AIBU In Not Wanting People to Add me to group Chats, or Worse...

[RockinHippy]

Or worse add me to a "chat" with a complete stranger, without asking or having a clue what's going on in my life, just because they have similar health problems & live nearby & therefore that somehow means we will "get on"

I've admittedly been quite blunt, but polite in saying "no thanks" & pointing them to suitable support groups. Though TBH I thought the acquaintance who thought this was an okay thing to do, would have at least apologise, rather than just ignore my reply all together

DH thinks I was perhaps a bit blunt, but for some reason this is a common theme for me & other friends (never close ones) have done the same thing, I've had similar when going out too, to the point where I won't bother going to an event if certain people are there because I sure as hell don't want to spend a night out discussing ailments & nothing else.

It's not that I mind advising where I can, I often do, but I don't want this invasion of my privacy/personal space , if that makes sense & I don't understand why people think it's okay, especially if the don't know me well. Plus this weird presumption that I need friends & therefore I'm a good bet for anyone struggling with health issues that's feeling isolated. I don't need friends, I'm lucky to have plenty of old friends that I just wish I had more time & energy to spend time with.

AIBU to think this is rude, presumptive & to be peed off as I am more than just my health problems. Genuine query


TIA

[RockinHippy]

For the sake of not drip feeding, I do have a huge amount of stuff going on in my life atm, from good friends in critical condition in ICU, to my DB being seriously ill, plus DDs Disabilities & much more

[LoniceraJaponica]

Can you not just remove yourself from them, or up your privacy settings?

Sorry you are going through so much

[TinyBarista]

I'd find it incredibly odd and would likely just exit the group. Never had this happen before and didn't realise people did this. YANBU!

[Lemonyknickers]

Had this happen before. I just leave the group. If it's a close friend a send another message to them saying hope they're not offended but I just have too much on ATM. It drives me up the wall to be honest!

[RockinHippy]

Thanks for the replies.

I should have been more clear, just wasn't sure how to word myself. Today's incident wasn't so much a group chat, more an acquaintance deciding to introduce me to a friend of theirs without asking & started the chat purely for that reason, my/their health issues listed as a discussion starter There was only 3 of us in it, so just leaving without saying anything would maybe have been just as rude

Going to check if I can tighten up settings to stop anyone else doing that without my say so, it's messenger, so I wasn't aware that can be done, thanks for the heads up👍🏼

[RockinHippy]

& thanks for the reassurance that I'm not just an antisocial misery guts

[Lemonyknickers]

Might take away your reassurance, but I am an antisocial miseryguts!

But being added to a small group like that with no warning, nope. I'd probably chicken out though and just pretend I'd never seen it (access it in airplane mode to read!)