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To feel totally swamped in crap

(43 Posts)
redjoker Thu 22-Feb-18 09:18:29

I feel like I am living in a constant tide of STUFF. Which has only got worse since having a baby 5 months ago. I try so hard to fight against it. I do weekly sort outs for the charity pile. Recycle as standard. I have regifted what feels like hundreds of items to people I know having babies taken clothes back with labels in for store credit. Avoid buying new clothes unless really needed. Don't really buy anything in general. I've asked grandparents to stop buying soft toys and general tat. (More politely than that). I use reusable wipes and nappies. Im really trying but I feel like I'm bloody swimming against a tide of plastic and toys and general life crap and I feel really shit about it

Even Mary whatsherfaace with her sparking joy didn't help me. As soon as I get rid I seem to gain it all back again.

AIBU to want to live in a little shed somewhere with just an oven and a few jumpers.. maybe some biscuits and my son (obviously...)

TheStoic Thu 22-Feb-18 09:21:30

You seem to sort things out weekly, so where does the new stuff come from??

Anymajordude Thu 22-Feb-18 09:27:39

I sooo know how you feel. There's so much stuff and my children won't let me chuck anything out. I have to charity shop old stuff in secret.

redjoker Thu 22-Feb-18 09:31:18

Constant buying from grandparents. My mum is constantly buying even though I ask her not to. My other half works away and drip feeds stuff back. Plus my mother in law is constantly giving me her old clothes! (She's 2 sizes bigger than me so not sure what she's saying!)

Trooperslane2 Thu 22-Feb-18 13:01:26

I keep 2 bags in our pantry

1. General charity shop (could be clothes, trinkety stuff, kitchen stuff we don't need any more etc)

2. Kids charity shop - when DD's clothes come out of the dryer I check them and if they're too small/neat then they go straight in there.

I also Kondo every 6 -8 months or so and I'm feeling so much better because of it.

pesky generous fashionista Granny and Great Aunt

I also go through DD's stuff that I know she hasn't played with recently or books that are too young for her (when she's at nursery) and they go in the kid's bag too.

I filled the boot the other day and it felt bloody brilliant!

I know your pain OP..... When DD was born (we don't live near relatives) the post man used to joke he was getting a bad back carrying presents for her as I was flashing my boob at him

redjoker Thu 22-Feb-18 13:12:18

Haha troopers I love that. My post lady is on first name terms thanks to that. (Not the boob thing Haha!) I have been spoilt well and truly and we have been so lucky but it's also general life crap. My house is full of just random bits. Stuff that no one needs. Sometimes I just wish we didn't all surround ourselves with it all. Candles, dvds, clothes, cables just everything.

I try so hard to be environmentally friendly but some days I feel like giving up when another bag of plastic turns up.

Then other days I'm dying to go shopping I'm a total mess! Lol

Lately my newest obsession is toothbrushes. Every time I use mine I think why is it plastic and I stress about how many the world must get through. I'm so odd

springydaff Thu 22-Feb-18 13:24:15

Storage makes a big difference. if everything has a home you can chuck it out wihtout anyone noticing and is filed away, the decks are clear. So good for the mind.

redjoker Thu 22-Feb-18 13:24:16

Fyi just went a bought a bamboo toothbrush after some mental torture

redjoker Thu 22-Feb-18 13:25:24

Springy...does a big box of unsorted crap on top of my wardrobe from when we moved in a year ago count!?

GrannyGrissle Thu 22-Feb-18 13:34:10

Buy a shed. Box shite up and put in shed. Job done. Repeat as necessary with attic and garage (if available). No really i felt like this to a panicy level after Christmas. I have so much beautiful stuff i just dont want or need (NOT a stealth brag the one thing i want back but can't have is my health and am so fucked up i know i'll never have another significant other in my life so everything is FAR FROM rosy in my life).
I've been ruthless with chazzering stuff and just view it as someone else can benefit for stuff which causes me stress. People want to spoil little ones especially when they are the only Grandchild and i haven't the heart to say anything to gift givers but the being given away pile currently has a £75 unworn with tags Courage and Kind dress and Ralph Lauren dress new with tags £95 and we AREN'T rich/go nowhere that required beautiful expensive frocks so DD just out grew them as the sat there gathering dust. Am thinking of buying DD a pony (she loves them) then all gifts can be horse based and kept in a tack room grin I realise this sounds bloody ungrateful but drowning under stuff is horrid
About twice a year a clear out the food cupboards and give heaps to the foodbank - all the fads that i tried, things we liked for a bit, BOGOFS and throw in a few bits too such as a load of on offer creme eggs this week This keeps the kitchen cupboards reasonably clear though the BB4 date has to be decently far off.

GrockleBocs Thu 22-Feb-18 13:36:05

I feel your pain. Dd has ASD and refuses to throw anything away. DH has stuff everywhere - all over the house and garage. DS still has toys. I'm drowning in stuff and I can't cope.

Ffsnothingworks Thu 22-Feb-18 13:37:08

I warn you it just gets worse, with all sorts of plastic crap picked up in party bags, puzzle and game pieces everywhere, Lego, just so much stuff!

Catinthecorner Thu 22-Feb-18 13:55:37

Toothbrushes- you can get bamboo ones now if that helps?

redjoker Thu 22-Feb-18 13:56:48

Ahh I know it will get worse won't it. I came back from a hen do at the weekend with a goody bag of utter shit. Costume jewellery. Nail varnish. Utter tripe that is great on the day but now just destined for the landfill. Honestly it makes my head hurt. My mum knows how I feel and is good but it's her first grandchild so gets carried away. My other half is military so has a lot of random work crap which he needs but seems to be everywhere. Loft is well utilised out of site out of mind! And I really have tried to take baby clothes back/ regift and in general pass on to family with babies. In general my house is actually tidy and well ordered I just feel like I think about it nonstop. I mean. We don't NEED anything do We? I have enough 'smellies' to keep a whole village smelling of vanilla and coconut for the next 30 years!!

redjoker Thu 22-Feb-18 13:57:40

Yes catin I literally just ordered one and feeling slightly more at peace with the world. Next obsession bound to appear soon....

metalmum15 Thu 22-Feb-18 14:11:28

Try sorting out room by room, so for instance when you get 5 minutes (with a baby!) go through kitchen cupboards /drawers and chuck out/charity/sell anything you don't use or need, next time do bathroom cupboard, next time wardrobe etc. If you have 20 pens you only need a couple. If you have 50 candles send a load to charity. Once you get started its very therapeutic, and when you see the house becoming less cluttered it makes you want to keep it that way. I'm currently going through every room in my house and loving it!
Also, stop accepting clothes from your MIL! Tell her thanks, but your wardrobe is full. She'll find somewhere else to send them. Not much you can really do about children's stuff though, and it will get worse as they get older. I've never known anyone to hoard crap like my kids!

JohnLapsleyParlabane Thu 22-Feb-18 14:12:12

I know how you feel. I'm absolutely ruthless about tat that comes in it doesn't make it past the front door usually I just put it straight in the car to go to the charity shop. Doing that in front of the relentless givers can make them stop talking to you completely
Also, bamboo toothbrushes.

redjoker Thu 22-Feb-18 14:28:58

I'm glad I'm not alone feeling like this. I have tried to stop mother in law but now she just gives it to my DP to bring to me! To be honest the next day it goes in the charity pile. I feel like I constantly throw Away. We have doorstop charity collections here every week so I'm always rummaging for crap I don't need to give away. I really feel like I should be doing more to reduce my impact on the world but it just feels impossible. I watched the Ikea documentary about how they are building a new store in India. They conducted 100's of home vists. Each family said they have everything they need and don't require anything else. I can't help thinking filling their tiny homes with Ikea picture frames and plastic is just a step in the wrong direction.

Catinthecorner Thu 22-Feb-18 15:36:32

Don’t let the mil stuff through the door. DH can take it to the tip/charity shop as appropriate on the way home or tell his mother no.

The box of crap - get rid. If you haven’t needed it in a year what are the chances it will be useful in the future.

Any chance you can steer the grandparents into experience gifts instead of more stuff? Baby massage or something?

Military stuff, remember if he was living as a single on base he’d get a double room with a bathroom and that’s it. All the crap would have to fit so it shouldn’t be taking over the house.

Good luck

rackhampearl Thu 22-Feb-18 16:44:57

I'm exactly the same! I hate, hate, hate clutter! I have two kids and the mountains of shit is just unbelievable. I am moving house next week and I've been selling and giving stuff away since 8am today and still going. I love to give away toys to the kids that don't get that much though and often the parents are so appreciative it makes me happy. I generally go around everyday throwing away bits of junk. My eldest is a nightmare hoarder and collector though. She gets rocks from the school playground and she even found a piece of dry spiral pasta on the kitchen floor last week and made a little bed for it ! Nightmare.

StarShapedWindow Thu 22-Feb-18 18:32:20

I hate ‘stuff’ everywhere in the house, now my youngest has started school I’m having the most enormous clear out. My aim is to live a minimalistic life, but with two DC it’s a battle. Yesterday I got rid of every DVD we own (so many!), nearly all my books and need to get DH to agree to letting go of the CDs (which we couldn’t play if we wanted to). With every bag I take to the charity shop if feel lighter and happier. Be ruthless OP, try not to care who gave you the things you don’t want, just rehome them to whoever wants them or the charity shop. You’ll get there, it takes much longer than I’d hoped!

MrsMoastyToasty Thu 22-Feb-18 18:36:32

It goes on until they get their first games console, mobile phone and laptop. ...then you spend your whole life tripping over cables.

redjoker Thu 22-Feb-18 19:11:36

Yes I think I may get rid of my DVDs..once it's in the charity bag and on the kerb it's no going back. What annoys me is that I am pretty ruthless (I think) but it still seems never ending. Mind you compared to my Mum and MIL I live in a white box. They have so many nicknacks. And nests of tables. WHY

metalmum15 Thu 22-Feb-18 19:46:46

Haha nick nacks and nests of tables, throwback to the 80s!! My parents house is exactly the same.

metalmum15 Thu 22-Feb-18 19:49:34

Regarding MILs clothes, I would keep them all in a bag, then in a few weeks give it to her and tell her you've been having a clearout of stuff you don't want and wondered if she'd like any of it!! She won't pass anything on again 😉

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