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MIL sucking on baby’s hand

(329 Posts)
SilverBirchTree Thu 22-Feb-18 06:23:19

My 4 month old baby is going through a phase of constantly sucking on his hands and fingers.

Yesterday MIL said to baby ‘you like having your fingers sucked don’t you?’ and proceeded to put her mouth around his entire hand and suck.

My involuntary facial expression was shock. Seeing my reaction, MIL said in a baby voice ‘it’s good for my immunity mummy’ and then turned to the baby and in baby talk said ‘you need to build up your resistance. That’s a big word, resistance’ and so forth.

...She then continued to suck on his hands and fingers in front of me....

AIBU or is her behaviour as obnoxious as I feel it was?

I don’t mind people touching or kissing the baby’s hands... but full on coating them in saliva just seems disgusting. And odd. And bloody disrespectful to carry on with if you know the mother isn’t ok with it.

But I’m a first time pedantic mother so happy to be told I am wrong and overreacting.

Any immunity experts? Any MIL advice?

Pengggwn Thu 22-Feb-18 06:25:28

I'd tell her not to do it. Immunity will be fine without all her crap in his mouth.

Raver84 Thu 22-Feb-18 06:26:28

That's disgusting. Tell her not to do it and take the baby off her next time.

Afreshcuppateaplease Thu 22-Feb-18 06:26:32

Buy her a dummy

A) she can suck it
B) it might shut her up

SilverBirchTree Thu 22-Feb-18 06:28:57

@Afreshcuppa oh if only!

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Thu 22-Feb-18 06:29:47

Fucking weirdo.idbe saying (in a baby voice) well grandmas talking bollocks isn't she?

Worlds0kayestmum Thu 22-Feb-18 06:30:30

Oh god, that's vile. I'm not even comfortable with people touching my baby's hands as he puts them in his mouth so often. He's had plenty of colds and doesn't need any added stress to his little body. I would tell her in no uncertain terms that it is inappropriate and his immunity will be challenged naturally enough without the help.

earlgreymarl Thu 22-Feb-18 06:30:49

Ah ha ha ha * afreshcuppa *!! I think it's gross and inappropriate, it definitely would have bothered me, as would the side talk of talking to the baby to convey something to you.

Florin Thu 22-Feb-18 06:31:56

I just sicked up a bit in my mouth, that is really grim. There is no way I could watch her do that

ApacheEchidna Thu 22-Feb-18 06:34:24

shock that is not OK.

And babies do not like or need to have their fingers sucked by someone else. They like and need to suck their own fingers as part of their brain development as they learn to understand the world - starting with exploring their own bodies. They do not need their grandma's saliva.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon Thu 22-Feb-18 06:34:55

Just tell her you use his fingers to pick your nose as his fingers are small enough to get places your fingers can’t grin

ParadiseLaundry Thu 22-Feb-18 06:35:40

YANBU that is vile. His immune system will be fine without having to drink grandma's saliva.

I'm sure someone will along soon to tell you you're being precious though hmm

missmorleyme Thu 22-Feb-18 06:36:14

That's absolutely horrendous, tell her to do one next time, is she a smoker or anything? Either way it makes me shudder.

SilverBirchTree Thu 22-Feb-18 06:36:29

@earlgrey yes the hand sucking was envy gross but then giving me a little biology/parenting lesson via baby talk made me murderous angry.

SilverBirchTree Thu 22-Feb-18 06:38:39

I was stunned so didn’t tell her not to. But I came to my senses a few minutes later and came over to her and washed his hands. My doing so created an awkward silence between myself, MIL and FIL which made me feel that they thought I was being controlling or neurotic..

Mummyoflittledragon Thu 22-Feb-18 06:44:28

Perhaps she will think twice before sucking his hands. What she and fil told you there is that she has no respect for your authority. Is she normally like this? You say she never shuts up.

ShamelesslyPlacemarking Thu 22-Feb-18 06:49:10

Couldn’t get myself worked up about it TBH. I used to pretend to eat my babies’ hands and they always squealed with delight and wanted more. I assume my mouth is no more sterile than anyone else’s.

S0ph1a Thu 22-Feb-18 06:50:12

No, you are being normal . And she is weird.

It’s like an animal marking it’s territory. She’s challenging you, stamp this out now.

Next time she does anything to your child that you don’t like, just say “ please stop that “ and remove baby imediately from her.

Don’t get into arguments where she tries to make you defend you position. Just say “ I don’t like that “ or “ I don’t want you to do that “.

Don’t let her or FIL hold baby again for that visit.

If she won’t treat you with respect, don’t have her in your home.

Slartybartfast Thu 22-Feb-18 06:50:13

i dont blame you for washing his hands. good for you.
that was wrong of her.
He is your baby, you can suck his hands not her!

Dottypolka Thu 22-Feb-18 06:51:38


TooFatForTahiti Thu 22-Feb-18 06:51:43

Oh God, how did she manage that without vomiting? 4mo cheese hands smell so, so bad - I can only imagine the taste is horrendous to match. So foul. 🤢

Esspee Thu 22-Feb-18 06:51:58

So glad you washed his hands in front of her. If she tries it again tell her very firmly to stop it and if she refuses remove the baby, clean him up and put him in his cot in his room. Don't bring him back while they are visiting. Her biology lessons can be countered by telling her that although that might be what she believed (way back then) knowledge has moved on in the last 30 years and you don't want such disgusting unhygienic practices used with your son. Do get your DH onside with this.

merrymouse Thu 22-Feb-18 06:59:28

Babies don’t like having their hands sucked, they like sucking their hands. Over time babies develop immunity perfectly well needs to suck their hands. a cold which at that age is unpleasant for all concerned.

Maybe she realised what she did was strange (sometimes people just do stupid things) and then tried to cover up?

PerfumeIsAMessage Thu 22-Feb-18 07:02:56

Of course she's not marking her territory, How ridiculous.

She's doing something that used to be considered "normal" but obviously now, with more healthcare info, isn't.

"euuuuuw, you do know how many germs are in your mouth and on his hands right? You probably won't want to do that again!" probably suffices as a riposte.

TheMaddHugger Thu 22-Feb-18 07:03:14

Ewwwwwwwwwwww (((Shudder)))))
Im gonna be sick

ps, I am nana.

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