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AIBU - Paying for the best man on a stag do

(46 Posts)
dreamer1990 Fri 23-Feb-18 04:08:59

I'm going on a stag do (gay wedding) in a couple of weeks and the best man, a close friend of mine, has just sent us an e-mail of the price breakdown.

We're doing activities and the price is £42 but he's asked us to pay for the groom (which I don't mind) so the price becomes £46.

We have to fill in a form, which the best man's e-mailed to us, and make an online bank transfer to the activities company.

But when I look at the form, with everyones names on it, the best man's name is there and next to it say 'FREE PLACE!'.

Then when I read the terms and conditions it's says that for every 10 people you get one free place. So the best man has taken it upon himself to take the free place angry.

AIBU in that I think the groom should get the free place and the best man should damn well pay for himself. Now it feels like I'm paying for the best man to come on the stag.

I'm not sure what to do. As I don't know most of the stag group, if I send a reply all, I don't know if they'll all think I'm being mean, which could very well result in a terrible, and possible unrecoverable, first impression.

honeysucklejasmine Fri 23-Feb-18 04:11:34

Eugh. That's not on at all.

Crunchymum Fri 23-Feb-18 04:17:57

For £4 I'd suck it up.

SilverBirchTree Fri 23-Feb-18 04:21:11

Not cool! Since he’s a close friend, can you raise it with him?

I’d write back saying ‘the free place is for the groom, ya noodle. Do your maths again.’

PyongyangKipperbang Fri 23-Feb-18 04:42:58

Very cheeky.

Depends on how you think he will react if you call him out on it as to what you should do though.

If he is the type who will go OTT, probably not worth ruining the grooms evening for the sake of £4.

ClareB83 Fri 23-Feb-18 04:47:08

Are you sure the usual price is £42 and he hasn't spread the discount of the free place amongst you all already?

Mummyoflittledragon Fri 23-Feb-18 05:03:13

Write what SilverBirch said.

pasturesgreen Fri 23-Feb-18 05:08:52

The best man is a CF. That said, only you can tell whether it's worth the aggro over £4.

JennyOnAPlate Fri 23-Feb-18 05:23:43

I would have to raise it with him. "Surely the free place is for the groom? I think your maths is wrong!"

DalekDalekDalek Fri 23-Feb-18 05:37:53

Insanely cheeky but people can be crazy buggers. For £4 is it worth the hassle though?

TheButterflyOfTheStorms Fri 23-Feb-18 05:39:23

Is the grooms name on there at all?

XiCi Fri 23-Feb-18 05:42:22

Before you go in all guns blazing I'd check whether he has taken the free place but divided the total cost between all of you except the groom so you all benefit from the free place. I imagine that's what most people would do, you'd have to be a right cf to take the free place for yourself

pictish Fri 23-Feb-18 06:20:26

I’d just a ‘genuinely confused’ fashion.

“It says on the T&Cs that there’s one free place for every ten people. So (groom) is covered already isn’t he? Or am I wrong about that?”

pictish Fri 23-Feb-18 06:23:11

I would normally say it’s not worth digging your heels in over a few quid but I dunno...this is quite cheeky isn’t it? Or perhaps he thinks that as he has taken the time to organise everything he is entitled to it.

NewYearNewMe18 Fri 23-Feb-18 06:27:13

Am I missing something - surely there are two grooms?

Hesburger Fri 23-Feb-18 06:30:48

Could it be that the best man has laid out some money on refreshments or items for the stag do already?

Maybe he is using the free place to reimburse those costs?

bimbobaggins Fri 23-Feb-18 06:57:21

Yes I would say surely that the groom has the free place? Who wouldn’t question this? It may only be £4 but that may only be the start of the free things he’s expecting

user1471517900 Fri 23-Feb-18 07:01:31

New Year - two grooms can still have two different stag dos for their respective sets of friends.

PanPanPanPing Fri 23-Feb-18 07:05:00

Perhaps it just says Free Place against the best man's name because he's organised it, but, as PPs have said, maybe he's already spread the 'discount' between everyone anyway?

bimbobaggins Fri 23-Feb-18 07:10:10

But the activity is £42 and he’s added on £4 to cover the groom so not spread any discipline.

bimbobaggins Fri 23-Feb-18 07:14:21


ChasedByBees Fri 23-Feb-18 07:16:57

This is so cheeky. I bet others are thinking the same. It might only be £4 but it does start the weekend on a sour note.

SunnySeaShell Fri 23-Feb-18 07:17:52

That's cheeky! I'd be absolutely certain that he's not split out the discount already and then send a 'witty' response as already suggested!

PanPanPanPing Fri 23-Feb-18 07:18:58

That depends on whether the best man has told everyone that it's £42 per head, or whether the form actually says it's £42 per head, IYSWIM?!

TenThousandSpoons Fri 23-Feb-18 07:21:06

He might have already spent £40+ on other stag things (food/booze for all?) so decided rather than asking for more money he’ll just take the free place to even things up. But no harm in the “isn’t groom free?” qn. Could be framed as a helpful message to make best man’s job easier rather than a challenge.

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