? Just so I’m clear. Does it apply to men too?

Eltonjohnssyrup Sun 25-Feb-18 23:23:48

Your mother made derogatory comments about "slags" in front of your DC? Ok...

Yes, she did. It was prompted by the Damien Green story. Apparently the woman who was pictured in her corset that DG later texted about deserved it because ‘If you pose like that you have to expect people to comment’.

Just shut it down, or if that doesn't work, leave. You don't need your mother's approval at this stage of your life.

I can’t ‘leave’. I live several hundred miles from her.

DalekDalekDalek Sun 25-Feb-18 23:24:39

What’s a slag? Just so I’m clear. Does it apply to men too?

A slag is generally someone who sleeps around etc.

Eltonjohnssyrup Sun 25-Feb-18 23:25:04

I would not want to have anyone in my life who thinks "slags" is an acceptable word to describe a woman or a woman's appearance.

This is great advice and I may use

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