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AIBU and Mean?

(94 Posts)
SoonToBecomeAMrs Sun 25-Feb-18 20:16:18

NC as I have family who are MNers...

I've reluctantly agreed 4 weeks ago that DP's brother could stay with us for 9 weeks whilst he had work in the area. DP and I agreed on some conditions such as he has to pay his way, we aren't to be giving him lifts (public transport is good here) and he doesn't stay any longer than the 9 weeks.

Every Friday BIL goes home to see his GF an hour away via train straight from work and comes back Sunday night. The first Sunday he asked for a lift home from the train station because there's no buses. DP went and got him, I told DP that he should tell his DB that he needs to get an earlier train to make sure he can get a bus from the station to here.

He's had a lift from FIL the past 2 weeks but today BIL has done exactly the same. Got the latest train and asked for a lift claiming no buses. So now me and DP have argued because I don't think he should go to get him. I've actually found a bus but it means waiting half an hour, which I think he should do.

AIBU and a bitch here? It was a condition we made and I feel DB is trying to take the mick. Surely it isn't hard to get the train a bit earlier so he makes the bus?

Battleax Sun 25-Feb-18 20:18:14

I CBA to make a big issue out of it on a cold Sunday night myself.

Does it majorly inconvenience you if he nips out to collect his own brother?

Allthewaves Sun 25-Feb-18 20:18:51

So a lift once a week from train station. Yep you are being unreasonable unless there's huge back story

Allthewaves Sun 25-Feb-18 20:19:38

And if dp wants to do it the why are u getting involved

lackingimagination Sun 25-Feb-18 20:19:48


DancesWithOtters Sun 25-Feb-18 20:19:50

Taxi or Uber?

MumGoneMild Sun 25-Feb-18 20:20:38

It's just a lift.
Is there a massive backstory or are you always so welcoming to family?

MadMags Sun 25-Feb-18 20:20:49

Jesus why are you being so anal about one lift once a week?? confused

Bringmewineandcake Sun 25-Feb-18 20:20:53

I’d be annoyed too. Suggest he gets a taxi if he doesn’t want to wait for the bus. You’re not his taxi service!

Aprilshowerswontbelong Sun 25-Feb-18 20:20:56

My ds does this but he is 16. I would expect a grown man to back able to transport himself from a-b and back again without assistance. And it was one of your criteria at the start. ....

MyBrilliantDisguise Sun 25-Feb-18 20:21:18

How far away is it?

Louiselouie0890 Sun 25-Feb-18 20:21:31

YABU he's family!

bridgetoc Sun 25-Feb-18 20:22:12

He goes to collect his own brother from the station and you have a problem with this?

AYBU & mean? Do you really have to ask? grin

Nicknacky Sun 25-Feb-18 20:22:31

Goodness me, all this angst over giving a lift once a week. Are people really so selfish this annoys them so much it causes issues with their oh?

If your h doesn't want to pick him up then he needs to tell him. If not, butt out.

PlaymobilPirate Sun 25-Feb-18 20:22:40

Its not up to you - he's not asking you for a lift. If dh wants to go get him then he can - he's a bloody grown up

teaiseverything Sun 25-Feb-18 20:22:55

Honestly you're coming across as quite mean, unless there's a huge back story? BIL is, as you say, there for work so persumably isn't a lazy arse. Is it not just nice to be nice sometimes?

BangPippleGo Sun 25-Feb-18 20:23:05

Unless there's some huge backstory about why your DP can't be away from you to give his brother a lift once a week, I think YABVU. It doesnt concern you really if your DP is happy to do it. I'd be fuming if my DH wouldn't let me give my DBro a lift when I'm happy to do it.

stitchglitched Sun 25-Feb-18 20:23:10

If your DP is willing to give his brother a lift why does it matter to you?

steff13 Sun 25-Feb-18 20:23:12

As long as you're not expected to do it, I don't see the problem.

Winterfellismyhome Sun 25-Feb-18 20:23:23

YABU agree with PP plus its freezing out

Loonyluna16 Sun 25-Feb-18 20:23:55

Your absolutely being mean. Your not leaving the house so why does it matter? if my DP told me I wasn't allowed to go and pick up my own brother to save him standing in the freezing cold I wouldn't be happy either...

Leeds2 Sun 25-Feb-18 20:23:57

Can't he get a taxi?

If it wasn't majorly inconveniencing me, I would probably go and pick him up. But I do understand why you are annoyed.

LittleBirdBlues Sun 25-Feb-18 20:24:05

Sounds like your dh is happy to do it? Unless I'm missing something. In which case it isnt really any of your business and yes Yabu for having a row with your husband about wanting to pick up his db on a dark and freezing Sunday night.

Donotbequotingmeinbold Sun 25-Feb-18 20:24:19

Yabu. It's a lift. It's his brother. I wouldn't be happy with my DH if he tried to tell me I couldn't give my own brother a lift from the bus station.

Oooeeeerrrrrindeed Sun 25-Feb-18 20:25:45

Obviously you don't want him in the house with all this limited time/ no lifts rules etc. You seem over invested in telling your DH how to deal with him.

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