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To be upset he yelled at me

(92 Posts)
Twocatsonebaby Fri 23-Feb-18 12:55:05

So long story short, my dp fails to help me with anything. We have a 10 month old dd and Im due number 2 next month. He's a hands on dad which I'm glad about. But things like housework etc, I have to ask for (which I don't feel like I should) and I always get "I'm busy" when he's in a game. (gaming addiction. I don't give a shit what he says. It's an addiction.) so I struggle a lot but I plough on.
So dp lost his job in January which bought in decent income. I'm part time but I'm now on maternity again. (which they've messed up so for a few months I'll be getting no Income. Im furious angry ) so my partner signed on and we were then told 2 weeks after by letter he was entitled to £0. He phoned up to find out it was income based Jsa? I don't know I've never signed on luckily. So we had to fill out a new form. I say we, he's incompetent and makes me do it. 24 days later, nothing has been done and we're really struggling for a roof over our heads. A credit card debt. Luckily I have everything for baby number 2 and my dcs I've made sure are provided for.
But he just got off the phone to the benefits office and told me I'd filled the form out wrong, it was my fault and its my fault work have messed up my maternity. So I told him to get some damn clothes on and we will go up to the job center now to do the form as I'm fed up of struggling. I'm fed up of all my money going onto bills and he can buy a game. I need things for my hospital bag and can't afford them. But it's just been none stop yelling at me and blaming me. It's not my fucking claim!
So then he decides to yell at me that he doesn't want to go to the job center today and he wants a day on his games. (he spends every day and night on the damn things)
I'm pissed off. Sorry ladies. I need a rant. I'm upset, hormonal and 35 weeks pregnant.
So now money from my birthday that I needed to buy hospital things with, even basics is going on the debt he put me in cause he just had to buy a game.

Whatshallidonowpeople Fri 23-Feb-18 12:57:07

And you had kids with him Why?

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Fri 23-Feb-18 12:57:41

Leave him. Now. Run for the hills, take the kids and don't look back. He's a waster and a loser, putting gaming before a job when there are debts etc

Twocatsonebaby Fri 23-Feb-18 12:58:02

I should also had he's making me go to my aunts tomorrow (far away and I'm terrified of going into labour) cause he wants a day off from everything to game. How pathetic. I want him here until the baby is born and then I want him out. I'm fed up now. I'm fed up ive lost all my possessions because he fails to provide. I'm fed up he puts barriers in the way of potential jobs. I'm fed up of struggling and cutting my grocery bill back from £20 a week for both of us and a baby. (it's mostly formula and nappies) I've lost everything since I've moved in with him. I've lost myself. I'm so depressed and this isn't healthy.

Twocatsonebaby Fri 23-Feb-18 12:58:48

Well, at the time he has a decent job for life and I thought he would keep it. Spent more time on me etc not that it's important now. Then ever since we moved in he became a waste of space.

doesthislookoddtoyou Fri 23-Feb-18 12:59:08

So long story short, my dp fails to help me with anything....... He's a hands on dad which I'm glad about

those things can't both be true.

Twocatsonebaby Fri 23-Feb-18 13:00:13

I'm not being unreasonable am I? His nan keeps coming over trying to sell him to me "he does love you". Like fuck he does. Then he has the nerve to tell me every man is like this. I don't need a man. But it'd be nice to have the support. My man is the little man I'm carrying and that's all I need. But I'm lumbered now with this parasite.

MermaidTailUnicornHorn Fri 23-Feb-18 13:00:19

Mess of your own making I’m afraid.

You had a child with this man and then seem to have got pregnant after a month of giving birth.

You knew what he was like, so why the hell are you still with him and having a further child with him?

No sympathy what so ever.

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry Fri 23-Feb-18 13:00:41

Sell his games console? Two birds, one stone.

Perendinate Fri 23-Feb-18 13:00:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Twocatsonebaby Fri 23-Feb-18 13:00:54

I'll give him that, he does bother a lot with dd and does most for her. Bottles, changes etc taking her out. Just useless every other way and fails to provide

Handsfull13 Fri 23-Feb-18 13:01:36

If your money is paying the bills then you are paying the electricity it takes to play his games. Tell him either he pays the electric bill or no games until it gets a job. Or just tell him to get out and not to come back til he's going to help. Honestly if he does fuck all now then you don't have anything to loose.

readyforapummelling Fri 23-Feb-18 13:01:55

I would seriously get rid of this selfish fucker! You would be better off on your own.

From the minute my DD was born I told DP that if he isn't a help then he is a hindrance and if he is a hindrance then he can fuck off.

He decided to be a help.

I'm sorry your having to deal with this bullshit whilst pregnant, you need to be strong and not wear any of his shit. Tell him to sort his head out or leave, you must stick to your guns.

And maybe take a hammer to the games console.

PipGirl404 Fri 23-Feb-18 13:03:41

Agree with PP, you're in this situation of your own accord.

You're the one with the money so just chuck him out? It's not hard.

EllieMe Fri 23-Feb-18 13:03:43

Why on earth are you going out tomorrow so he can play games? Just say no and sit down and watch bad films all day.

placebobebo Fri 23-Feb-18 13:04:09

This isn't working and he's fallen into blaming you for all of lifes ills.
Don't wait until after the baby is born. Things will be even harder with 2 under 1. Find out what you can do to get out now. Find another birthing partner and forget about him, all he wants to do is bury his head in the sand at the sight of the first hurdle in life, that makes neither a good partner or father.

Twocatsonebaby Fri 23-Feb-18 13:04:40

Well, technically, it's mine. So it's being put in a box in the loft and the children will have it when they're older. It's new. If I sell it I won't get what I paid back so my kids can have it and he can fuck off after ds is born

Appuskidu Fri 23-Feb-18 13:05:18

I should also had he's making me go to my aunts tomorrow (far away and I'm terrified of going into labour) cause he wants a day off from everything to game.

What do you mean, he is making you go?

T2517 Fri 23-Feb-18 13:07:09

Tell him to get down there or you’ll sell the console and games to get what you need. Actually follow through - or at least pawn it. Don’t put it in the loft - he’ll find a way to get it.

MermaidTailUnicornHorn Fri 23-Feb-18 13:07:26

I should also had he's making me go to my aunts tomorrow (far away and I'm terrified of going into labour) cause he wants a day off from everything to game.

No one can you do anyone. Grow a backbone and learn the word no.

If he’s a good dad then he’ll still be involved in his children’s life.

At the moment you’re facilitating his behaviour so why the hell would he change?

MermaidTailUnicornHorn Fri 23-Feb-18 13:07:55

* no one can make you do anything

RoryAndLogan Fri 23-Feb-18 13:09:19

'He's a hands on Dad which I'm glad about'

There shouldn't be such thing as a 'hands on dad'. He's either an equal parent when you're both around, or he's shit.

BastardGoDarkly Fri 23-Feb-18 13:09:22

No sympathy whatsoever then why comment? Just to stick the boot in? Feel good does it?

People make all sorts of mistakes, should we only support those deemed worthy and blameless? Just piss off.

Sorry op!

He's not going to change, do you just want him there until the birth to help with dd?

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry Fri 23-Feb-18 13:09:40

Fair play op. Sounds like you’ve already made up your mind?

Twocatsonebaby Fri 23-Feb-18 13:09:49

I just want to add, ds wasn't planned and I think people are under the impression he was. My contraceptive failed massively. Especially with dd so young definitely not what I wanted but not unloved. He's taken care for now. I just couldn't go through with an abortion. I did think about adoption but I can't do it either.

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