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Didn't send Christmas cards last year , family members not happy.

(60 Posts)
butterfly198615 Sun 25-Feb-18 15:43:52

AIBU ? To explain to the family members , why we didn't send xmas cards this year or to post a status on facebook so most people can see it. Or just not bother at all.
It's just really annoyed me.

My husband has been told that certain members of his family are not happy they didn't receive a Xmas card off us this Christmas just gone.

My husband had an operation the middle of December and it went wrong and he nearly died and was in ICU. He came out ok but recovery was hard and he couldn't work etc. The said family members didn't come to visit him once in the hospital ,one family member works in the hospital and the other lives across the road from the hospital. No one phoned him to see how he was etc they knew what had happened as I told them . When my husband got out of hospital he went round the people who didn't come to see him to show he was out of hospital and on the mend.
Anyways as my husband wasn't working money was a bit tight and we barely managed to have a good Christmas with our children as it was so close to Christmas this all happened and we weren't in the Xmas spirit,so to speak ,but tried to make it good for our children.
I just think that to be petty over a Christmas card when their son nearly died is appalling.

I don't mean to sound harsh but sending Christmas cards out was the last thing on our minds. And most family members understud about our situation so weren't offended.

It wouldn't be a horrible status , just apologising and explaining why we didn't send out Xmas cards last year and that we are hoping for a better year this year, as last year was full of ups and downs.

NewYearNewMe18 Sun 25-Feb-18 15:45:59

It's February? Why is this even an issue? Just ignore it. Stop jumping when someone rattles your chain.

DeathStare Sun 25-Feb-18 15:46:55

I'd just leave it. I think the more you say about this one the longer it drags on.

ChasedByBees Sun 25-Feb-18 15:47:58

They are being completely ridiculous. They didn’t visit but they’re offended because they didn’t get a card? hmm

Iruka Sun 25-Feb-18 15:48:58

I didn’t send them either (or several years before) and I didn’t have anything disruptive going on in my life. Just hate the things.
They sound very petty and are probably spoiling for an argument about it. Just ignore them. If they are still upset about missing XMAS cards in Feb especially after what happened, they are pathetic drama llamas and not worth your emotional energy.

Hissy Sun 25-Feb-18 15:51:52

I agree, let it go.

And actually, those that mind don’t matter, those who matter don’t mind.

Sod the lazy buggers, keep them off the card list, they aren’t worth the price of a stamp.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Sun 25-Feb-18 15:53:03

I didn't even realise people still sent cards

44PumpLane Sun 25-Feb-18 15:54:38

If your husband had an op in Mid Dec were you actually intending on sending cards out?
Did you know about the op? If you did and were intending to send cards out I imagine most people would sort the cards before the op knowing life would be a bit harder with some recovery afterwards and with it being so close to the lead up to Christmas.

So YABU to use that as an excuse..... YANBU at all to not send Christmas cards though and you don't need an excuse to not send cards!

Also, it's Feb, they need to get over it if it's still causing consternation.

SpitefulMidLifeAnimal Sun 25-Feb-18 15:54:59

I assume it is the ILs complaining. Obviously, as the wife, you should have had them all done at the start of Dec. Wifework. Moaning old buggers.

Userplusnumbers Sun 25-Feb-18 15:56:00

I think posting Facebook statuses in response to stuff like that is pretty passive aggressive. If you're going to do it, go full on aggressive aggressive.

Post a status that you didn't send Christmas cards because DH was in ICU, so you'd asked the family members who are complaining to pick up some cards - not only did they not do that, they didn't even visit.

Sparklesocks Sun 25-Feb-18 15:59:05

It’s very irritating but I think you need to rise above it, don’t sink to their petty level - they’re probably looking to get the best of you

spugzbunny Sun 25-Feb-18 16:00:02

It's nearly March! You'll just look crazy to anyone except for the few people who had a moan. Either speak to them directly or forget about it!

Seniorcitizen1 Sun 25-Feb-18 16:03:24

Don't understand why people send christmas cards especially those who aren't christians

Aquamarine1029 Sun 25-Feb-18 16:04:45

Who gives a shit what they think? Don't waste one more second of energy thinking about it.

butterfly198615 Sun 25-Feb-18 16:05:34

No my husband didn't know he was going to have the operation, he was in alot of pain and I got him an appointment at the doctors he went to work still and got out to go to the doctors and they sent him up to a&e. He had the emergency operation that evening but we weren't prepared for what was going to happen.

I do admit I probably could of sorted out Xmas cards earlier but I am terrible with my organisation. I did get my kids Xmas cards to write to there friends at school as Christmas mostly about the kids . I was going to get my cards the week after but with having a husband and children too care for I messed up and didn't get round to it.

I'm tempted to post a belated Xmas card if they do them.

witchofzog Sun 25-Feb-18 16:08:10

I think they have treated you appallingly to be honest. What is a Christmas card in the grand scheme of things when someone is in icu. You have a bigger axe to grind with them not visiting and I am aghast at how little self awareness some people seem to have. Can you tell them to fuck off? But over the phone not on Facebook. It would look daft you doing this now but you would have every right to do this in person, email or over the phone. Selfish bastards

bridgetreilly Sun 25-Feb-18 16:08:23

Don't post cards now. Don't post a status now. If people are upset about it they can talk to you and you can explain. If they don't bother to do that, just ignore them. It really is no big deal and it is their problem, not yours.

butterfly198615 Sun 25-Feb-18 16:08:50

It's just annoying to be moaned about behind our backs when we have been through what we have. I wouldn't dream of moaning over a Xmas card if someone had been through what we did. I'd just be happy the person was alive and well and able to spend time with their family. Life is too short as it is.

MyBrilliantDisguise Sun 25-Feb-18 16:10:44

So one of his relatives worked in the hospital and didn't go to visit him?

And your poor husband, after nearly dying, had to visit relatives when he got out - ie they didn't visit him?

And they want you to apologise for not sending a Christmas card?

MsHarry Sun 25-Feb-18 16:11:34

Stop worrying whether you could have , should have done it earlier. Nobody has to send christmas cards to anyone. Th fact that you had a very genuine reason just shows that these people are not worth your concern over it. When my DM dies, the first Christmas, I didn't feel like sending "Happy Christmas" wishes. Nobody minded, I didn't make an announcement. I shouldn't even think that they noticed, most normal people don't.Please don't waste anymore time and don't make a statement.

MsHarry Sun 25-Feb-18 16:11:51

died not dies!

ItsJustCheesecake Sun 25-Feb-18 16:12:02

What arseholes.
"Sorry has planned on giving them to you when you came to visit dh but we never saw you. What a shame. "

RandomMess Sun 25-Feb-18 16:13:37

Why on earth did the family member who passed this nugget of information on to you not tell the complainant to wind their neck in???

Both are as bad as each other IMHO!

MsHarry Sun 25-Feb-18 16:13:50

Like it cheesecake !

DownInFraggleRock Sun 25-Feb-18 16:15:22

I’d address it directly with them- “I heard you were upset about not receiving a Christmas card- I’m so sorry you were annoyed... with DH being in intensive care we didn’t send any”
But then I like a pass-ag non-apology for really ridiculous people like this! grin

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