To send her a message saying what I think of her?

[Usuallytootiredbuthappyanyway]

I have been in the process of selling my flat since the start of October and was ready to exchange but my buyer pulled out today 4+ months after making the offer. I have all her contact details and am practically sitting on my hands to stop myself from sending her a message explaining exactly what kind of low life I think she is. I know it’s not worth it

[Hippadippadation]

YANBU for feeling that way, but you would be VVVVV U to actually do it. I know how you feel OP. Chin up, someone else will come along soon.

[BakewellTart01]

Were you provided a reason for the pulling out?
I understand how horrendous it is when a chain fails. I have been there.
I have also had a friend whom had to pull out of a purchase due to her having a cancer diagnosis.
Perhaps something awful has happened. Doesnt make it any less awful for you. Moving house is awful

[gamerwidow]

So frustrating you have my sympathies!
You would be completely wrong to message her though, You have no idea what circumstances have led to her pulling out.

[patstar]

Really feel for you.So stressful buying and selling, but until we do what scotalnd does (sealed bids and committed once bid is accepted) these things will happen.

Things happen for a reason, the right buyer is out there somewhere for you! Sorry, I know this is not going to help right now, but it will work out, just take longer than plannned. Good luck and keep us posted

[formerbabe]

You absolutely cannot do that!

[upsideup]

YABU, you don't know the reason she pulled out, what the hell makes you think she is a 'low life'?

[Royalfuckup]

Did the estate agent ask her why she pulled out?

[DalekDalekDalek]

Understand that you are annoyed but you have no idea why she has had to pull out. Maybe a loved one has died or she's lost her job.

What benefit will come from telling her what you think of her? Is she going to turn around and say that she will buy after all? All that will happen is that you will show yourself as being bitchy and you'll probably make an already crap situation worse.

YABU.

[Delilah21D00LoT]

This is something that happens all the time with buying and selling properties - to contact her and say those things to your buyer would be totally inappropriate!

Circumstances beyond the buyer's control could come into play too.

My friend had sold her place and was due to exchange and was absolutely livid when the Estate Agent called her to let her know the sale was off - she tore a strip off him ranting and raving quite rudely (even she will admit to that) when he finally got a word in to explain why, it was to tell her the buyer had died.

I'm sorry your buyer has pulled out, but buying/selling properties never runs smoothly, unfortunately.

[aaahhhBump]

Ours pulled out 5 days before the contract was signed despite us paying for a structural survey that they should have. I felt the same. We lost the deposit on our new build after trying to find another buyer and are now no longer moving.

It was a great act of strength not to message them and tell them what I thought of their buggering us about.

But 1 year on we're still in our flat and are now making plans to move abroad. Would have been a bigger loss if we'd moved so sometimes its for the best.

[SparklyLeprechaun]

It's so frustrating when that happens, but there's no point in messing her. People don't pull out for fun, buying a house is such a massive step, she would have incurred valuation fess, solicitors etc so she probably had a very good reason to pull out.

Someone else will come along.

[Usuallytootiredbuthappyanyway]

Thanks everyone, I know it would be the wrong thing to do really but it kind of helps to think out what I would say! I only know the reason she has given that she has concerns about the length of the lease (the length of which she has always known!) but that isn’t necessarily the real reason. It just sucks that it has cost me time and money and is completely out of my control. I’m extra grumpy because this means I have to go through the rigmarole of keeping the flat in viewing mode once again and I am terrified that I will lose my dream house now

[AnaWinter]

How awful for you op but resist the urge. You do not know the circumstances. I do hugely sympathise though 🌷

[TheDailyMailLovesTheEUReally]

We had this when our vendor pulled out on the day of exchange, after months of messing us about. We lost over £2000 on non-refundable legal fees and surveys. The temptation to email them and tell them what I thought of them was immense, but there was no point. As it turned out we found a better house and although the whole purchase was a nightmare from start to finish, we're now in and very happy.

Don't do it. It won't change anything and it won't make you feel any better. Take the weekend to lick your wounds and then speak to your EA and get back on the market again. The end of Feb starts to pick up for sales anyway so you are coming into a good time of the year to sell.

[Royalfuckup]

Ah. If it’s to do with the length of the lease then it’s possible she might not have got a favourable mortgage offer.

She will have spent a lot of money too don’t forget. It’s highly doubtful that she just pulled out willy nilly.

[Usuallytootiredbuthappyanyway]

Aaahbump I’m sorry to hear that and glad that it has worked out in the long run, must’ve been really tough at the time.

[Raisins18]

Happened to me after 7 months, however it sold quickly to the next buyer and for more money....but I was very lucky!

[cadburyegg]

Don’t do it! Another buyer will be along soon. I feel your pain - we moved last year and although we weren’t close to exchange our buyer pulled out after 2 months. She told our lovely EA that she had “found somewhere else that suited her better”. She’d had a survey done so the EA did think it was odd but she made no mention of there being a problem with our house. So we had kept the house off the market for her and spending money on our purchase while she had still been looking

Luckily we found a nicer buyer a few weeks later who didn’t mess us around!

[Usuallytootiredbuthappyanyway]

To clarify, the lease isn’t short, it’s 86 years and she would be able to extend, she’s had her mortgage sorted since September! I don’t suppose I will ever really know. Hopefully I will be able to look back in a year or so and find a reason to be glad it happened but right now it’s hard to see past the utter disappointment and frustration of it all.

[frasier]

Right time of the year to be selling now OP. Might get a quicker better sale.

[Usuallytootiredbuthappyanyway]

Fingers crossed frasier!

[WindyWednesday]

I had the opposite situation. In my case the vendor pulled out when I was at the solicitor’s office signing the contract. I’d had all the searches done and paid a few thousand in the process. Handed in my notice on my rented house, I sat in the solicitor’s office with my pen poised when the phone rang and she had to tell me the sale was off.

[NurseryFightClub]

Don't do it, I had to pull out after survey on a house and mortgage wouldn't lend and the guy rang me up and ranted down the phone. Was awful...

[Garmadonsmum]

She could have passed on sincere apologies via the solicitors if she was bothered. I don't have much sympathy.
Unfortunately you can also pull out in Scotland these days, as I have discovered.

[chocolateworshipper]

Definitely write the email and say exactly what you think of her.

But don't send it.