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Asking Friend for Ticket Back

(55 Posts)
Buffybee Sat 24-Feb-18 16:13:02

Myself and friend, who like this particular style of music, booked tickets ages ago for a Show, which is in two weeks.
A week ago, she tells me that her Dh is working away that evening and she can't find any childcare. She's gutted and I even try to sort some childcare out with a family member, but anyway it wasn't possible.
So, she says to find another friend to go to the Show with me.
I ask another friend and even though it's not exactly her thing, she agreed to come with me.
Now original friends Dh has told her the business trip is cancelled and she's pissed off as she's no ticket now. She let the ticket go for free.
Do you think it would be ok for me to explain to the friend who's coming with me the change in situation and ask if she'd mind giving the ticket back?
Or just leave it now?
Really don't know what to do!

TheSnowFairy Sat 24-Feb-18 16:15:18

No, it would absolutely not be ok to do that!

Phosphorus Sat 24-Feb-18 16:16:49

Noooo, don't ask for the ticket back.

You'll really hurt the feelings of the person who agreed to go with you.

Don't ask for money or anything either.

You have essentially invited someone to a night out, you can't turn around and announce they would never be your first choice.

MavisPike Sat 24-Feb-18 16:17:06

No , you’ll just have to leave it

frasier Sat 24-Feb-18 16:18:14

Are there no more tickets available?

Whitecurrants Sat 24-Feb-18 16:18:14

Depends how much second friend is looking forward to it vs how much she's going to do you a bit of a favour. Also depends how good your relationship is with second friend.

kalinkafoxtrot45 Sat 24-Feb-18 16:18:44

No, your friend gave the ticket up. She can’t get it back now.

frasier Sat 24-Feb-18 16:19:44

Sorry, meant to say it is a lesson learned all around. You can't start give a gift and then ask for it back because you want to give it to someone else.

Buffybee Sat 24-Feb-18 16:19:50

Okay Doke!
Thanks! That's what I thought but was just feeling sorry for the friend who's lost out.
Anyways, there will be other times!
Glad I asked you all now!

WillowWept Sat 24-Feb-18 16:22:36

In these situation if I was the second friend I genuinely would have no issue with returning s ticket I was given for free if the person who gave it me could now use it. Especially if it was fair more their thing than mine.

Do the friends know each other?

Eltonjohnssyrup Sat 24-Feb-18 16:23:08

Hang on, she paid for the ticket and you’re now saying she can’t use it and the person who is going got it for free? I don’t think that’s on. The person who is out of pocket should go.

Bluntness100 Sat 24-Feb-18 16:23:27

God, you can't do that. That's shit. I'm even cringing at the thought and can't believe you'd seriously consider it.

Some of the things people do or consider doing on here are bewildering. It's like empathy is a foreign concept. 😱

Callmegeoff Sat 24-Feb-18 16:24:24

Other friend is coming as a favour - because you have nobody to go with, it's not particularly her thing, yes?

In which case I think it's fine to ask for it back explaining original friend who paid for it can go. She might be relieved ....

LemonSqueezy0 Sat 24-Feb-18 16:24:44

All things being equal, I'd say no you can't ever ask the second friend to give up the ticket... BUT in your Op you mention she's going but it's not really her thing. If she is genuinely only going to facilitate you still being able to go, I'd think there's more scope to mention it to her and see what she says... If she isn't bothered she might be relieved your other friend can now go again. She won't have actually Lost out on anything....

TheJoyOfSox Sat 24-Feb-18 16:33:00

The first friend who cancelled is the one to lose, not the friend who said yes at the last minute!

I can’t believe you even have to ask.

pasturesgreen Sat 24-Feb-18 16:36:26

Going against the grain here, but I'd be positively relieved to be asked for the ticket back if I'd agreed to accompany a mate to an event I had no real interest in just to do her a favour. Your friend might thank you for it!

1frenchfoodie Sat 24-Feb-18 16:40:25

If your 2nd friend isnt in to the music and was only offered it (for free) as friend 1 was no longer available then yes, do ask if she'd be okay dropping out

She always knew she wasn't 'first choice' (though only because friend 1 is a genuine fan) so can't see why she would be offended. She even be may be relieved. Would be totally different if you wanted it back for somebody other than the original buyer!

BrendasUmbrella Sat 24-Feb-18 16:40:57

It depends doesn't it? Did the friend who agreed to go just do so as a favour for you? Is she going to be secretly hoping something intervenes in the meantime so she doesn't have to go? Might be worth finding out!

Whoville Sat 24-Feb-18 16:42:28

I'm one of the ones who would not mind giving the ticket back, if I'd agreed to go as a favour and wasn't into the band that much I'd be happy to know my freind and her friend who loved the band would be able to go together.
Just ask second friend nicely, arrange another date to see film/have dinner drinks etc whatever she's into and I can't see the harm?

McDougalMcPhee Sat 24-Feb-18 16:43:06

is there a subtle way you could find out if friend 2 doesnt want to actually go?

Buffybee Sat 24-Feb-18 16:43:15

To be clear! The friend who is coming with me now has met the friend who was originally coming.
She knew how gutted she was to miss the Show and said that she felt sorry for her having to miss out.
But as a ticket was available, she would come in her place.
I have a feeling that if I was to mention that friends Dh is not now going away she would say, of course she should go, now she can do.
I go out more with the friend who has the ticket now as she is single and no ties, we go away together and probably lunch out twice a month and probably theatre twice a month. She has a very social life!
The original friend, doesn't go out as often as she has Dh and Dc, so it was more of a treat for her. And she really loves the music we are going to see.
The friend who's going with me now, knows that she wasn't the first choice to go to this particular Show, she's not the insecure, jealous type at all.
She was doing me a favour so I'd have someone to go to the Show with.
Oh God! I don't know what to do again now.

PurpleRobe Sat 24-Feb-18 16:43:55

If the "stand in" friend is just going in order to keep you company rather than bc she likes the music... then ask her if she'd mind giving ticket back.

If I was the stand in friend I would be happy to give the free ticket back to the other friend

Gatehouse77 Sat 24-Feb-18 16:48:48

I would ask but without saying anything to friend no.1 in case it's a no.

If you don't ask, you don't get.

Starryskiesinthesky Sat 24-Feb-18 16:52:27

I would see what 2nd pal says - if they are only going to help you out it seems reasonable to ask them.

cariadlet Sat 24-Feb-18 16:58:43

Really tricky situation. I don't think you can actually ask the friend who is now coming with you for the ticket back. But you could let her know that the original friend's circumstances have changed.

She's already said she felt sorry for the first friend and as she tends to go out a lot she might offer to return the ticket - especially as she was going as a favour to you and hasn't paid for the ticket.

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