To think he's out of my league

[nipnips]

I am fairly recently separated from my husband and after a much shorter cooling off period than I'd planned, I've gone and met someone else.
He's 4 years older than me and also separated. He's dated a few women over the last year or two but hasn't found anyone he wanted to see more of. Until now, he says.
We met online, and spent a number of weeks chatting daily. He's witty and playful, and although I wasn't sure about whether I would find him attractive after receiving some photos from him, I knew we'd at least become friends so I arranged to meet him in a local pub for a drink.
As it turns out, we hit it off. Conversation flowed, he made me feel good, he looked great in the flesh and I fancied him. When we left the pub together we hugged and I pecked him on the cheek and went home.
An hour later he messaged me to tell me that he thought our date was 'electric' and couldn't wait to see me again.
To cut a long story short he's been driving cross country to spend time with me, he treats me with total respect and has suggested we wait before we have sex. So I know he's in it for me as a person, rather than sex.
On paper it all sounds lovely, but something is bothering me. He has a very high powered well paid career. He is incredibly driven and successful, the type of man who gets up at 5am to go to the gym before jetting off to close a multi million pound deal, then finishing the day with a meeting on the board of governors for his daughter's school.
Then there's me. I'm skint. I drive a clapped out old banger and run a crappy little business from home which fits in well around my children, but i'm hardly raking it in. Until I met him I was happy with my place in society, so I don't really need people coming along to tell me I have low self-esteem etc. I don't.
I just wonder why he's interested in a relationship with me? Will my lack of drive and ambition be too much for him to bare? Can a relationship like this work, where one person is contributing so much and the other so little?
I've asked him not to be flash or talk about money because it makes me uncomfortable, and he listened. He's been really trying, but it still bugs me.
Am I better off letting this one go?

[malificent7]

Why in earth is he out of your league? money isntcall. Also i hate the term 'out of my league.' You are worthy.

[UpstartCrow]

I don't think he sounds out of your league, but. If you feel like something is 'off' then ffs listen to that.
Is he passionate when you kiss? Waiting before you have sex is not always about respect.

[Marylou2]

You’re right OP. What could a man like that find attractive in an articulate woman who runs her own business, however small, and seems to like him for himself rather than his money? I wonder.... 🙂

[TrollTheRespawnJeremy]

You have a chip on your shoulder- not him.

[Vitalogy]

I know you said don't mention low self esteem but what else can it be?
Just try and enjoy it for what it is. Don't p*ss on your own chips Enjoy! You deserve it!

[diddlemethis]

Do you really know what he is telling you is the truth? If there is a niggle in your mind, did you put it there, or him?

Or, maybe it is just too soon for you, maybe your head isn't ready for a relationship yet.

[nipnips]

Yes Upstart, he's very passionate when he kisses me. We haven't had full sex but have covered foreplay and he's very excitable and in to it.

[UpstartCrow]

Unless you have a doubt based on gut feeling that something is off, then go for it. Whats the worst thing that could happen - things might not work out. In which case you are no worse off than you are now.

[Aprilshowerswontbelong]

My dh was a manager and I was a lp on benefits. Happiest relationship either of us have had.

[SundaysFunday]

Perhaps he's after a loving and funny woman who has her priorities right in life, nurtures her family and values people.

[Sparklesocks]

You deserve to be happy, and it sounds like this man makes you happy. You owe it to yourself to at least see where it goes, and you can break it off if it doesn't work out - but don't try and sabotage something that's barely started!

[greenbeansqueen]

No one is out of your league. Ever. So get that out of your head.
See how it goes for a bit longer?
Perhaps you're out of sync on values - are you going to be okay being with someone who's work is so important to him? That might be the deal breaker rather than your 'lack' of ambition.

[Lashalicious]

Well, money doesn’t matter. I can see your concern though. First, make sure he is who he says he is...I’m sure you’ve already done that. So, just relax and enjoy and know that you may be a breath of fresh air to him. Maybe he likes you because you are a good person on top of being attractive and he is drawn to that.

[nipnips]

I Googled him after a few dates, and yes he is who and what he says he is. I believe he's honest and genuine.

[ignoringthechoc]

Yes I think he probably is.....so if you just pm me his details I will save you a ton of heartache and go out with him instead :)
Why on earth would you think that? He sounds great, the chemistry is there and doesn't sound like he has an issue with your different circumstances so just enjoy it.
I always think if you have doubts you should listen to them, but if your doubts are just about money or a lack thereof I would take a leaf out of his book and not let it bother you.
Good luck, I hope it works out well for you.

[HollyBayTree]

If he's such a catch, why is he separated?

Workaholics rarely make good husbands, good providers yes, but good husbands no. You never see them.

Why does he want to see you - because you are nice person and he feels a connection.

I just wonder why he's interested in a relationship with me? Will my lack of drive and ambition be too much for him to bare? Can a relationship like this work, where one person is contributing so much and the other so little? That depends on whether you want a comfortable life. He's probably wants some normality and to come home to someone who isnt trying to compete with him.

[Trinity66]

how was he being "flash"?

[nipnips]

He's stated a few times that he can't believe someone as attractive as me would be interested in him. He's so loving and sweet, but I'm not sure if I can bare to let myself fall in love with him and then it all fall apart because of circumstances.

[Lashalicious]

Wonderful! He may have been looking for an honest and genuine person himself and he found you.

If you’re still concerned, you’ll be able to discern something from his previous relationships, etc.

[fearfultrill]

He's found himself an independent, decent, exciting woman who owns her own business - he obviously thinks he's hit the jackpot, and rightly so!

Try to relax and enjoy it, he sounds lovely, as do you

[nipnips]

Trinity, saying things like 'You can have anything you want'. And 'what can I buy you?' 😷 I don't want anything. So I told him to stop and he apologised and hasn't done it since.

[Lashalicious]

I think the only way it could fall apart due to circumstances is if his family decided to be against you for what they would think is an imbalance financially or something. So you are more attractive than him? And he has more money, status. Are you physically attracted to him for him? If so, then I would go for it. He may be looking for someone who likes him for him and not his money and you may be looking for someone who likes you for you and not your looks. Could be a match made in heaven.

[Bluedoglead]

He’s playing you. Seriously. All the flash and the wonderful ness and the rest of it. He’s a serial dater.

I’d bet my last smartie on it. Been there done that got the t-shirt.

He’s latched on because you’re vulnerable and a bit off kilteremotjonally due to recently separating.

[HuskyMcClusky]

saying things like 'You can have anything you want'. And 'what can I buy you?'

Okay, I’m glad he stopped when you told him to, but...ugh. That’s off-putting.

[Trinity66]

nipnips

ah right, he's probably just trying to impress you but I can see why that would be annoying, I'd hate for anyone to see me as a kept woman type thing as well