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AIBU?

To ask what you'd think about someone who had a baby at 14

846 replies

Applestrawberryblackcurrant · 24/02/2018 12:13

Would this make you want to give the person a wide birth? Or would you not be bothered. Asking for friend.

OP posts:
JoJoSM2 · 24/02/2018 12:14

Seriousl? I'd think they were raped and feel very sorry for them.

JacquesHammer · 24/02/2018 12:16

Would this make you want to give the person a wide birth?

What is the thinking behind that? I don't think "teen pregnancy" is catching.

skippy67 · 24/02/2018 12:16

same as jojo

otherdoor · 24/02/2018 12:16

Wouldn't bother me. Would depend how old they are now though as to whether or not I became friends with them. I have a two year old but can't really see myself making friends with a fellow mum who's only sixteen years old...

WillowWept · 24/02/2018 12:16

I'd feel sad for them.

Applestrawberryblackcurrant · 24/02/2018 12:17

Even if the father was another school kid would you think rape?

It's obviously not catching I just wondered if people would judge.

OP posts:
WopYa · 24/02/2018 12:18

I'm bias because I know someone who had a baby at 14 and she is honestly the most awful woman I've ever met. Her kids are grown up now but she's not made a good job if if I'm honest. Made a lot of bad decisions


However. If you try your best for your child I wouldn't care what age you gave birth in all honestly and I prob wouldn't know because I wouldn't ask!

Aprilshowerswontbelong · 24/02/2018 12:19

I never judge other people's lives. I had dd at 17. Being a good mother isn't an age thing. You can be great at any age .

AgentProvocateur · 24/02/2018 12:19

Truthfully? I’d probably think that they’d been poorly parented. And the same would go for a 14 year old dad too.

Keepingupwiththejonesys · 24/02/2018 12:19

I'd think they were young and naive or possibly not in the best of places when they had baby. Otherwise not much though. I really hope people now don't judge me on who I was age 14

OldPony · 24/02/2018 12:20

I'd think abuse or poor parental models. I'd feel sorry for that person assume she's probably lovely, but think we wouldn't have much in common.

JustVent · 24/02/2018 12:21

I would really feel for her.

I know a few people this happened to, I only know one of them now and she appears to be very happy, married with more children.

My reaction toward to person would differ as to whether we are talking about a pregnant 14 year old or a 19 year old with a 5 year old child.

The latter, it would be the same as talking to any mother.

saladdays66 · 24/02/2018 12:21

The vast, vast majority of girls are not ready to bear children or be a good mother at the age of 14. (IN fact,a re any??)

But I would not 'judge'. Each case is different.

How old is the father?

(Also: 'wide berth')

SleepingInYourFlowerbed · 24/02/2018 12:21

Think of them in what respect? If I saw them in the street I'd probably wonder if they were the mum or sister of the baby to be honest. And if I knew they were the mum I'd probably feel sorry for them as they didn't get a normal childhood. But I wouldn't think anything nasty. Other 14 year olds might though...

Charismatictac · 24/02/2018 12:21

I'd think ''the poor girl''.

Lot of adults let that girl down along the way.

saladdays66 · 24/02/2018 12:21

And yy to wondering about the girl's parenting.

JoJoSM2 · 24/02/2018 12:22

If the father was a 14 year old too, I wouldn't think rape. But I'd be despairing the two of them and the fact they hadn't been educated about contraception. At 14 you're still a child yourself, so at no point would I get judgy (and I am am very much a judgy type otherwise).

NC4Now · 24/02/2018 12:23

A mum I know had her son at 14. I was a bit shocked when she told me her age, but I actually have a lot of respect for her. She had to grow up very fast, and did. She’s a lovely mum and a lovely person.

Helmetbymidnight · 24/02/2018 12:23

It depends on their personality etc. - as with anyone.

I'd feel sorry for them for becoming a mum so young tho.

expatinscotland · 24/02/2018 12:23

I'd feel sorry for her.

PhelanThePain · 24/02/2018 12:24

I’d feel sorry for them. I speak as a teen Mum but not as young as 14.

TeachesOfPeaches · 24/02/2018 12:24

I would feel very sad for her as it would have been incredibly tough. My mum was pregnant with me at 16yo.

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lizabes · 24/02/2018 12:26

I had my first at 17 and I remember feeling pretty terrified and inadequate so I can't even imagine what it'd be like when you're literally still a child.
If it was someone I was close to, a family member or a good friend, I'd make a point of being there for them and being as supportive and helpful as I could.
If it was someone I didn't know well I'd just keep quite and mind my own business.

beargrass · 24/02/2018 12:27

How are you coming across them? Because that's relevant. As an interviewer, as a school friend..?

I met a mum many years younger than me when we both had babies (she wasn't 14 but because I'm older the age gap was big), and it didn't stop us talking and being friends and supporting each other. It hasn't lasted (!) but I think it's because we actually don't have much in common apart from having had babies at the same time.

Cockmagic · 24/02/2018 12:27

I certainly wouldn't give them a wide berth because of their age, that's just awful.

I'd hope they have a wide support network. I had my own daughter at 18 and struggled to work, go to college etc.

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