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to be sick of "I usually don't like women with short hair, but..."?

(286 Posts)
AnnaPannocchia Sun 25-Feb-18 11:28:55

Seriously, if I hear that sentence once again I might scream!

I have a pixie haircut, and I love it. It looks good on me. I also take care of myself, dress well, put make up on, etc etc. I am a normal, happy, young woman with short hair.

You would not believe the amount of men who feel the need to comment on my haircut, and communicate to me how they normally don't like women with short hair at all, but they are soooo surprised that it looks good on me! Shock horror! An attractive woman with short hair!!

This has happened to me many, many times. Last Friday a random man at the pub literally came over to my table just to share this enlightened observation with me confused

I am pretty sure it was intended as a compliment, but it sounds so patronizing and narrow-minded! Surely attractive women (exactly like men) come in different shapes, sizes, facial features and hairstyles!

What suits me might not suit another woman, but why the need to imply that all women with short hair are unattractive and I should be grateful that I am an exception to this apparenty universal rule??

AIBU to be tired of men who feel entitled to express non-requested opinions on my haircut while implying that women can only be attractive with long hair?

Sorry for the rant but angryangryangry

Moominfan Sun 25-Feb-18 11:33:47

Your blowing apart their narrow little minds

Jaygee61 Sun 25-Feb-18 11:36:09

Anna I agree with you. I don’t get the current obsession with long hair. It’s incredibly rare these days to see a woman under 60 with short hair,. I don’t have a pixie cut but would have one like a shot if it would suit me. ( I have a chin length bob.)

allthegoodusernameshavegone Sun 25-Feb-18 11:39:45

I love short hair, long hair has never looked good on me and I too have a pixie cut and have had for many years, I also had short hair as a child with was very unusual but I always looked neat and tidy

Thurlow Sun 25-Feb-18 11:40:30

Try letting your 6yo DD cut her hair as short as a boys. The comments we've had hmm

Melamin Sun 25-Feb-18 11:43:33

My Grandma had this when she got her hair bobbed in the late 1920s. You would think people would have got over it by now.

AnnaPannocchia Sun 25-Feb-18 11:43:34

A friend of mine suggested my default response to this type of comment should be "Omg thank you so much for reminding me we are still in 1943, I mistakenly thought this was 2018!" grin

FittonTower Sun 25-Feb-18 11:43:59

There's a certain type of man who thinks a women's physical appearance is for their benefit alone. More so with something you can choose, like a hair cut, but it happens with stuff you have no choice about. I get told that these random morons "don' t usually like tall women". Then they look at me as if I should be pleased about it. The only thing it tells me is that the bloke saying it is a self-involved arse who I don't even need to waste a polite brush-off on.

Jaygee61 Sun 25-Feb-18 11:44:27

I had short cropped hair many times as a child. Very few comments then, it wasn’t unusual.

Jaygee61 Sun 25-Feb-18 11:46:52

I get told that these random morons "don' t usually like tall women". Then they look at me as if I should be pleased about it.

Plenty of women don’t like short blokes hmm

Bramble71 Sun 25-Feb-18 11:49:06

Someone who shares my views on this! You are not being at all unreasonable, OP. Have you ever noticed that many men think a woman is a stunner because she has long, blonde hair, even if she has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp?

Helsingborg Sun 25-Feb-18 11:49:48

You should say 'thank you for confirming why I date only women.'

KochabRising Sun 25-Feb-18 11:51:09

I used to have a pixie cut. Loved it. Looked amazing, super low maintenance

And I had the same comments. My usual rejoinder was a very sympathetic look, and ‘that’s terribly kind Of you. Really I’m so very grateful’ followed by an eye roll.

Agree that this shit comes from men who think women exist to be decorative items for them to use and look at. Perhaps point that out to the next twit who says it?

AaronPurrSir Sun 25-Feb-18 11:52:12

Have you ever noticed that many men think a woman is a stunner because she has long, blonde hair, even if she has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp?

The same applies to any woman with big boobs, automatically a babe even if the rest of her looks like the back end of a bus.

TossDaily Sun 25-Feb-18 11:52:58

You could answer, 'I don't normally like dickheads rude men' followed by a pause while you look him up and down, and then, 'Nope, I still don't.'

FittonTower Sun 25-Feb-18 11:53:12

Some women might not like short blokes @jaygee but I'd be willing to bet everything I own they don't approach random short men stood at the bar, or walking down the street or at work and tell them that.
I'm not talking about having a preference, I'm talking about voicing this preference, unsolicited and expecting a polite response.

VaguelyAware Sun 25-Feb-18 11:53:22

Yep. Fellow pixie here. Grimace slightly, then offer them a mint. Subtle but it (often) works. Even if you don't think of it straight away.

CopenhagenMaiden Sun 25-Feb-18 11:55:18

I think you do have to have a certain look to be able to pull off very short hair though. I used to see it all the time on Top Model, the girls who got the short hair were given it because they had stronger faces ... but they had to work harder because they had nothing to hide behind.

I guess it’s the same with men who have long hair. They have to look a certain way to carry it off well.

Jaygee61 Sun 25-Feb-18 11:55:56

Someone who shares my views on this! You are not being at all unreasonable, OP. Have you ever noticed that many men think a woman is a stunner because she has long, blonde hair, even if she has a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp?

This is true, but TBH I have also noticed that if a man is over 6 foot a lot of women seem to think he is attractive even if facially he is nothing to write home about.

Headofthehive55 Sun 25-Feb-18 11:56:27

I don't like men with beards...or any facial hair...
I think it's ok to express a preference?
I actively dislike no, hate my short hair. And equally I get tired of people telling me it looks nice. Well I don't like it ok but people seem to want me to alter my opinion of it!

bunbunny Sun 25-Feb-18 11:56:38

Dh came with me to pick the dc up from school last week - we parked in the supermarket next door while waiting for ds to appear. He's always been a straggler so we had time to observe plenty of other dc walk past us.

Even dh - who really doesn't notice clothes or fashions other than maybe to comment on a rugby shirt and by extension talk about the team - actively was surprised by the lack of girls with short hair. Or even with shortish/shoulder length hair. All the girls had long hair.

I do think it's sad there's so little variety; when I was little there were lots of girls that had short hair - me included. My mum and both grans also had short hair.

Having said that when I was little I desperately wanted long straight hair that I could flick and swish around in a glossy curtain... however I have curly hair and it was never to be. It's now shoulder length rather than properly long and I do prefer it to when it was short so I can't criticise on an individual level as I hated it when I had short hair and it wasn't my choice!

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 Sun 25-Feb-18 11:57:05

Plenty of women don’t like short blokes hmm

So youve seen that happen a lot then

Random women walking up to short men saying 'i don't usually like short men but...'

Thebluedog Sun 25-Feb-18 11:58:05

I used to get this all the time... I used to reply with - so you don’t think Marilyn Monroe or Audrey hepburn were attractive then?

IrianOfW Sun 25-Feb-18 11:58:22

Funny isn't it. I haven't had really long hair for many years but since then it's always been below my chin in some form of bob. Now it's short short short and I LOVE it! So does DH. But my male colleagues have all either not commented or said something along the lines of 'You've had your hair cut.....' and then trailed off.

Short hair does not fit in with the male view of an attractive women along with being tall - as I am both I guess I am a deal loss grin

noeffingidea Sun 25-Feb-18 11:58:32

Jaygee61 I think that's true to some extent, however I can't see many women pointing it out to random short men.
Agree with you, OP. Long hair seems to be associated with feminity at the moment, along with short hair as masculine. It's an example of rigid gender stereotyping. I really hope we start seeing some push back soon, and both men and women start to feel freer about their appearance and clothing without needing to make a statement about their 'gender identity'.

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