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AIBU?

Family problems long

16 replies

Karin55 · 21/02/2018 14:40

Two years ago my son's partner lost custody of the two children to my son,,(not going into it here) but shortly after he met a new partner who already has a daughter..net had another child very shortly after, they do not live together but maintain a relationship whilst living apart, my son is coming on holiday with myself and husband and his two children, however I have just had message from him to ask if I can have the kids for two weeks while he has a family holiday with his partnered d United and the new baby. I was distraught That he would leave his children behind to have a family holiday with his new partner her daughter and new baby he however can't see anything wrong after all he said they are having a holiday with us and him so why cant he have a holiday without them ? I pointed out just because they have a holiday with grandparents that shouldn't preclude them having a holiday as a family unit step mum step sister and half brother he doesn't get why I m so upset ..am I making too much of it.. My heart breaks at him leaving his kids behind to basically have a Holiday with a new family any thoughts???

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Anxiousally · 21/02/2018 14:47

Could you not all go on one big family holiday, that seems like the fairest thing to do.

Karin55 · 21/02/2018 14:51

Yes that would ,but I know that I would end up subsidising everything as usual.i did offer to pay the rent on a big villa for us all, then got the it has to be near entertainment.Not secluded .no lol and other demands lol

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coconutlimesmoosh · 21/02/2018 15:01

your son is a massive cunt, is my thought.

I imagine SS is involved, do they know what kind of shit he's pulling?

Karin55 · 21/02/2018 15:21

Strong words and to be honest I am ashamed of him social services are no longer involved,the children have caught up at school and he has basically been left to get on with it.I know the reason behind leaving the girls behind is money as they can go all inclusive for half the price taking the girls would double it.but the money isn't the issue it's the thoughtless behind it.I Know without sounding like a hysterical mother his partner is the originator of this idea.when they got together he was a part time employed dad and she got him to herself with her daughter without his children.she never planned for having the kids in the mix permanently 😲

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Helpimfalling · 21/02/2018 15:30

My heart also breaks reading this for the other children

If anything they should be more then welcome on both holidays since they seem to have been through the mill

You must be really upset with your son and hurt for the kids I’m sorry he doesn’t see this

Could it be new gf pulling strings

coconutlimesmoosh · 21/02/2018 15:31

Don't blame her, yes shes a cunt as well but he is the one who knocked up someone new within 5 mins and is now ditching his own children to suit himself.

Karin55 · 21/02/2018 15:36

I know it's not going ahead as he won't be able to find anyone else to take them . but I am still furious with them both.. If I am totally honest she had this baby as a source of income .I just wish I could find some reason for this behavior and by the responses I am right in thinking how disgraceful it is

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Helpimfalling · 21/02/2018 15:38

Your totally rite I’d be so frustrated he don’t see all this for himself and put them first

Karin55 · 21/02/2018 15:43

It's put a huge strain on my husband and myself to be honest can't seem to get through to him😟😟

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SunshineAfterRain · 21/02/2018 15:46

That is so sad.
So if he ever stays with the girlfriend and kids, where do your granddaughters go?
If they don't merge properly as a family you will be forever picking up the slack for your son
I totally understand you disappointment

Karin55 · 21/02/2018 22:00

Sometimes they stay around her house sometimes they come to stay with me. My son always says they are I family yet I see precious little of it

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Helpimfalling · 21/02/2018 22:12

I just hope she doesn’t push her kids in front of your grandkids at the weekend and make them feel like outsider that breaks my hesrt

Helpimfalling · 21/02/2018 22:13

Sorry typing holding baby so spelling exceptionally bad lol

frasier · 21/02/2018 22:15

My SIL did this. Had a baby with partner and then split up. Met someone else and had a baby with him, left the oldest child with grandparents while she went off playing happy families with the new guy and baby.

Now grown, the first daughter has little to do with SIL. She learned where she stood poor thing.

I don't know what to suggest Karin. Do the children have any other family?

Karin55 · 21/02/2018 22:44

No just me and their grandad and the mother who is allowed contact for three hours a week the eldest girl gets on very well with stepdaughter the youngest not so much think she gets pushed out a bit between bossy oldest child and new baby .I'm scared to say too much to Phil'm case he cancels the holiday I've booked and paid for 😢

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Karin55 · 21/02/2018 22:44

Autocorrect him!!

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