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To ask what you'd think about someone who had a baby at 14

(847 Posts)
Applestrawberryblackcurrant Sat 24-Feb-18 12:13:00

Would this make you want to give the person a wide birth? Or would you not be bothered. Asking for friend.

JoJoSM2 Sat 24-Feb-18 12:14:57

Seriousl? I'd think they were raped and feel very sorry for them.

JacquesHammer Sat 24-Feb-18 12:16:01

Would this make you want to give the person a wide birth?

What is the thinking behind that? I don't think "teen pregnancy" is catching.

skippy67 Sat 24-Feb-18 12:16:16

same as jojo

otherdoor Sat 24-Feb-18 12:16:48

Wouldn't bother me. Would depend how old they are now though as to whether or not I became friends with them. I have a two year old but can't really see myself making friends with a fellow mum who's only sixteen years old...

WillowWept Sat 24-Feb-18 12:16:57

I'd feel sad for them.

Applestrawberryblackcurrant Sat 24-Feb-18 12:17:58

Even if the father was another school kid would you think rape?

It's obviously not catching I just wondered if people would judge.

WopYa Sat 24-Feb-18 12:18:50

I'm bias because I know someone who had a baby at 14 and she is honestly the most awful woman I've ever met. Her kids are grown up now but she's not made a good job if if I'm honest. Made a lot of bad decisions

However. If you try your best for your child I wouldn't care what age you gave birth in all honestly and I prob wouldn't know because I wouldn't ask!

Aprilshowerswontbelong Sat 24-Feb-18 12:19:29

I never judge other people's lives. I had dd at 17. Being a good mother isn't an age thing. You can be great at any age .

AgentProvocateur Sat 24-Feb-18 12:19:32

Truthfully? I’d probably think that they’d been poorly parented. And the same would go for a 14 year old dad too.

Keepingupwiththejonesys Sat 24-Feb-18 12:19:48

I'd think they were young and naive or possibly not in the best of places when they had baby. Otherwise not much though. I really hope people now don't judge me on who I was age 14

OldPony Sat 24-Feb-18 12:20:22

I'd think abuse or poor parental models. I'd feel sorry for that person assume she's probably lovely, but think we wouldn't have much in common.

JustVent Sat 24-Feb-18 12:21:07

I would really feel for her.

I know a few people this happened to, I only know one of them now and she appears to be very happy, married with more children.

My reaction toward to person would differ as to whether we are talking about a pregnant 14 year old or a 19 year old with a 5 year old child.

The latter, it would be the same as talking to any mother.

saladdays66 Sat 24-Feb-18 12:21:15

The vast, vast majority of girls are not ready to bear children or be a good mother at the age of 14. (IN fact,a re any??)

But I would not 'judge'. Each case is different.

How old is the father?

(Also: 'wide berth')

SleepingInYourFlowerbed Sat 24-Feb-18 12:21:23

Think of them in what respect? If I saw them in the street I'd probably wonder if they were the mum or sister of the baby to be honest. And if I knew they were the mum I'd probably feel sorry for them as they didn't get a normal childhood. But I wouldn't think anything nasty. Other 14 year olds might though...

Charismatictac Sat 24-Feb-18 12:21:33

I'd think ''the poor girl''.

Lot of adults let that girl down along the way.

saladdays66 Sat 24-Feb-18 12:21:42

And yy to wondering about the girl's parenting.

JoJoSM2 Sat 24-Feb-18 12:22:18

If the father was a 14 year old too, I wouldn't think rape. But I'd be despairing the two of them and the fact they hadn't been educated about contraception. At 14 you're still a child yourself, so at no point would I get judgy (and I am am very much a judgy type otherwise).

NC4Now Sat 24-Feb-18 12:23:23

A mum I know had her son at 14. I was a bit shocked when she told me her age, but I actually have a lot of respect for her. She had to grow up very fast, and did. She’s a lovely mum and a lovely person.

Helmetbymidnight Sat 24-Feb-18 12:23:32

It depends on their personality etc. - as with anyone.

I'd feel sorry for them for becoming a mum so young tho.

expatinscotland Sat 24-Feb-18 12:23:47

I'd feel sorry for her.

PhelanThePain Sat 24-Feb-18 12:24:12

I’d feel sorry for them. I speak as a teen Mum but not as young as 14.

TeachesOfPeaches Sat 24-Feb-18 12:24:59

I would feel very sad for her as it would have been incredibly tough. My mum was pregnant with me at 16yo.

lizabes Sat 24-Feb-18 12:26:48

I had my first at 17 and I remember feeling pretty terrified and inadequate so I can't even imagine what it'd be like when you're literally still a child.
If it was someone I was close to, a family member or a good friend, I'd make a point of being there for them and being as supportive and helpful as I could.
If it was someone I didn't know well I'd just keep quite and mind my own business.

beargrass Sat 24-Feb-18 12:27:00

How are you coming across them? Because that's relevant. As an interviewer, as a school friend..?

I met a mum many years younger than me when we both had babies (she wasn't 14 but because I'm older the age gap was big), and it didn't stop us talking and being friends and supporting each other. It hasn't lasted (!) but I think it's because we actually don't have much in common apart from having had babies at the same time.

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