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MIL sucking on baby’s hand

(329 Posts)
SilverBirchTree Thu 22-Feb-18 06:23:19

My 4 month old baby is going through a phase of constantly sucking on his hands and fingers.

Yesterday MIL said to baby ‘you like having your fingers sucked don’t you?’ and proceeded to put her mouth around his entire hand and suck.

My involuntary facial expression was shock. Seeing my reaction, MIL said in a baby voice ‘it’s good for my immunity mummy’ and then turned to the baby and in baby talk said ‘you need to build up your resistance. That’s a big word, resistance’ and so forth.

...She then continued to suck on his hands and fingers in front of me....

AIBU or is her behaviour as obnoxious as I feel it was?

I don’t mind people touching or kissing the baby’s hands... but full on coating them in saliva just seems disgusting. And odd. And bloody disrespectful to carry on with if you know the mother isn’t ok with it.

But I’m a first time pedantic mother so happy to be told I am wrong and overreacting.

Any immunity experts? Any MIL advice?

Pengggwn Thu 22-Feb-18 07:03:17

cheese hands

grin

merrymouse Thu 22-Feb-18 07:04:46

Oops - accidentally pressed post-

Over time babies develop immunity perfectly well without anybody sucking their hands. They are more likely to get a cold which at that age is unpleasant for all concerned.

On the other hand parents do often cover babies with kisses and put baby feet in their mouth - babies are very edible. However I think ther

Mulberry72 Thu 22-Feb-18 07:05:22

Ewwwwwwww that’s gross OP

envy <—-not envy!

ShamelesslyPlacemarking Thu 22-Feb-18 07:06:40

Her biology lessons can be countered by telling her that although that might be what she believed (way back then) knowledge has moved on in the last 30 years and you don't want such disgusting unhygienic practices used with your son.

Says what medical organization exactly?

SoupDragon Thu 22-Feb-18 07:08:02

Meh. My DC often used to shove their hands in my mouth.

RadioGaGoo Thu 22-Feb-18 07:09:41

I pretend to eat my DS's hands - he loves it, giggles all over the place. I would be a bit weirded out if someone else did it though.

SoupDragon Thu 22-Feb-18 07:10:20

you do know how many germs are in your mouth and on his hands right?

Makes you wonder how a baby survives sucking on its own fingers doesn’t it? What with them being covered in all those germs...

merrymouse Thu 22-Feb-18 07:11:29

There are are some things that are a bit too icky if you aren’t the parent, particularly if you are doing them in fromt of the parent. She over stepped a boundary and then tried to cover up the embarrassment with a dodgy excuse.

Either that or she really is misguided and has forgotten how horrible it is to have a baby with a cold or fever.

(Off to get coffee!)

JoJoSM2 Thu 22-Feb-18 07:18:37

Tell her to help FIL with his immunity instead grin

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Thu 22-Feb-18 07:25:44

Her biology lessons can be countered by telling her that although that might be what she believed (way back then) knowledge has moved on in the last 30 years and you don't want such disgusting unhygienic practices used... 30 years ago (not the dark ages btw) we didn't do that. In fact I've not heard of anyone doing that. Ever.
I reiterate- fucking weirdo.

ShamelesslyPlacemarking Thu 22-Feb-18 07:26:38

Makes you wonder how a baby survives sucking on its own fingers doesn’t it? What with them being covered in all those germs...

I assume this baby will never be allowed to crawl on a floor that anyone has walked on.

Hortonlovesahoo Thu 22-Feb-18 07:29:42

Good on you for washing his hands. That’s just unhygienic!

Deshasafraisy Thu 22-Feb-18 07:30:13

Yuck. Why didn’t you take your baby off of her? It’s your job to stick up for him no matter who that might upset

Rumpledfaceskin Thu 22-Feb-18 07:31:12

Disgusting. The thought of my mil doing this is enough to make me physically ill.

RollTopBath Thu 22-Feb-18 07:31:57

PerfumeIsAMesage is right. It used to be commonplace and exactly the sort of things granny’s did.
She probably has a point about immunity development though.

BendydickCuminsnatch Thu 22-Feb-18 07:32:29

Surely the baby is putting their hand in their mouth to help with teething? So MIL sucking on its hand isn't going to blummin help is it! Ugh how irritating.

DryHeave Thu 22-Feb-18 07:32:48

Revolting. And way overstepping the mark - both doing it and then trying to justify it by using a baby voice.

GetOffTheTableMabel Thu 22-Feb-18 07:33:34

Do not stand for that. She doesn’t sound very respectful of you.
I would say “I mentioned that to the health visitor. I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t fussing unnecessarily and she said that you are wrong and should not be doing that. Please do not do it again.”

zzzzz Thu 22-Feb-18 07:33:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpringEquinox Thu 22-Feb-18 07:34:35

I've never heard of anyone doing that before - I don't think it's some old practice that has been superceded by modern science ?! Just taking the ' oh, your so delicious , I could eat you right up !' a bit too literally .

CelebratedOysterGlutton Thu 22-Feb-18 07:35:07

Had my MIL - or my own DM - done that, I'd have shown her the door, rather forcefully, with my boot up her arse.

YANBU, OP. Total lack of boundaries, and also just... grim.

mathanxiety Thu 22-Feb-18 07:37:09

I have never heard of anyone doing that either. I am 53.

It's not the germs that are a problem. It's the fact that this was way too much close physical contact between MIL and your baby. I suspect she knows that. She used the fact that you washed the baby's hands as a way to make you doubt your instincts on this.

I would actually be very wary of this woman and would not leave her alone with him. This was a massive failure of judgement on her part.

Very glad you took the baby away and washed his hands off. It was the best way of showing your very appropriate feelings.

FIL possibly thought she was out of order too.

*BTW, the baby's 'phase' of sucking on hands and fingers goes on for years. He is most likely starting to teethe and chewing hands and fingers (andngelse he puts in his mouth) helps relieve gum pressure, but babies suck and chew their own hands for a long time.

Cheekylittlenumber Thu 22-Feb-18 07:37:39

Aside from the germ aspect I don't like the fact MIL has assumed it's ok to do something so intimate with the baby that only a parent should do.

My SIL kisses my baby on the lips whichever I hate, and I've never even done myself (Feel like I've had a constant cold since she was born- btw she's not PFB she's my second)

SIL is also a nursery school worker and I always imagine she's riddled with germs, but it's actually the presumptiousness I hate that she thinks it's ok to kiss my baby like that. She's my fucking baby- came out my vagina! When you have one you can snog it all you want! Hands off mine with your cheap impulse body spray covering pfb2's lovely baby smell

CoolGirlsNeverGetAngry Thu 22-Feb-18 07:38:01

What zzzzz said.
The bullshit PA “talking to you through the baby” needs to be stopped. Believe me!

pilates Thu 22-Feb-18 07:38:54

Yuk. I would have been upset, just horrible. Just say can you please not do that, I don’t like it.

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